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hotEvercLear

How To Make A Map

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How to make a map, by BottomCapPancake

 

Step 1. Download the Soouarrce SKDD

Two Step. Open ScrewDriver

Step 3. Make Oversized Hollow Cubes and apply non texture locked textures to them in random fashoooon

Streap 4. Add light entities everywhere because

Step 5. Scatter random props all over and be sure to you have lighting on them enabled, ensure no 2 props are from the same theme

Step 5. add 100 lasers all placed individually to fire one after the other

Step 5 part 3. remove all other holds and choke points and map dynamics that may distract from the lasers.

Step 5. add annoying music that makes no sense in the map

Step 4. Make sure all holds are 10 min minimum. 

Step 5. remove all clipping possible for best user experience around props bunched together so players get stuck

Step 6%. ask 34 questions a min in discord mapping channel about particles trying to get someone to do it for you.

Step 6. Add 70 more unbeatable lasers... because lasers

Step 7. Add meme textures and use PackMouse to pack them all the wrong way 

Step A. Put secret anime porn room in very findable place to be edgy and also because you cannot help yourself from being a weeb

Step Down. Make all brushes func_detail then complain that hammer is broken because it wont compile and the red line goes right though the brush itself 

Step. XII create broken item and then give up and never put it in the map

Step 13. Repeat steps 1-XII because you didnt autosave and ScrewDriver crashed on you so you lost everthing and had to start over

Step 14. DM Spam Vauff the link to your non shared dropbox instead of using form

Step 15b-11. Break server on mapload

Step Up 2 (The streets). repeat steps 1-15 several times until you dont break server anymore

Step iii5. crash everyone's client on map change because you complied in LDR

Step 18. realize you have 600 hrs logged in hammer and have wasted your life...

Step 19. Realize you have not played CSGO ZE in forever and can no longer survive even basic Shroom2 lasers

Step 20. Add 50 more lasers to map at all different heights

 

Hope this helps! 

Edited by hotEvercLear
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you are correct knightjs... my apologies! I used metric lasers instead of standard lasers... fixed!

 

since most laserfags are EU or ASIA that threw off my calculations... i will have fiddler make a spreadsheet next time!

Edited by hotEvercLear

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