literal guide scp SCP-1161: "How-To Guide" {GFL Edition}

[Doomnack 60]

Sadly, no, it's not a book of boxbox's guides.

 

Anyways, this is a continuation of the massive itemposts I've been doing lately. Don't mean to flood the suggestions forum, even though, that's obviously what I'm doing. But I'm honestly liking writing these types of suggestions because instead of making serious SCP suggestions, I've been making suggestions that I actually enjoy comically or gameplay-wise.

 

See this as whatever you like, but here's a neat way to spend leisure time in game, and maybe you could learn things along the way.

 

SCP-1161: "How-To Guide"

-Spawns in item location. Only found in Site-19 for consistency of its readings.

-Item Type: Active Weapon

-On use: a random hint is messaged to the player; knowledge is power.

Purpose: A fun little thing to entertain bored players, but could genuinely help new players to the game and maybe teach experienced players some stuff they didn't know.

 

SCP-1161 presents different sections in its reading, including:

 

Containment Breaches and You: how to NOT die in Situations of Certain Doom.

(presents knowledge on general things to avoid)

 

The Class-D Monthly by the New Foundation Times: Top 25 Ways to Escape!

(presents knowledge on general ways to escape)

 

A Beginner's Guide to the Various Anomalies of Site-19: Featuring Guest Star Dr. Clef.

(presents knowledge on various SCPs, hinting their capabilities)

 

The title of the section is messaged to the player, followed by the actual message itself.

(the rest is kinda' long, read the possible responses if you wish)

 

Containment Breaches and You: how to NOT die in Situations of Certain Doom.

• Truth is pal, men dressed in orange aren't meant for this world. Might wanna' avoid the guys with the long guns.
• I don't know what kind of operation they were running here before, but you might want to keep an eye out for big scary monsters, okay?
• If you're lucky enough, you may find some healing items around this place. Look for shiny lil' red things especially, those are really good.
• Dude, I don't know how to explain this to you, but blue and orange don't mix.
• Let there be guns, said the Lord. And let there be people to shoot them with, said the Lord.
• Buddy, if you want to get ouf of here alive, I suggest arming yourself if you haven't already.
• You know stunsticks are waaaaay cooler than crowbars. Well, you can swing faster with a crowbar, but a stunstick does more damage!
• Neutrals are called neutrals for a reason, and you might wanna' back out of their way before things get ugly!
• I heard there's people coming to get us out, soon. At least, I hope they are, assuring that you're not orange of course.
• There is no god comin' to save you, sadly. But there are heavily-armed military men busting in any second, I can just feel it!
• Hey, four eyes. If you're reading this, I suggest getting far away from those dumb "D-Boys" while you still got consciousness!
• Hey, TRO's, a wise man once said: "remember, no orange".
• Make best use of your men while you still have them, colonel! I'm counting on TRO like you to save the day, well, I'm assuming that you're a TRO, heh.
• If you see an orange blobby thing coming down your flank, be prepared to hug. Hug once, hug twice, hug as many times as you please.
• If there's one good use for orange slimes, it's when it's the type of orange slime that tickles you!
• To all of the unfortunate prisoners still in this hellhole, remember one thing, "blue equals bad, green equals good".
• Hey Class-Ds, I suggest not shooting the mysterious peeps in green. I mean, it's not like they're TRYING TO SAVE YOUR HEADASS!
• TRO arrive at the 2 minute and 8 minute mark. Make use of that information of whatever way you want to.

 

The Class-D Monthly by the New Foundation Times: Top 25 Ways to Escape!

• Gee, I wonder if the entrance zone is where the entrance is. You might want to skidaddle while you still can.
• There are two gates, and as such, two possible options to escape, if you haven't noticed already...
• TRO tend to be less alert around Gate B, fellow D-Boys. Use Gate B to make a stealthy escape.
• Watch yourself at Gate A, fellow D-Boys. There's almost bound to be a crowd of TRO there.
• A wise automated script once said: "Stuck behind gate a? Use !gatea to open it".
• Mind that Gate B may be a bit unstable at times. Utilize the "Remote Door Control" switch in the electrical center to try and pry the gate open.
• Due to an unfortunate fault in Gate A's wiring, they spontaneously open at the 5 minute mark. Engineers are still baffled till' this day.
• Top 10 questions scientisst can't explain to this day: Number 1. HOW COME THE HEAVY CONTAINMENT ZONE COMES BEFORE THE LIGHT CONTAINMENT ZONE. LIKE SERIOUSLY.
• Utilize doors as cover, especially against gunfire. Just note that all doors are made out of paper, making them easily bullet penetrable, so don't stand infront of it!
• You might want to be careful of that big, loud, scary, electrical shock thingamabob. Disable it in the electrical center.
• The electrical center allows for easy change of various options within the facility. Use it as your advantage.
• You might not want to draw attention to yourself, especially when you may be outnumbered.
• Sometimes, it's best to avoid SCPs while you still can!
• You might not want to escape the facility around the 2 minute or 8 minute mark, namely if you happen to be wearing orange.
• The surface allows limited cover against gunfire; it may not worth messing with spawnwaves.

 

A Beginner's Guide to the Various Anomalies of Site-19: Featuring Guest Star Dr. Clef.

• If you ever come in contact with the statue, just remember one thing: don't blink.
• Beware the corrosive man. His pocket dimension may be your final resort.
• Don't listen to what he says. He's not the cure, and he certainly nowhere safe to touch.
• He wants to burn. Don't let him, especially not on you.
• Remember, when dealing with exceptionally shy people, the best thing to do is to ignore them.
• He just wants tickles! Just give it to him already!
• He may claim to be sincere, but that mask on his face tells researchers otherwise.
• Yeah, the farmers were disgusting, but guess what he thinks about you!
• His lies do not shadow the truth. He's not one of you, but he shares your voice.
• You can't see them, but they can certainly see you. But all you need is equipment.
• In the corner of your eyes, it lurks for you. Just wait until you get a glimpse.
• Keep your distance from it, don't let the grasp of darkness consume you.
• The swordsman is quite skilled in the art of movement, but his lust for blood consumes him.
• They're just kids afterall, but they do make a damn good task force!
• He's may be a deer, and may possibly be a prophet, but he's certainly a god, and he stares into your being.
• Don't say it. If you say it, he will see you.
• It can't see you, yet. Might want to avoid electronics for a little while.
• You are not Eric, and it knows that. Don't stand around, waiting for the yarn to scream.
• Do not look into the face of the soapstone, for their presence lingers.
• Not everything is at it seems, and for some reason, this applies to cats.
• It's out, and it's pissed, and it's, helium?
• They hate for you, but not until you hate with them.
• Read the encylopedia, at your own risk.
• It is the cure, the only cure, the true cure. And it's red too.
• Didn't your mother ever tell you to take two please?
• The clockwork machine's confines are more than just the limb of the broken god. Let its refinements aid you.
• The hole grants you a second chance at the fortunes you have ignored from the past.
• Did I ever tell you this book is likely the coolest book out there? Who needs aids or Daevas when you can have knowledge!
• A word of advice, from the man who knows too much: "I wouldn't want to wake up, but unfortunately, you must".
• A word of advice, from the man who knows too much: "This is a dream, the last dream you'll ever have, for nightmares are coming".
• I forgot what to write down here. I think it was something green and circular, I'm not too sure though.
• SHARKS DON'T LIKE BEING PUNCHED SORRY!!!

 

God, that took waaaay too long for an item that purely serves for slight advice and acts as more of a joke. I hope this gets somewhere though.

 

This is my last suggestion for the item-scp-apocalypse, I'm going back to my hiding hole.

 

Edited February 6 by Doomnack

[Boomer 18]

you're on a roll, doom. +1

 

also, i like the little nod to "Hostile Helium."

[The1337Gh0st 6]

+1, this seems like a neat way to help the newer players (and maybe get some flavor text out of it)

[Hunting4r2d2 46]

An item that is both humorous and helpful, +1

[Cpt.Haxray 278]

Fantastic, even if the paper thin door one doesnt really apply anymore. 

[KaitoKiriyama 8]

How do I +1 multiple times legally?

[strawberry crab 44]

cosx(1/cosx) multiple times over best suggestion of yours so far.