The Quotes Collection

VilhjalmrF · May 28, 2019

So a bunch of losers from GFL join voice chat and have wonderful discussions. And we have this man named Astral Rogue who likes to qoute what we say. Unfortunately for those who participate in the voice chat, you all won't have any context of what started all the shit we said. So you might get the wrong idea. Maybe. But regardless it's funny as shit. Note: None of this shit we said can relate to the next qoute.

Special thanks to the peepz who join the voice chat:

@Astral Rogue, @RaeTheGay, @KaitoKiriyama, @Nicole, @Xy_, @cd326s, @Lipquip, @morgie, @Chro, @Toasted_Chromosomes, @Duc2000, @AtomicHeadphones, @Aquaticfilly0, Bossman, and there's more but they don't join much.

Special thanks to our fallen comrades who use to join us (or rarely join us):
@Aura, @Celltastic, @WigglesWorth, @IHeart, @shelby, Astro, EJ, @Jat, @Harakoni, and many others. 💔

"Everything we talk about is controversial." "Just take popsicle sticks, and we'll change it into a discussion." "On this podcast, we'll talk about popsicle sticks and why they're controversial." "For as long as they existed, they've been the controversial topic of arts and crafts everywhere." "Our discussions are going to go one of two ways: We'll all yell at each other, or we'll have a civilised discussion about it." "Right when your mom talked, I got Vietnam flashbacks, I'm sorry." "Sergeant, I can speak with these trees. Ching chong." "Eat this, nerd." "But I don't wanna eat it, put it back." "Guys, I have cancer." "Yeah, you are." "Imagine your mom going up to you and saying 'Ha, you have cancer.'" "Having a gamer mom: 'You're a cancer CS:GO gamer, I'm disowning you.'" "I'm sorry, I don't speak I-got-nuked." "I don't speak radiation poisoning."

There's going to be a lot of quotes to collect.

"I can't do that black girl laugh." "Oh, Nicole?" "Nicole's black?" "Yeah." "Well, I need to talk to Bossman about that Nazi thing."

"I have to copy paste your name to tag you." "That's because I'm a god."

"I have a Snorlax named Boogie2988."

"Sorry, I'm learning the art of kung-fu, and the art of kung-fu involves a chainsaw." "Silly rabbit, you're gay."(edited)

"I want to fuck you in the sink."

"If anyone starts asking, 'Joker, why are you crying,' you start playing the 096 freakout sound."

"Punching people with a molotov sets people on fire." "But shouldn't it also set you on fire?" "I guess it doesn't." "Maybe it's the magic of kung-fu safety."

"People will now know that Morgan is a feet molestor. How wonderful."

"Have you ever dreamed of fucking a table? Like, the sharp edge of it?"

"Don't you hate it when I [Data expunged] your [Data redacted]?"

"1, 2, 3." "Oh, my internet's-."

"You're playing Rainbow Six, you're not allowed to talk."

"I love you all, I'll suck your dick. That came from KaitoKiriyama." "Wait, what?"

"Alright, son. You have nipples now."

"But why don't we play SCP: Secret Laboratory?" "I will hurt you." "How old are you?" "20." "Ok, it's legal."

"Chro, how old are you?" "...I'm not going to answer that."

"What you should do is to listen me, because my opinion matters." "You're playing Rainbow Six, you don't have one."

"Operators do things." "Like what?" "We can't do anything."

"Retard is great, but vegetable is better."(edited)

"For exactly 5 turns, it's Wolfblade."

"Girls on the Internet don't exist. Just look at Morgie."

"If you're immortal, you can smoke all the weed in the world." "I think I'd rather not."

"How are you gonna fly? Immortality doesn't give you flight." "Just slingshot me around the sun or something."

"I'm gonna die by getting sucked so hard I die."

"Well, Kite's name is insert racist name here then."

"Please don't enslave the chickens we need for KFC."

"Why does it sound like every time someone's trying to speak German, they sound like they're about to vomit?"

"What is [Gary] resigning from?" [Kite slams his hands and Joker bursts out laughing.](edited)

"We're gonna go to Washington and give Morgie an actual education."

"When I was in first grade, I remember eating with all my classmates, and I said 'I wanna be a girl.' A girl near me asked me 'Why,' and I said, 'Girls get so much more respect.' Years later, I found out I was wrong."

"Look, look, in the eyes of god, it's ok."

"In the eyes of the police, I'm serving 15 years."

"What are you talking about?" "Don't worry about it."

"If I pretend I'm black, I'll get out free." "But you'll stay in longer." "Wait, shit. Alright, how do I become white?"(edited)

"You're strong enough to stomp on a sunflower's face."

"What should I name it?" "Emma Watson." "It's a male." "Emma Watson."

"I keep accepting their phone numbers and I don't know why."

"Why can't you eat people in Minecraft?"

"Can you speak to me in radiation poisoning?" "Only Atomic can speak that, I'm sorry."

"Joker is King Chackas, is that what I heard?"

"I thought he was Asian." "I thought he was normal."

"It's coke, which is cocaine." "No, cocaine is cocaine."

"I'm Canadian, we say coke."

[Knocking at door.] "Dad, not again, please."

"Sans Undertale is shot by police brutality."

"I bet you like it when people shove their fist down your esophagus."

"The amount of people I know that like fingers in their mouth..."

"Cannibalism is just really intense vore."

"I forgot Gary hasn't hit puberty yet."

"The only reason I adopted you was so I could get child support off of you. And when you're 18, I'm kicking you out because I can't get any money off of you." "This sounds like a personal experience."(edited)

"A black president? What the fuck is this, America?"

"I just got back, what the fuck am I listening to?"

"I don't feel so good, Mr. Joker."

"Age, gender, my dick knows no bounds."

"It's like an entire Hitler speech in German."

"I'm not a woman, I'm the Green Goblin."

[Anime girl moaning.] "I didn't mean to play that."

"Lesbians are not real, nor are females."

"My therapist: 'Girls aren't real, they can't hurt you.'"

"You know who always sounds like he's on Xbox Live? Kite."

"He uses Garry's Mod Source mic."

"We're making Bernie Sanders the founder of GFL, and LaggyShaggy superadmin." [Kaito leaves.]

"Xy, what's your say on this?" "Uh, yes."

"Every breath is equivalent to kirby sucking."

"Have you ever made love? Tell me, I wanna know. Even Geno knows." "I killed my wife and children."

"God damn it, now that the Groovy bot is back, we're going to molest these commands."

"If this was my own son, I would smack him in the face and call him out."

"Why is there a Ugandan man rapping to me?"

"You know why I want Imperial Japan to come back?"

"I've been in the bathroom for 5 minutes. It still hasn't stopped."

"Why is 'Nazi ice cream truck' an actual title?"

"Now you're not Crusty the Clown anymore." "You're clinically insane now."(edited)

"You're just as bad as King Chackas." "Yeah, I do bad shit. I killed a man."(edited)

"Morgie, I thought I told you I was gay."

"Are you saying I'm ugly, or hot?" "I'm calling you the motherfucker from Kickass 2."

"Some guy was going over the civil war, and for whatever reason, he just had his pants tighten."

"And now there's mortar shelling."

"The dark knight rises."

"If you had a movie name for your dick, what would it be?" "True lies."

"Mean girls."

"Jack and Jill because of how disappointing it is."(edited)

"Toy story 3." "Woody's got wood."

"The Incredibles."

"Danger Zone."(edited)

"The Little Mermaid."(edited)

"The Little Engine that Could."(edited)

"Gone with the Wind."(edited)

"Christopher Robin."(edited)

"I heard that once and I've never been able to forget it."

"I'll give you a CS:GO skin that you can sell if you read it out entirely." "How much? If it's neon, I'm taking it."

"Let's find a fanfic. SCP Mal0 x reader fanfic..."

"Kite, I can't hear you through Xbox Live."

"It's in the past and present tense?"

"You just pulled a random Mal0 fanfic, didn't you?"

"Male reader x yandere female furry. I am not a fan of this."

"Who is fondling their airsoft gun?"

"It sounds like you're using an arcade stick."

"It's called 'Thanos fucks the MCU.'"

"It's untitled. It's literally untitled." "That's how bad it is."

"Were you ever about to win a CS:GO game, but you say the n-word so you get kicked out?"

"By roof, I mean the second floor."

"I too, start being gay when I say stuff."

"I covered up 2 million of them." "You're making a bigger deal than it is."

"Hey guys, I'm a kamikaze pilot and I'm in Hawaii, should I land and say hi?"

"It's that every time I met a female online, they're all black."

"I'm currently sexually harrassing him more than Aqua does."

"You will now die. I have a single truck and I'm not afraid to ram into your house at 78 MPH."

"You are not the first and most likely the last human I vore in my life time."

"Also hey Morgie, I’m going to consume your entire body. And given the amount of diablo sauce in my body, you will probably be set ablaze the moment I swallow you."

"I look like a jew that just came out of the Holocaust."

"I literally just met you, so you don't count as a human being."

"You could hear the bed springs going."

"A true woodland gay crime-doing gremlin."

"What is the greatest crime against humanity?" "Actually paying for PornHub premium." "Paying money."

"Morgan, how much of a bottom can you be?" "Morgan's a crazy lesbian." "She's a lesbian?" [Cue silence.](edited)

"I want her to stomp on me."

"I legitimately laughed at a blank white screen."

"It's HootHoot, not Hooter."

[Slurping noises.] "Cd, stop." "Put your bong away."

"Here's the difference between all of us: Kite's actually hot."

"Pedo, what's a pedo? You mean a pebble?" "Pitbull?"

"I don't smoke weed, I just drink alcohol and drown myself in it."

"Name one time I did it." "Just now." "...I don't recall that."

"I can call you a bottom because you get downed a lot of the time. Both in and out of relationships."

"Cd, you have a beard, you're considered one."

"That's not true because I could kick a Sunkern in the face and probably eat a Magikarp. Unless it knows tackle."

"My knees are broking."

"Kaito versus the forces of evil, but it's literally just me screaming at the top of my lungs."

"Kaito versus the people trying to play the game."

"Tea, coffee, 7 ounces of black tar heroine."

"But you're literally a bottom." "I'm an alcoholic."

"I like Kite's moans."

"I'm about to make you God-fearing human beings in 30 seconds if you don't quit this."

"Shut up, you Asian. I'm about to nuke your country."

"Maple syrup sounds."

"Don't listen to Christians, they don't know what they're talking about."

"Died by a gremlin crashing a Japanese plane into Pearl Harbor, and the Japanese just went along with it."

"You're literally probably more of a bottom than Morgie." "You're right." "What? Oh right, she's 15."

"If Aqua finds out, then she's going to scare the shit out of me." "How would she scare Kite?" "You don't want to know the things she does to me."

"I don't trust a man who carries around a molly." "You know they already made Rule 34 of Duolingo? Wanna see?" "No one should be surprised that they rule 34-ed Duolingo."(edited)

"Everyday life with SCP girls." "There is nothing good about that sentence."

"Are we being speciest now?" "Yes, we're being speciest because I'm a Neo Nazi, what do you want?"

"If you live near me, I will shank you."

"That was supposed to be my shop, but I forgot that I kill anyone that looks in my general direction."

[Joker starts playing "Woody's got wood."] "Oh no, I can't pause it!"(edited)

"Go buy a gun and point it at people, you'll make easy money."

"Guys, I have a chest bleed." "A what?" [Insert gargling and choking noises.]

"I'm gonna sacrifice newborns."

"I would kill 5 million people just to legalise marijuana." "Just like the Jews?" "Yes, exactly. Just like the Jews."

"The only words I got was 'burnt burger.'"

"It sounds like he's trying to give birth."

"There are a lot of gay dudes that are lanky or really, really good-looking, and that scares me."

"'Jesus, do you love me?' 'No, I hate you.'"

"You know, I often wonder..." "Oh no." "...if she breathes, is she truly a thot?"

"Bold of you to assume that she's breathing."

"I believe in top until proven toppled."

"Describe your sexuality with a Nintendo console." "Switch." "Wii." "64." "Commodore 64."

"If you could describe your dick with one movie title, what would it be? Mine is Iron Giant." "Stuart Little." "Monster's Inc." "Hey, Morgie, what about you? Pandemic?" "Finding Nemo." "Mouse hunt."

"Anything's a toy if you're brave enough." "Woody's got wood."

"There's a lot of things to keep up with." "I stopped trying, honestly."

"I'm terrible at memory. And no, it's not because of the drugs."

"So when the police come in and ask, 'Why the fuck are you screaming,' you can say, 'I'm passing a kidney stone!'"

"Why am I here?" "Because this is the podcast." "Is this the podcast prototype?"

"I'm underage." "Oh fuck. Wait, I'm underage too. Two negatives make a positive, right?"

"Atomic's some kind of meth dealer, I swear to god."

"My mineshaft led into someone else's mineshaft." "That does not sound appropriate."

"How to taekwon-go-kill-yourself."

"You ever bite in a sandwich so hard you break a universe in half?"

"If I don't have my daily dose of weed, I'm gonna die."

"He starts eating it while they're beating him." "Avocado gone wild."

"If you're black, never date a white girl with a police officer for a father."

"I heat it up, then I smash it with a hammer."

"I should record myself eating meat and send it to her."

"My favourite thing to do on April Fools is to ban Chackas."

"You know how many swastikas have appeared all over our school? And it's all [Bossman's] doing."

"Hit me up with the details and I'll just sneak in there and draw swastikas."

"Are we all killing Chackas?" "Yes." "I'm getting my sharpness 5 sword then."

"Taijutsu the knot and karate kick the chair."

"Why do you want a llama?" "Because they're excellent spitters."

"Oh, King's back." "Fuck."

"Don't you wish your girl was dead?"

"Watermelons are like carrots, but they're not like carrots."

"With the snap of a string, I could end an entire man's existence."

"They put a no-fly zone on it." "I'm gonna fly over it."

"What do we gotta do to prove our point?" "We blow up an oil tanker with no casualties."

"You ever think the media blamed Fortnite on ISIS?"

"I heard we were doing ISIS educations, and I wanted to join."

"Kite, can you scream like a girl?" "I can't, because my dad...fuck, he's upstairs."

"Kite, is your phone on speaker?" "I'm afraid to answer that question." "Ah, fuck it." [Cue heavy blowing from Evil.]

"I said 'The monkey is a man.' What else did you think I meant?"

"Alright, everyone, you're going to all die by the end of this."

"How did we go from dog role play to this?" "How did we even start dog role play?"

"Alright, I'll be the domestic dog. That's how it started."

"The problem is that you let us join in."

"And the dog role play became Bobby Wasabi's wedding." "Wait, no, it was dog role play, then AppleBee's role play, then Bobby Wasabi's wedding, and Vector was crucified somewhere in there."

"If I wanted to do autism RP, I'd just play Breach normally."

"Boots is a man. The monkey is a man."

"I un-deafen in Discord, and you all are doing dog role play."

"This is like mom and dad all over again." "I think this D Class is retarded. Gas him." "Mom, it's not that small." "Wait, that's East Wing." "What's in East Wing?" "Researchers." "Fuck."

"Dude, I've seen some shit, don't go in there." "What's going on in there?" "Well, we let a D Class in one of the researcher bathrooms. Do you know how sexually frustrated researchers here are?" "No...?"

"I'm starting the new day at my new job...what the fuck is that?"

"Does Zipperhead sound like retard?" "That sounds like me at Counter Strike, not gonna lie."

"He's a gay, and he's a priest." "And he's black." "And he lives in Florida. How much more can he be for a target of a drive-by?"

"How do I be a Xy?" "Just be gay and make sure you know what you're talking about."

"Does King sound like Nooby?"

"I'm being given money and I don't understand why."

"Hey Cd, want to join a bunch of strange strangers just so you can get free money?"

"Olive oil tends to give me amnesia."

"You know I have a grill, right?" "You said that like you never had a girlfriend before."

"What do you guys think it feels like to be pressure cooked?"

"You can't hold a brain for 3 seconds, otherwise you'd leave imprints in it." "Ooh, I want to try that."

"Why is there a Mexican mariachi band in the garage?" "Well son, I keep them there for...special purposes."

"It gives me a few reasons as to why I shouldn't go to Japan and use a train."

"You bring a black person into the room and every Japanese person would leave. Or take pictures of them."

"I'm going to shoot you with this gun. In case that wasn't clear enough, this will kill you." "Oh, sweet."

"I have the attention span of a goldfish."

"Kitty, you're the primary reason I'm gonna crush my skull with my own thighs."

"I like this game, it's so calming. It's like Bob Ross." "This is not calming. It makes me mad."

"It's soothing, I don't know what you're talking about." "That's why I'm mad, it's too soothing."

"You want sushi? I got sushi." "Ok, I'm not that Asian."

"If you thought Hitler was the whitest person, have you ever been in Hot Topic before?"

"I somehow managed to cut my ear with my razor." "Are you stupid?" "Do you even shave?"

"Nooby's not a murderer, he's just really passionate about his van."

"He's throwing a knife at me." "I'm a girl." "Fuck you anyways."

"Hey Kaito, do we have to try? Never mind, I'm dead."

"No please, I'm gay."

"I like how I made it further than Aqua, and I died first."

"Why didn't we take the short way?" "Because we're retarded, what do you think?"

"Remember, Hotline Miami music is how you go."

"Don't charge me, I'm gay."

"I feel like Kaito is the reason the other team lost."

"Son, there's only one way to deal with bullies. Get a gun, and shoot up the school."

"Jokes on you, I'm white, I can't be arrested."

"Can you guys stop shooting me in the face?" "We all love shooting each other though."

"So are you making fun of an autistic person?" "Aren't you the one making fun of a deaf person?"

"I'm gonna pull a North Korea. You know what that is? It's where I try to make nuclear weapons, fail, go to the U.S, say 'Hey, want a peace treaty' and 'Can I have some money,' and go back to being on bad terms with the U.S."

"Gary's the reason Xy is autistic."

"My name is Kaito, and dogs are not my speciality."

"Wait a minute, she's your girlfriend." "And?"

"Morgie, how did you die?" "I looked away and a balloon killed me."

"Morgan, get ready, the round is starting." "But I'm on Tinder."

"I don't wanna get high, I wanna set my enemies on fire."

"I just got killed by a b-hopping 066."

"Hey sisters." "I hate you. I hate you immensely."

"If Kite was online, I'd stick it in him too. Anyways what was the password again?"

"How do I kill Rae?"

"Yeah, Kite's drunk, watching porn, and uh..."
"Why is Ram Ranch recommended to me?"
"Why is Ram Ranch under heavy metal?"
"Because it is heavy metal."
"I'm gonna listen to this."
"I swear, my pants were just on."
"You bombed me twice."
"Yeah, you want a third one?"
"You say that like it hasn't happened already."
"Alright, so I do agree with killing Wolfblade."
"I want to find a way to violate my ancestors, not in a sexual way, but in a spiritual way. Spiritual violation."(edited)
"Kite, I have a question. Do you fondle children?"
"What, no."
"He does."
"Every time a baby gets born, Kite's there to fondle it."
"Kite's an omni-dimensional kid fondler."
"My little sister called me a disappointment."
"'Asian angry mad noises.' Thank you subtitles."
"Are you so drunk that you forgot you had logs?"
"Stop speaking nuclear reactor."
"They call me Mr. Nuke Twice."
"We need to go find him."
"But he's dead now."
"We need to go back in time and finish the job."
"That is one of my people, I don't really care anymore."
"Name one thing that can survive 12 bullets."
"Humans, sometimes."

"Asians and E-girls is the next song of my band."

"I need more hot Germans in my life."

"You sound like the first Xbox mic." "So I sound like Kite."

"Everyone is lesbian until proven not lesbian."

"Splatoon is Vietnam."

"Mandy, you wanna get a taste of my mustard gas, yo?"

"I want to hear a role play between Goofy and Irwin."

"We went from Irwin to white girls."

"I like my tea with mustard gas on the lid."

"We will build the Nazi empire that Hitler envisioned."

"Black people are inferior, yo." "Ok, Rae, no."

"Using that katana made me feel like a crappy Genji main."

"I hate the way she looks." "I say the same about every Asian I know."

"I will beat your mom to death."

"In order for Kite to work, he must remove the d, as usual."

"Wait, how old are you?" "16." "Oooh...I gotta get out of here."(edited)

"Why do we have two girls in here? I don't like that."

"Please do not play wedding songs. That gives me Vietnam flashbacks."

"Chro, you're now married to Xy." [Chro leaves.] [Chro comes back.] "I got the restraining orders."

TheJitFace · May 28, 2019

bRuh

~~nblock~~ · May 28, 2019

1 hour ago, TheJitFace said:

bRuh

huRb

Qas · May 28, 2019

oh I'm not a thing anymore

sad

im not inactive you are · May 29, 2019

you should see @mario_the_man's signature, he has (or used to have) all the shit I've said. Funny as fuck.

also you forgot @Zero says "htis" instead of this

Random Noise · May 29, 2019

5 minutes ago, TheSadBandit said:

you should see @mario_the_man's signature, he has (or used to have) all the shit I've said. Funny as fuck.

also you forgot @Zero says "htis" instead of this

yes

V