Jump to content

MysticDovahkin

Member
  • Posts

    19
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • SteamID

    76561198289789558

Posts posted by MysticDovahkin

  1. so, im a 17 yo guy, and for looks im around a 7/10 to 7.5/10, im still a virgin (this story is a meme) ive had a few girlfriends but we only did fingering and getting hj's, i was dating this 8/10 really nice girl and was with her for about 5 months, she is also a virgin with even less experince then me, one day i decided to invite her over, no parents for the weekend, she said yes pick me up at 7 blah blah, im getting laid tonight i thought, i run to the movie store and pick up clash of titans which just gave me the best idea ever. it just  came out on dvd and i watch it before she comes over with the idea in my head, i pause at the best moment, and shut my tv off not the player so i can turn it on whenever, we got at my house me and her, we grab some beers and my dad says only i can have them but my girl gets them too, like he will notice, she gets drunk slowly, i cut the bullshit and say i want her, she replies i want you too ;) and giggles, "fuck she is done" we start kissing and it gets really hot, eventually i end up in only pants and she in only underwear, i feel her hard start touching my dick, my master plan commences, i turn on the tv and she doesnt notice the immage coming on, the volume is at max, i pull out my dick and press play on the dvd player remote, you hear Liam Nelson yelling "RELEASE THE KRACKEN" at a million decibals, and i give my gf the biggest dickslap in all history, she falls down off the couch and starts running, MFW she dumps me

    -credit to reddit

  2. well, this topic is just the topic of the dreams

    10) write a short essay on your life expectancy and tell jokes about how your dad f*cks dogs

    9) play russian roulete with a shotgun

    8) legally change your name to bill clintion, go on pornhub and say "I would have sexual relations with that women"

    7) read every single pornhub comment

    6) look up 3 random words on pornhub watch the first video that pops up

    5) make holocaust jokes, anne frankly this one is pretty  optional, expecally since you'd nazi that coming

    4) make your own list and STOP READING MINE BECAUSE IM JUST WRITING TO WRITE

    3) challenge yourself to watch horders and record the time it takes to start cleaning your place

    2) watch "intervention" and see peoples reaction when they realize this isnt a movie about their life, no your on intervention, OHHH ID NEVER EXPECT

    1) when admitting your bisexual, go to a parking lot, and park really badly, make it super uneven, then have people with you and say loudly "this parking job is as straight as i am"

     

    Im doing this kind of thing tell i get staff votes

  3. HEY KIDS, today on teeeeeeeeeeeeellitubbies crazy talk show ill be showing you the TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU WAIT FOR ADMINS/STAFF TO VOTE

    10) Suck alot of d*ck for crack money, that sh*t aint cheap

    9) Write a stupid document about 10 things you can do while you wait, OH WAIT

    8) Talk to FX about memes, tell kite he is a cuck, and have weird relations with XY (mind this is all a joke just like my finacial situation)

    7) buy a horse mask, take off your shirt and get an airhorn, walk into mcdonalds and yell FREE P*SSY RIOT ( i did this one, and the manager sat me down and threated me about dunking my hand in the oil used to cook fries no joke)

    6) In all servers type in chat #TeleForAdmin because he is a fag without a life no jk dad

    5) apply for stem cell research

    4) find out your dad was fired from work for having sex with his pacients ( he was an amazing veterenarian)

    3) Find videos online and put spongebob music over it, like a feminist fight or something i dont know, im not the father

    2) Pull a kurt Cobaine

    1) play guitar because you slowly realize you have mesophemioma

     

    i hope you enjoyed my list, im just killing time because i slowly want to become an admin

    *drops mic*

     

     

×
×
  • Create New...