Now I didn't originally want to create a topic about this however I feel it's right to let some people know whats going on in my life as I recently decided to take a break due to a personal issue of mine. On June 23rd I rushed my mother into A&E as she had a huge swelling on her foot and was struggling to breathe. I sat there for what felt like eternity waiting for any sort of results as to what is going on with my mother. We discussed the possibility that her anemia was the main cause of this but that was never proven true. Two days later my auntie came over to tell me something that no one should ever have to hear in their life. "They've found lumps in her neck, chest and lower abdomen." At that point I lost it and decided to call it quits on GFL knowing that the possibility that Cancer is the factor lead me to believe I didnt have much time with her left. Whilst I visited her in hospital my family which is very split had to all visit her which let to a lot of inner conflict and my mother being in a lot of emotional pain because of it yet they still decided to carry on with their pathetic behaviour. A few more weeks go by and she looks a lot better after they pump her with 6 blood bags to bring her blood levels up to normal level. Previously it sat at 60 which is dangerously low for someone (The average is around 200). Once they was able to retain a steady blood level she was allowed to leave which was only the start of my concerns. She began to slowly get sick again and I knew at that point it had to be Cancer. My worst fears were confirmed four days ago when she woke me up sat me down with my brother and told me she had lymphoma (cancer). At that point I felt like someone had just stabbed me in the heart and twisted the knife around till I couldn't handle it any longer and it felt like the world was just punishing me for no reason at all. I've been at an all time low lately and with my GCSE results coming around a day later I was in a lot of distress.
I arrived at my school to expect the worst results you could imagine, not enough grades to get into sixth form and it would result in me going to a really terrible college and literally failing at life. I walked in grabbed my results and with my friends I decided to say "fuck it" and opened it up to see that I achieved really high grades for what I expected. Out of 10 GCSEs I could of have passed I passed 8 at a level 5 and above (high C, low B considered a strong pass in the new grading system). I only needed five GCSEs to get into the sixth form I wanted and I had achieved 8 instead. This had really lifted my spirit and has been the force to keep me pushing and hoping for the greater good. I've also found out that the cancer my mother has is a slow one which is fortunate but she is getting the lump in her neck removed midway through September and is then starting chemo to kick cancers ass for good I hope. You would always hear the unfortunate events that others face when it comes to cancer but you never think it would happen to someone close to you and with me living with my mother and my dad living further north It's been very hard with this news as if I lose her I practically lose everything. So to sum up the whole post the past three months have been the worst in my life so far. I just hope the outcome of this is a good one.
Thanks for reading,
Your home boi Rick