Funny Jokes

[ZombieSurvivalist 99 / 5,250]

Please comment what's your funniest joke. Mine is, How do you embaress a archeologist? You give him a used tampon, and ask him which period came from.

[Eli 708 / 11,586]

My life 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

someone had to do it

Edited September 13, 2017 by Eli

[Unknown 533 / 9,227]

16 minutes ago, Eli said:

My life 

That's fuckin' dark. You got shit to live for <3.

 

What do you call a puppy with a stutter? A putter (Terrible joke but I wanted to include one in this post)

[JerryBomb 452 / 9,302]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck in the front of his pants. The bartender says "Hey pirate! Why is the steering wheel there?" The pirate replies "Argh, it's driving me nuts!"

 

 

 

 

[Jat 476 / 11,367]

This is my famous joke on Gmod Jailbreak that I got @DoctorDJ to laugh at on every joke day when he was warden:

 

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

[Quint 213 / 5,877]

On 9/12/2017 at 7:06 PM, JerryBomb said:

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck in the front of his pants. The bartender says "Hey pirate! Why is the steering wheel there?" The pirate replies "Argh, it's driving me nuts!"

 

 

 

 

Uncharted 4 had the same joke.

[lionthezion 8 / 1,812]

"Science flies you to the moon, Religion flies you into buildings." 

[nyfox12 4 / 1,676]

When you see a jackass park his car on the lines or in two spots at once,  I tend to write on a sticky note the following:

 

"Hey man Im sorry I thought I could squeeze into this spot, but I accidentally scratched your car, I think you could get it out with some solution and light buffering for less than $100 so theres no need for me to exchange any information, again sorry about that."

 

Then sit back and watch the dude circles his car for twenty minutes looking for the scratch.

Edited September 19, 2017 by nyfox12

[TheLastBee 310 / 6,301]

On 9/12/2017 at 8:10 PM, Eli said:

My life 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

someone had to do it

Saddest joke I've ever seen.