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Cassie

Duc's after break musings

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Posted  Edited by Duc2000 - Edit Reason: who is the retard that made C: turn into an emoji

Brief Introduction

I took a two-week break from GFL recently. I didn’t really announce it except for in breach and to the mods team, so I doubt anyone noticed. But I took that break to focus on AP Exams and my own mental health. So here’s all that occurred during my hiatus:

 

School

I took 5 AP Exams and wrote an academic research paper. I had 6 total AP Classes this year—Physic C Mechanics, Calculus BC, Psychology, Research, US History, and English Language and Composition. If you’ve never heard of an AP class, it’s essentially a college level class taken in high school. The exams this year were done online, were 45 minutes long, and most consisted of a single question. A year of teaching boiled down to one question that will be graded on a 5 point scale with no feedback. It wasn’t exactly desirable. However, for AP Research, I only had to do the paper rather than also make a presentation, which was nice.

 

I’m now finished with my junior year of high school. To be honest, it’s rather anticlimactic. I didn’t get to have any fun after finishing those exams and I didn’t get to say goodbye to my senior friends, my amazing teachers, and my not so amazing teacher (they were bad at teaching physics). I just finished the exams and then stood up from my desk, alone.

 

Next year, I’ll be taking 6 more AP classes, but I honestly don’t know who I’ll be around. One of my best friends was a senior. We weren’t close in the way that best friends usually are, but I spent three years with him before school and during lunch, playing games in the media center. Our connection was through those games and through the random jokes we made while driving off campus to get food. And that connection ended with the closing of school. The files on our computers would be reset, removing any trace of us playing games there. It’s not that I’ll never see him again; we are still going to meet a bit, but those seemingly endless days of playing games are over.

 

I also had several friends in other classes, including a girl and a guy who I liked. I wasn’t really close friends with them, but I had hoped I might have had a chance with at least the girl if the school year kept going. Now I don’t know how much I’ll see them: during senior year, a lot of people either do externships or dual enroll, and I’m doing neither. All of this sounds a little sad, but I’m not hurt that much by it. It’s how school always end up being. You make friends, people who you talk to because you’re in the same class. You talk about the teacher being bad or the work being hard or you just make a lot of jokes. In the end, I wasn’t really close with anyone at school, and they’ll become memories that I’ll think of fondly. I might wish it wasn’t so, but as introverted as I am, it’s difficult to try and connect with people without school to connect us.

 

Writing

I decided to start writing some fiction. After a year of writing nonfiction essays and FRQs, it was nice to just write something enjoyable. Not that I don’t enjoy essays, but this is exciting in a different way. I wasn’t writing to argue; I didn’t have to make my language sophisticated; I wrote a story I liked with a lot of dialogue. In fact, the stories I wrote were quite amateur, which almost disappointed me, but I haven’t written that much before, so it’s to be expected. I do eventually want to write a book, but that’s not my primary goal in life.

 

Mental Health

I struggled with my mental health a bit over the break. That was one point of it, after all. I felt an enormous amount of stress this school year, mostly due to physics. Just before AP Exams started I felt that I had reached the exhaustion stage of stress, which is not a good place to be in when you’re about to deal with more stress in the form of exams that could give you college credit if you succeed on them. So I separated myself from GFL and didn’t play games with friends every night like I used to. I believe it helped a lot. I’m glad I took the break. I had some depressive moments. I finally was able to talk to my parents about it and ask them about seeing a doctor. Now right here, I have to give a warning: I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor or even close to an expert on the subject. Everything I say here is based on my subjective experience.

 

I took so long to tell my parents I was feeling depressed for a few reasons. The first was that I wasn’t sure if it really was a clinical issue—I do believe it is now. The second reason is that I was worried about how they would act and feel towards me, and about how others would as well. To put it bluntly, I don’t want pity. I don’t want to be cared about a lot more, for people to act like I need extra attention or aid over this. I was finally able to tell them yesterday, and so far, they have treated me differently. It’s not to an extreme, though, and I believe it will go away in time. I tried to make something clear though: I don’t really want to talk to a therapist or about my thoughts at all. In my eyes, the thoughts I’ve had are illogical and based on a biological imbalance, possibly a low level of serotonin in my brain, and so I believe taking medication is the best way to help me. Again, I will state that I am not a medical professional and have yet to see a doctor, but this is just what feels right to me. Consult your own doctor if you need help.

 

Anime

I watched a lot of anime. I started and finished all of SAO, another anime called Guilty Crown, and another one called Orange. I enjoyed all of them, especially SAO, though I did have some critiques for Guilty Crown. Also, I rewatched Your Lie in April because I love it so much. I also got my mom to watch it with me this time, lmfao. She seemed to enjoy it some. 

 

Piano

I’ve started practicing the piano a lot more. I’ve played it for 11 years now, but for a bit I wasn’t practicing as much as I should have. This year I’ve started practicing it more. Due to schools closing, I had more free time and ended up playing a lot more, though I didn’t play for most of the day because my dad has to work from home and works right next to the piano room.

Now that I’m completely done with school, I’m going to be practicing about 2 or 2.5 hours a day. I ordered a A-Z binder organizer so I can finally organize all my music. I’ll post some pictures when I do. “What songs am I playing right now?” I can hear you asking. Well, it’s proably “cAn YoU pLaY tHiS yOuTuBeR’s CoVeR oF tHiS aNiMe ThEmE?” but I’m going to answer that by saying what songs I’ve been playing/memorizing:

  • I’ve been focusing on Patrik Pietschman’s cover of Toss a Coin to Your Witcher. I played it for a good half hour today, working on some rough patches. I plan to memorize it once I’m done.
  • I’ve also been focusing on Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin. I’ve been trying to speed it up, but it does sound rather rough. I also plan to memorize it.
  • I’ve begun to learn Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy, . It looked easy at first glance, but there are some rough patches to smooth out. I’ll memorize it as well (If you couldn’t tell, I’m just going to try to memorize all the new pieces I learn).
  • I’ve started working again on Jarrod Radnich’s Virtuosic Pirates of the Caribbean piece (can be found here: https://youtu.be/n4JD-3-UAzM) It’s a rather difficult piece that I “learned”, by which I mean I played it slower than the arranger intended and ignored errors. Now I’m fixing those errors and returning it to normal speed, but oh boy is it difficult.
  • I have memorized Invention 8 by Bach and continue to refine it to try to make it smooth. It’s really annoying in that I know what my fingers need to do, but they just occasionally don’t. Here’s someone playing it so you can imagine the pain: https://youtu.be/31nLua3FMMw
  • Today, I got my dad to buy me Patrik Pietschamn’s cover of Time by Hans Zimmer, from the inception soundtrack. It’s not that difficult of a piece (compared to some of his other covers), but I love it a lot. Here’s a link to it: https://youtu.be/b8HVQtIoBYU
  • I also got my dad to buy me Jonny May’s ragtime cover of Wake Me Up by Avicii, which is incredible and incredibly difficult. It’s a good thing I’ll be playing for about 2 hours every day now… Anyways, here's a link to it: https://youtu.be/Bv0NDgCzl6U
  • I’ve gotten the sheet music for Liebislied (Love’s Sorrow), Rachmaninoff’s piano version of Kreisler’s piece. It’s a little difficult and I haven’t worked on it much.
  • I got the sheet music for Chopin’s Op. 25 No. 11 “Winter Wind”, which is an amazing piece but also extremely hard to play. I’m not skilled enough for it yet, which is yet more reason to play for 2 hours a day.
  • I have memorized Fur Elise and keep playing it as extra practice.
  • I have memorized The Piano Guy’s cover of Perfect by Ed Sheeran and continue to play it because I love it and want to make it perfect.
  • I have memorized River Flows in You and keep playing it to keep it sharp.
  • I have a few easy songs memorized that I play as warmups.
  • I have played a lot of songs as well (I've played for 11 years, of course I've played a lot) that I now can play without having to sight read, but I don't regularly play them.

To conclude this lengthy piano section, I have one thing to say: my fingers hurt.

 

Random Stuff

I finally ordered a VR headset, the Oculus Quest. It won’t be here for another month. I’d probably get it quicker if I drove to the warehouse myself, but I haven’t found a road that leads to China yet.

 

I’ve watched a ton of clips from old episodes of “Whose Line is it, anyways?”, especially hoedown and Irish drinking song clips. They’re amazing.

 

I listened to a lot of songs on Spotify. I went through several favorite songs through the past two-weeks. I listen to a lot of instrumentals, including, movie soundtracks, classical piano, anime songs on piano, and piano covers of songs. I also listen to a random assortment of songs with lyrics.

 

Conclusion

And with that, it’s time for concluding thoughts. I enjoyed the break I took a look immensely. It helped my focus on those exams (I’ll share my scores when they come out in mid-July) and on doing stuff I enjoyed and on that pesky mental health. Side question: did anyone actually read all of this? I hope so, despite it's length. I still plan to be in GFL and try help out breach. There’s changes and additions to the game people want, and I’ll work on giving them. But I’ve made plenty of posts were I said, “I want to be active and to try to be better” and it didn’t work out that well. I can see a future in which I decide to resign from GFL and just hang around, but it won't be a for a little bit.

 

Edited by Duc2000
who is the retard that made C: turn into an emoji

“I was so good at being a kid, and so terrible at being whatever I was now.”
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

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Good to see you back mate, hope the break helped you and your mental health


𝓚𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓼𝓮𝓭𝓭

Qualified gamer and professional moron

Admin on Breach (loony bin)

                                         
         

 

 

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I've just started The Witcher and I'm enjoying the show so far :) was happy to see it on your list of songs.

 

Ooooh physics.  That's a hard class. I think it's one of those classes that no person in the world can really teach it without criticism.  I already finished my bachelors in electrical engineering and I still struggle when I review those topics, and I would put money on it that I'm considered pretty good in that domain (my employer does).  It's fun anyways.  I hope you at least enjoyed it despite the possible stress.

 

Ouch with those AP classes.  The high school I attended they were just introducing AP and Honours while I was there and I took a few that were available.  The class for Calculus BC didn't exist yet although the exam was there, and our professor kindly lectured what they could during lunch.  It was a real special treat.  I failed English :( the university equivalent was much easier in my opinion (more fair and practical too).

 

Good stuff!  Great to take a break.  Great work getting through it all!  We're in such tough times.


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22 minutes ago, Joshy said:

Ooooh physics.  That's a hard class. I think it's one of those classes that no person in the world can really teach it without criticism.  I already finished my bachelors in electrical engineering and I still struggle when I review those topics, and I would put money on it that I'm considered pretty good in that domain (my employer does).  It's fun anyways.  I hope you at least enjoyed it despite the possible stress.

Yeah, I actually really enjoyed physics whenever I did it right. I'll probably take it in college again and if I enjoy it, I might consider a career/major in it.


“I was so good at being a kid, and so terrible at being whatever I was now.”
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

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1 hour ago, Duc2000 said:

I’ve also been focusing on Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin. I’ve been trying to speed it up, but it does sound rather rough. I also plan to memorize it.

Oh yeah! I've been playing that for a while and it's super fun to play. 100% go for it.

(I don't mean to just focus in on that one thing out of a huge post but that's what I had a comment on)

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43 minutes ago, Duc2000 said:

Yeah, I actually really enjoyed physics whenever I did it right. I'll probably take it in college again and if I enjoy it, I might consider a career/major in it.

 

I think Major Push is majoring in that or it sounded like that the last time I recall.  They might be a good person to talk to (hopefully I'm not putting information they didn't want on blast).  I know you're not asking, but you're always welcome to reach out to me especially on electromagnetism (my favourite).

 

I'll be a little bit cruel and suggest you pursue engineering instead if you are considering physics.


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3 hours ago, Duc2000 said:

 

 

Random Stuff

I finally ordered a VR headset, the Oculus Quest. It won’t be here for another month. I’d probably get it quicker if I drove to the warehouse myself, but I haven’t found a road that leads to China yet.

 

 

 

This road tends to work, Rainbow Road Through the Years | Feature | Prima Games


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Wait, Calculus in High School?? I only saw calculus in University!

I don´t know you a lot, but nice to see you back, I have a piano in my house but I don´t know how to play, I wish I knew, it sounds so much fun :/

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