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JuicyBenny's TTT Rotation Mute/Ban Appeal

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As mentioned on our DMs, this will be voted by the Staff team. Staff members are free to answer and give their thoughts/opinions and ask away questions (in this post). The voting will be open for the next 14 days.

 

Members can also ask Staff members to ask questions, but do NOT post it here (for members) unless you are adding evidence to support either Juicy's or a Staff's argument or to bring to light something that is important for the appeal.

 

Cheers!


 

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@Ash-'s opinion on gmod: 

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I'm aware of what Pyros said, but I feel like somebody needs to say this. 

 

This appeal is a chore to read at best and is extremely uninviting to anyone who isn't determined to actually read it all, or even bits of it. I know a majority of people might not read it and only post their opinions, which is fine, but it's clear you spent a good chunk of time writing all of whatever this is out. Regardless of of how you format it, it's always going to be a wall of text, but for everyone else's sake please just remove most, if not all, of the underlining, italicisizing, and bolding from this. This is the equivilent of highlighting the entire textbook when the teacher asks you to mark down the important stuff. I would highly recommend making it not so insane to look at, as people will be much more inclined to actually read what you have to say, which I assume is what you want (The tab insert after every other line is also very off putting). I don't mean to be the english professor turbo loser, but you are actively hurting yourself by doing this.

 

If y'all decide this isn't "worthy" of being a post on a forums then by all means remove it, just trying to help. 


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Achievements

I was told by Pyros to go ahead and publish this here. I realize I'm ousting that I was one of the several people who recorded evidence and submitted it as such against Juicy, but I frankly don't care. Rarely have I seen a player in a community get repeatedly banned for toxicity only to come back after promising to reform and doing it again. At this point, your word is not worth much. You continued to be toxic. You continued to be a menace to the community. You continued your passive aggressive tirades about nothing. You continued to outrage for no reason. 

You should be banned. Heres two of my videos for that reason. 

Zero tolerance rule break: https://streamable.com/33k4qp -- Should have been at least a gag on the spot, but no one likes dealing with Juicy so nothing happened besides a verbal warning. Good example of your typical behavior.

Heres you target bullying a player that you dislike, and encouraging others to bully them. https://streamable.com/9n4vyk

 

I'm only going to post these two. The rest of my evidence was submitted to various staff members throughout your period of being unbanned. I really think you should stay gone. Your behavior when staff are not online is drastically different from when staff are online. 
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Business Kirby

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Steam: Kirby / Discord: Kirby#6049  ----- "Business Kirby doing Business Things."
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Posted  Edited by Avi

I will go ahead and post my opinion publicly. 

In the time I have had to deal with you as staff (and I've only been staff for over a month now), I've seen you cross multiple lines and cause many issues.

There have been several instances where I've joined into the server or Discord, and you've been going off about people I'm friends with, and being disrespectful to a point where it's uncomfortable to be in the same space. I have had to ask you on those occasions to watch what you're saying because it's offensive to them, and occasionally was met with toxicity from you.

Relating to this, I have seen you go off on people, only to make them leave the server because they felt targeted by you.

Other instances I have asked you to have patience when I'm the only staff on handling multiple things at once. One instance I can recall and provide proof was over a person you wanted slain for a report you put in, and you were upset I put your slay on first. I was handling the reports as they came in, and yours was before theirs, and you went off about it. I asked you to have some patience, because you were getting on my nerves, and your response was "never."  

Speaking of reports, you have had a habit of intentionally rdming people because you were upset at something, and have also gone on to be extremely toxic in reports while using words we have banned (i.e. r word).

Overall, I have felt disrespected by you and treated like garbage at times because things weren't done to your liking.  At this point, an apology for any of this doesn't feel genuine. I feel like you're not sorry for what you did, rather sorry that there were consequences for your actions. This appeal feels like it was too soon, and I dont think you're ready for an unban.

 

Edit: I just wanted to add some screenshots in for context now that I have a chance to sit down and do so.  And further edit I won't reword my original statement but "I'm the only staff on handling multiple things at once" should be written to reference there were other staff on but I was the only one handling the reports, the original was just bad wording.

 

These first two screenshots are in reference to handling rdm reports where I asked you to have some patience as I was handling them; includes both the rdm manager and the chat in text chat for reference.  Also add a note that in that situation, you blatantly rdmed a T buddy so that you would look innocent because they shot at someone when you were nearby; there are a lot of different ways you could have gotten out of that situation but you chose to rdm him instead.

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An instance where I asked you to watch what you're saying.  This situation you completely mistook what was going on, then went out of your way to make them uncomfortable enough to leave, then talked shit about them when they left.  You claimed "targeting" but they were just playing the game.  I almost completely forgot you told me to tell my friend that you hate them for you.  Saying "mission accomplished" because you got him to leave was completely uncalled for, and calling him a cunt was just blatantly disrespectful.  I asked you to be respectful and your attitude towards me after that was disgusting.

Second screenshot is in reference to the same day, calling the same person the R word in a report.

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I know there are other screenshots I have that show you rdm quite a bit, other instances of rude behavior that aren't discussed here, etc.  I honestly think a long break from the server (and even the forums and discord) will be the only thing beneficial for you at this point, but that's not for me to decide.  It's up to you to take initiative and do what's best for your well being in this community.

 

Edited by Avi

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1 hour ago, Business Kirby said:


Zero tolerance rule break: https://streamable.com/33k4qp -- Should have been at least a gag on the spot, but no one likes dealing with Juicy so nothing happened besides a verbal warning. Good example of your typical behavior.
 

This clip cuts off the first part of this conversation and takes an entire thing completely out of context. I don't remember it fully. granted. But i do remember me responding to heavenly in a joking manor. something along the lines of "The only thing wrong is i'm not gayer" after the clips end. My only assumption is i referenced something in game being "gay".
I'm bi, my friend northern is gay. we make jokes on a consistency. Never have i made homophobic remarks of any serious manor in game.

That is the only feeling i can grant from you stating this is a toxic clip is i am somehow making homophobic impulses when that is very clearly not the case.
 

 

1 hour ago, Business Kirby said:


Heres you target bullying a player that you dislike, and encouraging others to bully them. https://streamable.com/9n4vyk

 

I don't see what amount of encouraging on "bullying" is done here. I don't incite people on harvesting opinions that aren't their's. They are already stating things on their own accord as their opinion shapes.
I'm angry. Quaren is very known for his massive amounts of delays. I am in my full right as a player to be upset over being made to wait cause a player is constantly delaying.
This clip was also past the point of when people got mad at me for asking him to please not delay us. It was generally annoying.
I learned details in private about things post your clip. I understood more but generally i still and still do now get irritated at his delaying and it not really being treated like other players who delay. some not even as much as he does.
However over the past weeks before the ban id say up to a month i had relaxed and actually had some fun with quaren. I find him general fun. When random players had decided to harass him i even stood up for him. Did i get toxic in my attitude to these random players. 100%. However as i said "Quaren is our boy" Ya don't harass the boy.

I will however agree on the fact the way i am portraying these feelings and emotions can come off pretty bad. I coulda left off with an off hand comment and leave it at that but i went on a semi rant. That is my main fault in this clip. I took one drive of rant over just off handing a comment.  It was also unfair to Quaren. I do however remember apologizing and making amends later on. Hence the friendly attitude post.

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Posted  Edited by JuicyBenny - Edit Reason: forgot some notes
27 minutes ago, Avi said:

 I have had to ask you on those occasions to watch what you're saying because it's offensive to them, and occasionally was met with toxicity from you.

I think i remember some of these but i do not in great detail. If it was in voice i might not remember it as much but if it was via and at in game i might remember it better. I think.... now i do remember one. on one of your friends when i was glad they left and you werent happy i was glad they left. Your friend had demonstrated very clear signs of gunning for me for multiple rounds. So much so i even played around to try and see if they were still doing it and they were. I could not tell if they were doing it for fun or not. but their aggression when they rdmed me one of those rounds lead me to not favor that person at all. So i was pleased when they left. Twas i who caused them to leave i dont know? i dont think so. i dont remember interacting with them for a couple of rounds actually almost half a map before they left. Though i can say i would not blame them for not having the best experience with me. i simply treated them as i normally do with people who show the signs of targetting me. I have it happen way way way way too often to me so i know what the signs are. I get targeted everyday. There is a consistency with it.

Granted i dont know if thats the one you are referring too. I cant think of anything ive said thats necessarily offensive. But i do know ive been told to  watch what i say on some occasions. I cannot remember what specifically from you though. not a jab btw i just literally cant remember every instance.

 

27 minutes ago, Avi said:

Other instances I have asked you to have patience when I'm the only staff on handling multiple things at once. One instance I can recall and provide proof was over a person you wanted slain for a report you put in, and you were upset I put your slay on first. I was handling the reports as they came in, and yours was before theirs, and you went off about it. I asked you to have some patience, because you were getting on my nerves, and your response was "never." 

I do remember one instance of this. The one specifically you mentioned i did apologize to you post me getting tilted. I do remember being very unfair in my reaction and you did not deserve that. Ill extend that apology again here. My "never" comment was ment to be comedic. I try to make light of most situations. It might not have been an "im sorry" i mighta said "aight shit my bad" its a common phrase i do for apology. its not great tbh, its something i need to work on honestly.

So i probably said aight shit my bad there we go. or something along those lines and tried to be chill to lighten some mood so responded "never" very quickly on you asking for patience. That mighta been a bad mood. I learned it is hard for people to actually tell if im joking or not cause one minute i can be joking and fun then one second later im heated. or the other way around. Im sorry for that Avi.

Clavers actually commented about that to me before. not your thing. but one with him. Where i was very relentless in a "celebratory" manor about someone getting slayed or rather now im thinking its not a slay happening its like... someone did something that was a slay or... i think i didnt forgive someone and was like saying "oooo das a slaaay" many times and he had let me know that it was irritating, annoying, and generally shitty. I apologized and said my bad. i believe this was in our discord dms.
 

 

27 minutes ago, Avi said:

Speaking of reports, you have had a habit of intentionally rdming people because you were upset at something, and have also gone on to be extremely toxic in reports while using words we have banned (i.e. r word).

On multiple occasions i believe this was the case yes. i was typing how i thought you ment like a revenge rdm thing but re read it and i see what you mean yea that 100% happens a lot. Depending what it is i would lose my temper. Consistency of blocking done ingame or just general annoyance by someone. In some cases they do something that can be regarded kosable and i take my shot cause im "allowed" under rules so i get my frustration out the.... id say proper way but that's not right. The way under the rules, they get got for breaking em and i get a lil cool off. However, thats not most of those cases. Most are getting blocked, pushed, annoyed whatever. Not typically by verbal cues but by ingame aspects a person commits. This is correct and so is the report function. Though i don't... remember doing it to anyone... undeserving? like... ok its bad overall right i get that. totally. not ok at all. but it wasen't typically to someone who just didn't do anything.
It was typically to someone who was already overly toxic to me. I have a tendency to over step when im mad and if someone targets or gets angst at me. I egg them on.
Had an incident actually a week before the ban i think that i had to apologize to alpha cause i did just that... and egged some guys on.
I realized like A. im a piece of shit for the comments i make in those and B. i need to relax and just let yall handle situations. I don't need to fight every battle. cause that's my weakness is i feel the need to fight for myself so i go off cause that's... how i do. its bad....
 

27 minutes ago, Avi said:

Overall, I have felt disrespected by you and treated like garbage at times because things weren't done to your liking.  At this point, an apology for any of this doesn't feel genuine. I feel like you're not sorry for what you did, rather sorry that there were consequences for your actions. This appeal feels like it was too soon, and I dont think you're ready for an unban.

You say no apology but i still extend one regardless. I do know Ive been pretty aggressively unfair to you a lot since you became trial. I did not know how much but i did know enough to leave bad impressions. You did tell me as such before. My demeanor or my tone typically does not shape apologies or genuine statements really well.... cause i'm... eh... id say in a comedic sense where it feels like i might go "my bad" or instead of that make something a funny situation when it actually is not one. Its part coping and part of just how i be. I tried to be harder on my tone so i could discern that but i am still to this day finding a healthy balance with that.
Thank you anyway for your opinion. I respect the openness and again apologize for any indiscretions from my doing

Edited by JuicyBenny
forgot some notes

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Posted  Edited by Business Kirby
2 hours ago, JuicyBenny said:

This clip cuts off the first part of this conversation and takes an entire thing completely out of context. I don't remember it fully. granted. But i do remember me responding to heavenly in a joking manor. something along the lines of "The only thing wrong is i'm not gayer" after the clips end. My only assumption is i referenced something in game being "gay".
I'm bi, my friend northern is gay. we make jokes on a consistency. Never have i made homophobic remarks of any serious manor in game.

That is the only feeling i can grant from you stating this is a toxic clip is i am somehow making homophobic impulses when that is very clearly not the case.
 

ABSOLUTELY NOT. That is a flat lie, do not make me pull my full video and upload it because you better believe I will. You instead said "I can say it that way because I am gay" after being told not to use the term in a derogatory manner. I cut it to that length by request of a specific staff member I was reporting you to. I have this evidence still, and I will go back and upload the whole thing if you continue to lie. You did not reply to her in a joking manner, you were angry that someone did something you don't like.

2 hours ago, JuicyBenny said:

 

I don't see what amount of encouraging on "bullying" is done here. I don't incite people on harvesting opinions that aren't their's. They are already stating things on their own accord as their opinion shapes.
I'm angry. Quaren is very known for his massive amounts of delays. I am in my full right as a player to be upset over being made to wait cause a player is constantly delaying.
This clip was also past the point of when people got mad at me for asking him to please not delay us. It was generally annoying.
I learned details in private about things post your clip. I understood more but generally i still and still do now get irritated at his delaying and it not really being treated like other players who delay. some not even as much as he does.
However over the past weeks before the ban id say up to a month i had relaxed and actually had some fun with quaren. I find him general fun. When random players had decided to harass him i even stood up for him. Did i get toxic in my attitude to these random players. 100%. However as i said "Quaren is our boy" Ya don't harass the boy.


I will however agree on the fact the way i am portraying these feelings and emotions can come off pretty bad. I coulda left off with an off hand comment and leave it at that but i went on a semi rant. That is my main fault in this clip. I took one drive of rant over just off handing a comment.  It was also unfair to Quaren. I do however remember apologizing and making amends later on. Hence the friendly attitude post.

No, Juicy. Your behavior is not because "he delays intentionally". There are other issues there you are very aware of, and it's not his fault yet you continue to harass him. You were told to shut up about it, you were told to stop, and what was your reaction? Wait till staff couldn't hear, and say it. 

Avi got you down to a letter. You aren't sorry for your actions. You're sorry that your actions had consequences. You don't deserve an unban. 

Someone needs to remind everyone how toxic you are. You pretend to be a good boy for about 3 days, then have a month of being an insufferable bastard. You are one of the most toxic players GFL Rotation has seen, and yet you keep coming back.

Edit: I'm not interested in a back and forth. All you're going to do is gaslight whatever argument you have thrown against you. I'm not staff, I don't see their chat. I really hope they review the evidence I sent them directly prior and make the right decision. Your second permaban for being toxic should be your final ban. You got unbanned once for this, promised change, didn't change, and now you promise change again. You cried wolf, and people caught on. 

Edited by Business Kirby

Business Kirby

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Steam: Kirby / Discord: Kirby#6049  ----- "Business Kirby doing Business Things."
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9 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

ABSOLUTELY NOT. That is a flat lie, do not make me pull my full video and upload it because you better believe I will. You instead said "I can say it that way because I am gay" after being told not to use the term in a derogatory manner. I cut it to that length by request of a specific staff member I was reporting you to. I have this evidence still, and I will go back and upload the whole thing if you continue to lie. You did not reply to her in a joking manner, you were angry that someone did something you don't like.

Please do. Id love to take the accountability. Thats what this is about. Like i said before. There are issues i am not fully in remembering what they are about. I can only make inferences of issues i cannot remember. hence saying " I don't remember it fully. granted. But i do remember me responding to heavenly in a joking manor" it was a joking manor. Pretty much majority of it was a joke. Like heavily. As most things have been with me however my tone is confusing at times. Thats a work in progress.

I can assure theres no real feelings. The fact you had to cut to half length by request is a concern. this is about transparency. If i was angry show me. I  cant only recollect from memory you can upload the full clip so do it. That way i can admit i was wrong if im wrong in my understanding of it.

 

13 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

No, Juicy. Your behavior is not because "he delays intentionally". There are other issues there you are very aware of, and it's not his fault yet you continue to harass him. You were told to shut up about it, you were told to stop, and what was your reaction? Wait till staff couldn't hear, and say it. 

Its always been about the delaying. Always has been cause im chill with him literally now. I fucked around with him often after that clip itself aswell. Agian as i mentioend as things were made clear to me after my complaints of his delays which you referred to here "its not his fault" it is his fault he delays dont remove accountability or else staff wouldent tell him to not delay otherwise. He does do it but as said again. there are factors that were explained to me on why he does it. and i relaxed on him. not as much as i should have right away but i eventually did relax more and more as i became more chill with him and others.

I wouldent have defended the man and literally go at guys who were harassing him and targetting him trying to rdm him cause they didnt like him if i had some ever growing hate for the man. i find him enjoyable as hell now. Its the same with marsh. i didnt like marsh at all right away but eventually i opened up to him. hes funny as hell. can get annoying sometimes but overall hes funny as hell.

 

You say i was told to "shut up about it" which i mentioned in the clip. That was before i did know the rest if i remember correctly. if not it was a moment of anger that subsided soon after. to which i apologized to quaren about even days alter. From what i recall i was told to not worry about it. desptite others being warned for doing less delaying than he had. so i took exception. other playres in that game also complained which sparked my rant. which again as i said was unfair and either having the context before or not was a moment of rage which eventually subsided.

18 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

Avi got you down to a letter. You aren't sorry for your actions. You're sorry that your actions had consequences. You don't deserve an unban. 

She got me down very well however i am sorry for them. i wouldent have made apologies before all of this if it wasent for it. Ive made many to people who i was aware i either harmed or hurt their playing experiences prior. wether with attitude or what not. sometimes i would appologize after i kept someones report cause they were getting slayed. i knew tehy were and i had the power to stop it but i feel sometimes its good to get slayed for your actions. never the less i apologized.
Every instance of issues i was aware of i engaged with how i could. if someone didnt want to engage with me theres not alot i can do. if someone makes an unfair assesment not much i can do. Sometimes im not aware and i cant do much but vaguely apologize. Sometimes i am aware and my game driven ego takes over and i dont apologize right away. theres many incidents that are note worthy like this that i already mentioned.

 

 

20 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

Someone needs to remind everyone how toxic you are. You pretend to be a good boy for about 3 days, then have a month of being an insufferable bastard. You are one of the most toxic players GFL Rotation has seen, and yet you keep coming back.

The past 3-4 weeks of rotation before the ban is riddled with "being a good boy" as you put it. The month of returning from my previous perma was very bad i will agree. coming back from where i was trying to adjust, dealing with the hitreg i despised and still dealing with the targetting i usually dealt with and then some of issues the staff are aware of that was alot of heavy harassment towards me. i lost my cool many of times. alot unfairly. the month after was filled with half and half. i was dealing with trynna find ways to not have that anger spill as much as it did. tbh im still working that out. its as simple as stepping away from the game and i actually made a forum post about stepping away from my normal activity to deal with irl things and focuses. but it was also to break from being stresed out from the thing that was supposed to be fun. when the game is making me stressed i know something needs to change yet i kept coming back without figuring it out. so i lowered my activity pretty heavily.

Alot of people know i have my toxic moments and i wont argue the most toxic person as thats based on opinion. If you feel that way i apologize. I know you really dont like me and though i dont know why. your targets against me were very apparent from the start of you not liking me. i noticed them. regardless something made ya want to do that and i see your strong opinion now and i respect the fact your speaking.

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Posted  Edited by Business Kirby
1 hour ago, JuicyBenny said:

The past 3-4 weeks of rotation before the ban is riddled with "being a good boy" as you put it. The month of returning from my previous perma was very bad i will agree. coming back from where i was trying to adjust, dealing with the hitreg i despised and still dealing with the targetting i usually dealt with and then some of issues the staff are aware of that was alot of heavy harassment towards me. i lost my cool many of times. alot unfairly. the month after was filled with half and half. i was dealing with trynna find ways to not have that anger spill as much as it did. tbh im still working that out. its as simple as stepping away from the game and i actually made a forum post about stepping away from my normal activity to deal with irl things and focuses. but it was also to break from being stresed out from the thing that was supposed to be fun. when the game is making me stressed i know something needs to change yet i kept coming back without figuring it out. so i lowered my activity pretty heavily.

Alot of people know i have my toxic moments and i wont argue the most toxic person as thats based on opinion. If you feel that way i apologize. I know you really dont like me and though i dont know why. your targets against me were very apparent from the start of you not liking me. i noticed them. regardless something made ya want to do that and i see your strong opinion now and i respect the fact your speaking.

You're confusing me with someone else. I "targeted" you when it was an easy kill with an instakill weapon. I will admit, to your benefit here, that I watched Pingu play just to figure out his playstyle and used that against you. I crouch spammed and re-shifted my position while not shooting at you when you were a t to intentionally irritate you after you had already been extremely obnoxious. I believe your exact quote was, "I guess I'm just not allowed to have fun when I'm fighting you!". If that's my "targeting" of you, so be it. I can promise you though, I was not the one to target you. 

I don't waste my time breaking rules to go after someone like you. That's what you want. You want to have that evidence against others to prevent them from being able to have substance when reporting you. "Well they're only reporting me because they did this infront of me!". It's called gaslighting. You have nothing on me, because I did nothing to you other than the one time I intentionally irritated you. Better you be mad at me than a younger player who can't handle your obnoxious attitude.

You're too toxic. It's not "on or off" like you think. If you really want to improve, seek professional help. You're a professional victim, you're arrogant, and you're manipulative towards everyone around you. You try to play innocent or gaslight opposing views by "taking the highground" and pretending like you agree, but then trying to paint yourself positively or garner sympathy. 

Do you want to know why I don't like you, Benny? Because I've dealt with people like you for years. It's all too common in garrys mod. I watched you bully players. In the month before I started recording, I constantly DM'd other players asking about you, and asking if this is normal or if you just had a bad day. The answer was that you are always like this. Everyone I talked to agreed. Every. Single. Person. 

I hope you improve. You don't deserve a third chance though.

Edited by Business Kirby

Business Kirby

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IT Certified professional. Advanced Python, C# - Intermediate LUA, GLUA - Proficient/General PHP, HTML, XML 
Steam: Kirby / Discord: Kirby#6049  ----- "Business Kirby doing Business Things."
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1 minute ago, Business Kirby said:

You're confusing me with someone else. I "targeted" you when it was an easy kill with an instakill weapon.

The consistent following around the map for knife kills and you followed and solo jihaded against me on multiple occasions. You forgoe'd grabbing a giant group at the top of teenroom in exchange for jumping down the ramp activating your jihad so you could solely go for me. only me and you died in that instance and you continued such things. This is a method thats been used against me constantly. Infact everytime it happens i would point it out directly. Its no secret solo jihading someone can be interpreted depending circumstances as such that. I have MULTIPLE examples of players doing this to me. It is not new to me and ive made staff aware of them time and time again.

 

 

5 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

I don't waste my time breaking rules to go after someone like you. That's what you want. You want to have that evidence against others to prevent them from being able to have substance when reporting you.

Well i do have the evidence to support multiple claims of people who targeted me. Ive shown them to the staff team when they pop up. i have no issue with it. i make it apparent when such things occur. other wise i dont make a big deal. i even stated so previously if i dont have enough evidence on someone i typically dont do anything. I dont meticulously track your every movement of rules. i dont care. simply i dont care, if i wanted to take every instance i could get every instance very easily if spoted. it is not hard, ive done it before when i was alot more petty in my approaches to rules back a year ago. i try to avoid you. yet i cant. that leads to what you infer from what i want. which is incredibly weird to me.

 

 

9 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

"Well they're only reporting me because they did this infront of me!". It's called gaslighting. You have nothing on me, because I did nothing to you other than the one time I intentionally irritated you. Better you be mad at me than a younger player who can't handle your obnoxious attitude.

You point this out which actually highlights something i did yet was accosted because i aggitated others into coming at me so no one else in teh server would get effected. Aswell thats not gaslighting. gaslighting is a phantom term. If you do something kosable infront of me that is immediately kosable and i kill you that is on you. Im not going to be at fault for playing the rules. Granted i have killed on many occasions when i dont really need to. I can get kill hungry sure thats a bad side but overall its in situations that i know i can get the kill and be fine. Ive used it on many occasions with people who love to fuck with me. Im in my own right to defend myself how i saw fit. Some occasions it worked fine and infact i actually had a fun time with some people who tried to fuck with me and we exchanged bullshit back and forth. other times it ends badly. I do have things on you. Specifically 3 clips i can recall from memory. and 2 others which were removed as when viewing them a while ago i assessed i might have looked at the situations incorrectly and thought it doesent say too much. the 3 others though do provide enough for myself.

 

 

13 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

You're too toxic. It's not "on or off" like you think. If you really want to improve, seek professional help. You're a professional victim, you're arrogant, and you're manipulative towards everyone around you. You try to play innocent or gaslight opposing views by "taking the highground" and pretending like you agree, but then trying to paint yourself positively or garner sympathy. 

You contradict everyone whos played with me. Whos recognized while i have my toxic moments i can also be chill as fuck too or people who think im mostly chill as fuck but can also recognize the fact im not perfect. Im no perfect human being and in no way a victim. Ive yet to show that as ive blamed no one but myself for my own misteps. Infact in areas i coulda blamed anyone else i even took that and said it was failings on two parts when i felt it wasent just on me alone.
Arrogant maybe sometimes sure. I dont really manipulate and i dont have some high ground. Im a member/vip that likes to joke around like my ego is the size of the sun. most people know i do that. but a highground status implies some importance i weigh on me when im really not. im not a staff member and though had an idea of wanting to be one at one point. eventually i wasent interested. If you mean on some moral means. If im right im right. I dont get to be right often so i soak it in. If im wrong im wrong i admit it and move on. Theres no moral highground on that. its called being honest and true.
 

 

18 minutes ago, Business Kirby said:

Do you want to know why I don't like you, Benny? Because I've dealt with people like you for years. It's all too common in garrys mod. I watched you bully players. In the month before I started recording, I constantly DM'd other players asking about you, and asking if this is normal or if you just had a bad day. The answer was that you are always like this. Everyone I talked to agreed. Every. Single. Person. 

So only to people i had a bad day with. Who said im always like this. When i just came back in june. To which again i said in June it was a really bad month. It was a bad time for me to come back and i did anyway and tried to mesh. while the 3-4 weeks before ban was majority all good things.
Aswell it dont add up to complaints. If it was EVERY SINGLE PLAYER who had some issue and im "always like this" why has no one ever said that. Not a single person even made the notion im "always like this" cause the truth is im not. Players who play with me from morning till night can even attest and other players who have known me even longer can attest of me being toxic at times but never all of the time. Infact if it was all of the time it makes zeros sense for me to even be here right now.

As much as i respect your opinion i cant seem to grasp a sense of reality with some of what your are saying, or even a sense of understanding who i am. I dont think youve tried to actual think of me as something else. you slotted me into this group of people you "deal with all the time" and that was that. so even when change showed up you chose to ignore it for past issues.

You have a good amount of truth but i feel its being bloated way bigger than it actually is. Yes i have been toxic many occasions, yes ive been arrogant. But this weird thinking im this crafty evil person manipulating and pulling strings is straight fiction. I wouldent be here in this situation right now. wether that be in a postiive or negative light if these were the case. Staff KNEW what i was doing. they knew i picked reasons to kill. if it was crafted it was cause i was smart. not being able to kos a T but getting them to do something that gives me ample reason is being smart. and people hated me for it so i stopped and then played with 0 care and just to fuck around and people hated it.... theres no winning there.

I still have a long way to go on improving alot of things mentally and socially. That much is true hell i cant say yea in the month of me arguing this shit ive somehow just became infinitely better.
Thats unrealistic. Theres alot attached. But already there is understanding of where i am on different fronts now.

And on the others situations i made unfair and hard. Again im no perfect human being. Ive had my fair share of shit.
More than others. Alot of fuck ups to learn from.

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3 minutes ago, JuicyBenny said:

You have a good amount of truth but i feel its being bloated way bigger than it actually is. Yes i have been toxic many occasions, yes ive been arrogant. But this weird thinking im this crafty evil person manipulating and pulling strings is straight fiction. I wouldent be here in this situation right now. wether that be in a postiive or negative light if these were the case. Staff KNEW what i was doing. they knew i picked reasons to kill. if it was crafted it was cause i was smart. not being able to kos a T but getting them to do something that gives me ample reason is being smart. and people hated me for it so i stopped and then played with 0 care and just to fuck around and people hated it.... theres no winning there.

I still have a long way to go on improving alot of things mentally and socially. That much is true hell i cant say yea in the month of me arguing this shit ive somehow just became infinitely better.
Thats unrealistic. Theres alot attached. But already there is understanding of where i am on different fronts now.

And on the others situations i made unfair and hard. Again im no perfect human being. Ive had my fair share of shit.
More than others. Alot of fuck ups to learn from.

image.png.196c779167c67ed15c24e59b94660fa0.png

It's not a phantom term, its what you do.

I don't want a back and forth, that's not what this was meant to be. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to fall into replying to you. I shouldn't have. That's what I get being sick and opening the forums. 

1. I rarely jihad large groups because my t-buddies have this weird habit of following me. I don't like ruining others t-rounds, but I love my jihad sound. The only person I have ever targeted with a Jihad is Heavenly (and clavers but thats okay). I solo her out specifically. It's an ongoing joke. 

2. Would love to see evidence on me, but it doesn't exist.

3. Not here for another reply. Good luck with your ban appeal, I hope you improve.


Business Kirby

GMOD sourced
IT Certified professional. Advanced Python, C# - Intermediate LUA, GLUA - Proficient/General PHP, HTML, XML 
Steam: Kirby / Discord: Kirby#6049  ----- "Business Kirby doing Business Things."
kirby.jpeg.93aacd3d4bf0975a7efef979ba0d243c.jpeg

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Posted  Edited by JuicyBenny - Edit Reason: Adding files from previous comments.

Er... It's a phantom term cause your using it in a TTT sense. Of course I do that in-game.... It's a game of deception. I'm very good at making people believe in what I'm saying to my ingame advantage. Ask northern,shiny, any regular day player how much shit I get away with cause im convincing. 

 

It doesn't translate in an irl standpoint. It doesn't translate here. I'm honest and straight forward as fuck out of the game. People can form their own opinions without my interference which they have, even friends who disagree with me. We can discuss shit and convince of different choices but in the end it's of volition. Also gaslighting typically is done in a relationship. Or where there's some emotional connection or tie. Yet I don't have that. Because even my closest friends have gone against me multiple times when I've done dumb stupid shit as they should. 

 

Sure I can gladly get that evidence in the afternoon tomorrow when I get home! Very easy(which is now hi welcome to the edit: 1 - <https://streamable.com/em735h> knifing me while next to a detective and around other innos? risky strat, not really trynna play T there hm this is what we call a very common targetting position especially not even attempting to hide the fact what your doing 2 - <https://streamable.com/g9mj51> Not only did you watch me in the smoke for the many seconds before you stalked me out specifically away from the group at the top. thats not avoiding your T buddies either, you give a warning in chat and some time regardless. if they ignore it its not on you. either way the excuse of "i like the sound" is not valid especially when we can watch your intentions. 3 - <https://streamable.com/ma816y> once again theres 0 people around. No attempt to even play the game theres a goal in mind. As with the other case aswell (as a side note theres a 4th of you shooting someone a single time. stopping not killing him when hes inno. you realise im in a hall alone at first but that other dude stuck around and you jihaded immediately. i had my back turned to you. Part of me wants to add that but another part says it doesent show that much of the intention as the other 3 do. Before thats noted as not evidence what so ever and thats me picking and choosing let me remind these are the same exact actions others who have targetted me and have been punsihed WHICH YOU ARE AWARE OF CAUSE YOUVE BEEN THERE FOR THAT BEFORE. This is not some new shadowed incident this is something that is very common for people to do it me. Other players have the same exact targetting done to them by others.) Also this is kinda allowed to be back and forth. People give their stances with evidence or things to help the case or hurt and I'm allowed to engage that. Me not being able to engage in this shit caused some of the problems in the first place *some* not all but there's a few. 

 

 

Edited by JuicyBenny
Adding files from previous comments.

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Might as well talk about my experience.
Yeah, we got along in game, I try and get along with everyone. That doesn't mean that I am ignorant of what you've done.

 

Lets start with the day of you getting unbanned. Everything was good. We were okay. Then the very next day, you started going off at Paul for changes to the server. Straight up attacking. And when told to chill out, you accuse the server of being a hugbox and that your toxicity isn't actually toxic.

 

You have a complete disregard for the rules. That doesn't mean you don't follow them, I mean that you tend to break them when staff aren't on or you think they're not paying attention. Here's an example: I got on because I saw some toxicity happening, where you told someone "Don't ask retarded questions". You know the r word is banned on Rotation, so I muted you for 1 hour for it. You then tried to lie to me about saying it. Here's an image for reference:

unknown.png.6de95d6e34677eefd5a41db9fd43ce33.png

I then took it to dms to show the chat log of you saying it. This was your response:

Capture.PNG.14c46256817c5339e24f9137b7d429ac.PNG

So, not only did you break the rules, you then tried to lie about it and then not even apologize for it. There are more examples but they're not mine to give, they're others.

 

Your toxicity has lead to multiple people leaving the server, and you don't feel any little bit apologetic, you seem to only want the names of them to explain why they may feel that way, rather than wanting to make things right.

 

We've been over this song and dance already, you've apologized for everything and went right back to attacking everyone. Why should we trust this will be any different?

 

I'm for keeping the ban, we don't need the gaslighting, abuse or toxicity back on the server.

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Achievements

1 hour ago, Duck. said:

you started going off at Paul for changes to the server. Straight up attacking. And when told to chill out, you accuse the server of being a hugbox and that your toxicity isn't actually toxic.

You boxed him in with sincerities on criticism. All i did was offer my opinion on things. My distaste for the hitreg especially. I also felt disrespected as did some others when he had said we didnt know what we were talking about. When its a collection of players who have decent aim and even warned me coming back that the hitreg was fucked. My goal was to attempt to find that.

If you mean server changes as a whole yea. i didnt like them at first. ive been gone 8 months and i have my own preference and tastes. I didnt know i wasent allowed an opinion but theres no attacking. Its general criticism. i call things as they are. Was i aggressive? yes. Thats the theme you see is im aggressive in my approaches. ITs a downside and an upside. i can snooker one person but another case its unadded aggression which makes it worse.
I called it more hugboxy than a furry server because any sense of criticism or debate/conversation with two opposing views you all classified as "drama" despite no drama taking place and i couldent even get my own points across. they were ignored completely without consideration. i was shushed and put into the "old man yells at cloud" montra.
I invited myself into the debates but how can one not be hard done when my attempt to help is met with that. Also my "toxcicity" here was just on a means of tone policing me and my already labeled aggression. Yet there was other staff on occasions who had to apologize to me when i had to explain a rule thing to paul and got punished for something that wasent what he said it was.
Also me and paul id say are chill as of recent when he was active as hes MIA now. You forget once we got the spray dilema relaxed i actually took two to three maps just talkin about sprays with him and Random. Further more desptie me hating the gun changes i was open to them. i openly complained but you need feedback.
Me and paul buttheads but i dont find any distaste for him and infact i respect the work he did. i even apologized to him for these exact things you mentioned but it seems that wasent communicated.

 

1 hour ago, Duck. said:

You have a complete disregard for the rules. That doesn't mean you don't follow them, I mean that you tend to break them when staff aren't on or you think they're not paying attention. Here's an example: I got on because I saw some toxicity happening, where you told someone "Don't ask retarded questions". You know the r word is banned on Rotation, so I muted you for 1 hour for it. You then tried to lie to me about saying it. Here's an image for reference:

I did apologize? You mentioned it the day after when i cooled off and i apologized. You mentioned it after i said "name one time i said it like that" and you were like "literally the other day" and i was like "ah shit you right. ayo btw my bad that was a... im stupid. my bad" like i admitted yea i totally lied to you. I was being a fucking prick that day. Im not gonna argue that ill take full responsibility for that. But to say i didnt apologize i know i did. again. This goes to my "my bad" thing. Thats my ... sort of way of saying im sorry. its not great. ive had my closest friends tell me i need to directly say that im sorry and to own up to my shit. But its a hard thing to knack. ive always went "my bad" on anything like that. Regulars can attest thats something i do OFTEN there are many clips of me doing something and expelling an apology with a "im so sorry" or a "ahhh shiiiit my bad" and both are the same in my brain.
Again. im not saying im defending this specific thing. You did the right thing and you shut me down and i respect that. and i lied after to look sly. You called me out. I respect the fuck out of that. I own that. But i 100% apologized. it was sadly a day or a few days later when it shoulda been that day. ill own that too. i was fustrated as fuck that day and my ego got in the way of a proper apology.

 

1 hour ago, Duck. said:

Your toxicity has lead to multiple people leaving the server, and you don't feel any little bit apologetic, you seem to only want the names of them to explain why they may feel that way, rather than wanting to make things right.

I stated i literally couldent care about the ban at this stage i just wanna know who i can apologize too cause i feel like shit. i wanna fix this stuff. no one should feel this way and i wanna learn and understand what happened. This was to another staff member who i talked to.
You told me a good long while ago i made people leave. this was after you got mad at me for wanting a guy who prop killed me slayed. it was a guy who i didnt know and was a random to me and was supremely toxic in the response of the report aswell. So that didnt help my guy. When i asked you specifically and you got more vague i got furious with you. I think part of me is fair in that. If you have complaints of me why would you not talk to me about it. Why would you not when it happened see if maybe just maybe the context is missing IM RUNNING SHADOWPLAY ALL THE TIME. TELL ME TO SHOW YOU MY SHADOWPLAYS AND IF I REFUSE GUESS WHAT. THAT LOOKS BAD ON ME DONT IT. Ive literally told you guys ways to see if what im doing or what im claiming is true or not. but you guys didnt go for that for some odd fucking reason. Yet i always gave you guys clips and screenshots whenever something happened. It was only after i got banned AFTER I GOT BANNED did i learn some of the details of said "complaints" while it was alot more than i had. the solutions werent what they shoulda been.

There are people who i used to have issues with and all we did was talk and we became chill right after. Communication is key. without it wheres any solution what so ever. despite me being difficult and again. it was unfair to you guys how difficult i was in some instances i get that but how does not telling me anything and having those things persist help anyone... Its not diverting responsibility but how do i apologize and fix my approaches and attitude if no one tells me somethings wrong with it. Vaguely doesent do shit. cause for all i know it could bea guy who just targeted me, called me every slur in the book and just left before an admin came on and then went the extra mile and yall dont know what they just did. I DONT KNOW WHO IT IS. but thats why you figure it out and see if shits in the correct context or not.

1 hour ago, Duck. said:

We've been over this song and dance already, you've apologized for everything and went right back to attacking everyone. Why should we trust this will be any different?

 

I'm for keeping the ban, we don't need the gaslighting, abuse or toxicity back on the server.

Not this exact song. It was rdming off of my toxic behavior of ingame aspects. I dont attack anyone unprovoked. Gaslighting as a T is part of the game, all other aspects arent possible. Cause at the time of multiple claims (again at the time. meaning when these happened) i had clips there offered and ready.
Abuse? well. in my mindset lying is a form of abuse in a way so your right on that. ive had instances but of main abusive shit it doesent exist.

You say you dont want it on the server but if it was just the toxcicity that was the issue from the get go i woulda been gone a month before the ban itself when i was worse through that good month and a half but me getting better and better and better every week seems to even say that toxicity doesent exist at the level it used to. You can say you try to get along with everyone but whats it make sense for you to fuck around with and get along with the guy who you think "doesent deserve to come back to the server" i think theres getting stuck in old issues here.

Youve had multiple players even come out in the discord when this ban happened to even tell you in the past month before i have been overall good. one or two things here or there. But one of those i even apologized to alpha for. he knows which one im talkin bout. Hell i was getting better on multiple things without knowing about the other shit even. Now that i know? even more? you dont think for some odd reason theres that change that would elevate. when its already shown it can be. Ive made up with a good amount of people i originally didnt like, ive adjusted slightly my game sense i mean hell me fucking with shiny in that hole granted its shiny but that itself isent the "kill hungry" benny people labeled me as that first month. All of that shit literally points to change. Theres still more change to go obviously. But theres no back peddle at this stage. You literally wouldent get the shit of that first month and you havent. at all. you had some a lil after that first month but again. the change literally has been shown. it extends even to me forgiving LEGIT RDMS ON ME. YOU CONVINCED ME ON TEENROOM TO FORGIVE A GUY WHO WAS DISCOMBING PEOPLE OFF OF THINGS. CONSTANTLY. I LISTENED TO YOU. I THOUGHT YA KNOW WHAT. MAYBE I AM HARD ON THIS SHIT. MAYBE I DO NEED TO RELAX AND I RELAXED. I did keep one on him the next round but he got karma banned soon anyway. but you convinced me off that. Ive been trying more and more and more to be more and more chill. IT pains me to see the progress i was making seems to just be. washed. for some reason washed.

Regardless..... Youve been open on your opinion of me before. I know me and you never saw eye to eye on alot. IVe respected your opinion since you came back and enjoyed alot of good moments with you. I respect your opinion now. The more the better in my eyes no matter for or against me. Thank you for your statement.

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20 hours ago, iLoveNapalm said:

He blocked me on discord and muted me on the server as well. To be honest, I didn't really do anything to deserve a mute/block, I believe I just killed him with a sword and he thought I was targeting. Anyways, I bring this up because it shows that JuicyBenny is easily persuaded and moved by his emotions. I presume he was having a rough day and I just killed him in a way that would tick him off. But, as of recent, JuicyBenny took it upon himself to unblock and unmute me for whatever reason. I think this is important for one main reason, it shows change. It shows JuicyBenny is capable of changing how he is and how he acts, for the better.

This was indeed the case. I had an event where a group of 3 people were targetting me heavily for many rounds on motel. one being a player i have had multiple issues with previously and staff were aware of it and are of this specific instance. This was the first time i think napalm had played with me before. Because of that he hadent known about what was really happening. So him knifing me fit into the entire bs that was happening so i slotted him into that group as they were doing similar.

Blocked communication with the whole lot. However eventually after playing many many games with napalm and talking to him i found myself liking him and then i really found out over my courses playing with him he really didnt know what was going on. it was a wrong place wrong time situation. I felt like a fucking asshole.
I unblocked unmuted and started having a really fun time with napalm. no joking like genuine banter. I made up the best way i could to try and change a type of relationship that began like shit and it was my fault that it did. my mans was only trynna be friendly with me and i was an instant asshole due to circumstance.

 

 

20 hours ago, iLoveNapalm said:

but I'm sure he would take any period of ban over a permanent one.

Ya damn well hit it right on a dime. Infact id say almost exactly my mindset. I'd be fully okay with a ban staying as long as it isent perma.


Probably the most honest take id ever seen on me in the most non bias manor. It honestly did make me smile and nod as i read cause i agreed fully with this assessment.

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So I'm just going to say that I've not been on this server very long, only a few months as of now. So what I'll say probably won't be impactful or even worth reading but I'll just say it anyway. I've only known Benny a short time and honestly when I did meet him the first time he came on the server and seemed very upset at another player and I thought he was just some salty guy, nothing out of the ordinary. But as the more I played with him it felt genuinely enjoyable to play with him and we both started growing fond of each others company. 

 

On the day he was banned, I messaged him and he felt genuinely upset at being banned (as would anyone) and hearing the reasons behind it surprised me as I never assumed him to be a toxic person all that much. Now I have seen the clips of him being toxic and I do understand why people would not want him to return, and honestly I think Napalm said it the best that a temporary ban is probably better for both parties in this situation and if he returns without improving himself then it would be best if he didn't return. I've always felt that he was an honest fun person to be around and I've personally not had an issue with him, but I won't deny seeing that he was toxic to people in the past and even in the present. Which he does seem to be regretful of the stuff he has done which to me does show growth as a person.

 

As I've said before, I'm not that informed on how he was in the past only really seeing clips and hearing through others on what he's been like so I'm mostly going off my personal experience with him which has been honestly good. Maybe I'm just lucky to not have pissed him off in anyway? Personally I don't think that. I do think he can be a good person if he tried to be, and after seeing him be sorry for what he has done and also talking with him in private I believe he can be. But as stated before with Napalm, if he doesn't show improvement then I do agree that he doesn't deserve another chance after that. But I do feel that he has grown as a person.

 

All in all, I think Napalm has said it better than I could. Hell this probably isn't a good response to begin with but I'm just saying what my thoughts are on all this so take for a grain of salt if you want too. I do acknowledge that he has been toxic and broken rules in not only the past but in also the present. However, I do also feel that he has grown as a person in general. I do understand why he was banned, I just don't think it should be perma I agree that it should be at least long but not forever. At the end of the day, its not my choice in the matter I'm just giving my 2 cents. I hope no matter what happens that Juicy does well after this.  

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Well since a bunch of people are posting their experiences I suppose I will.  I am relatively biased since I haven't gotten along with Juicy in the past but I will try to keep it civil.

 

I was on server for about 2-4 weeks pretty hardcore, online a lot with Juicy.  There was quite a few awkward or "toxic" situations that came up on server during those situations, but also some decent talks and gameplay.  I do see where people get that from, depending on his mood for the day, the way that he addresses people that are not friends or random players can change quite a bit.  I have heard a lot of stories about what happens off server too, and it's not good.  I was also told that one time in a discord voice call he was talking very harshly about me, which may have been fair to hold those opinions but I never expected them to be publicly shared as I have mostly kept mine to myself.

 

I do personally think this is a case of regret after the fact, if he was allowed to stay on the server his behavior wouldn't have changed.  Considering this is after a previous permaban I honestly don't see why the change didn't happen faster or sooner unless Juicy believed another perma wasn't possible or in question.  I have also seen enough to believe that a lot of new players and even some regulars have left or taken breaks from the server due to their interactions with Juicy, which is not good for the overall health of the server.  You shouldn't have to be told that your behavior is wrong, usually people know how to properly interact with others.  I know that Juicy gets targeted a lot for a multitude of reasons and that can lead to a lot of stress, but instead of going off on people and making enemies it would be best to record it and report it to the admins to handle.

 

My as-unbiased-as-possible opinion is that Juicy won't end up changing in a way that will keep him unbanned in the future, a lot of his explanations for why he broke rules or was extremely toxic was because he wasn't doing well IRL or had other unrelated issues he brought onto the server with his actions and interactions with the playerbase.  It might do well for him to have it be said it's "temporary" and be unbanned in a year or whenever but if the server is still up and running I don't see Juicy changing how he interacts with others.  Usually you can tell when people are making changes in their behavior and there was still the exact same behavior from when I started playing showing 2-4 weeks into the server, and from what I saw in discord and in this thread it continued beyond that as well. 

 

I will say before I end that it does seem like he cares about the server and wants it to do better.  If he ends up returning hopefully he keeps that mindset and tries to keep it alive and healthy with his behavior as well.

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On 9/20/2021 at 7:34 PM, BestKevin said:

I will say before I end that it does seem like he cares about the server and wants it to do better.  If he ends up returning hopefully he keeps that mindset and tries to keep it alive and healthy with his behavior as well.

Reading your whole thing. I am amazed that someone can admit such a bias and proclaim such an honest unbiased opinion as you yourself just did.

I was also just as with others very unfair with you and instantly took a disliking and rather than the opening up that i did with others right away i slandered you unfairly. In fact i did notice that whilst playing with you. It is a reason i started to be more open and more friendly towards you as i had done with others around that time. When you had no reason to do the same to me and yet you did. but still admitted you had that bias against me from previous encounters.

I respect the fuck out of that. I respect the fuck out of you talking to me post this ban and a bit before and despite all that shit being 100% honest with your take here.
Id argue the "regret after the fact" portion because Its not regret after the fact of this entirely its regret on things i only became in touch with after the ban of which regret was placed but i had regret over multiple instances of myself being toxic as i was towards many people. You were one of those, napalm was one of those, mystaldi was one of those. Whom i was unfairly an asshole towards right away and mended things once i actually got it through my own head everything. I knew a ban could come possibly if i didn't clean up shit and so i was during a good stretch period under realizing a lot of what i was doing was as bad as it was, i still hold i did not know all aspects of it but i knew a enough where i had already started on this transition of self awareness on those. it was not perfect but it was presently there and noticeable enough just not enough enough if you get that... the effects or effort was not enough.

But nah i love this take tbh.

 

On 9/20/2021 at 7:34 PM, BestKevin said:

I know that Juicy gets targeted a lot for a multitude of reasons and that can lead to a lot of stress, but instead of going off on people and making enemies it would be best to record it and report it to the admins to handle.

especially this. This exact thing. Cause you are correct those ARE things i should have done ALL of the time. I did do them some of the time but only convenient whilst i went the other route a lot more than usual (i also did record whilst still doing those. i always am. shadowplay is always on). This was a big downfall on my part. Its a thing i don't need to work on improving however, rather in my opinion i just need to generally do it. it should not need a try or test other than based on my attitude and approach parts i had talked about at the start of this appeal.

Regardless thank you kevin for your opinion. very based.

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Posted  Edited by AlphaOwl - Edit Reason: omfg how do I mess up some grammar and repetition fml

I’ve tried to refrain from posting anything here for a majority of the time to see what others had to say about the whole situation, but as the voting nears a close, I’d like to bring forth a collection of accounts from players that have been victim to some of your actions, whether it be toxicity or interactions in game. I feel that it’s necessary to represent these individuals as I feel all accounts should be taken into consideration, even the unspoken ones. Although this is not representative of my true feelings regarding you, I will back up the information that I gathered from what I've personally discussed of and seen. Of course, behind every opinion there is bias, so I can’t necessarily take their word entirely for an accurate account. However, what I can do is bring forth a lot of what people consider of you and your actions, in order to seek the change within yourself instead of only going after what was mentioned.

 

With that in mind, here are a majority of the notes that I figured were the most important bringing up, as well as some agreements from me that can back up their cases:

  • Mistreatment of players who are random players/regulars who are not friends with you, whether it be calling them out excessively or rude behavior towards people that’s generally uncalled for.

    • You’ve led efforts to paint specific individuals in a bad light, whether it be through slight interactions you’ve had on the server or Discord and blowing them up to sizable proportions in efforts to get punishment dished out against them. One of the worst cases that I’ve seen from you is calling one of our Server Managers a “sociopath” just because of some interactions on Discord or some poorly thought out decisions.

    • In some cases criticism was well deserved (as stated by the players), but you often went a little overboard with it, sometimes throwing in insults.

    • Some players may not realize that you’re extremely upset about something and may accidentally do something against you, but instead you start treating them like shit and belittle them for their actions.

    • I’ve also gotten reports from some that you’d revenge RDM players if they might’ve transgressed you in some sort of way you didn’t believe was fit, whether it be a previous RDM or a report.

  • Despite some players hearing of your reputation and what not, they’ve tried to reach out and befriend you. However, you often ignored their friendship and took some actions made by them as attempts to harass you, which would lead you to mistreat these players by blocking them or RDMing them if they did something small. 

  • Players are often discouraged from hopping on the server simply for the fact that you are on, as they don’t want a repeat experience again so they avoid the server in general. Even regarding the appeal process, people are avoiding getting involved just because of how much they’ve gone through to deal with you.

  • You would work against Traitor buddies by undoing their T traps/weapons, just because you don’t like how they play.

  • RDMing people, regardless of them being friends or not. Not only are you very exclusive with it (being generally with people you consider friends), but your playfulness with it leads people to believe they can join in on the fun, which isn’t often the case. Even though RDM shouldn't be encouraged, you should keep a level of consistency with how you do it with others in general.

  • There’s a level of hypocrisy with how you treat things. One moment you can be mad at someone for doing something KOSable or it pissed you off, but you yourself could be replicating what they were doing the next round after. You’ve complained about a lot of leniency towards handling certain players, but at the same time you don’t recognize the amount of leniency given to you to keep you unbanned with all of the things mentioned above in consideration.

People are flawed, it’s just human nature. But that doesn’t always give us the excuse to only think of people like that if they’re not good in our eyes. Everyone here isn’t out to make you their enemy, but in some cases you make it seem that way for them. I’d like to bring attention to the response made by Davoony at the beginning of the year on your previously denied permaban appeal. Similarly in this appeal, it’s good to accept responsibility for your actions, but it still nonetheless does not excuse the behavior behind the incidents now brought to your attention. These shouldn’t have happened in the first place, especially this being your THIRD ban appeal for a SECOND permaban. You did start making strides towards the end, but it wasn’t enough to outweigh the bad in the grand scheme of things. 

 

Even with the stuff mentioned previously in that appeal, you also had guidelines given by both of our Server Managers to follow to keep safe. Yet not only were they likely disregarded, but you’ve also disrespected both of them in more ways in one, especially with what I’ve seen you talk of Paul. He said he only dealt with all the shit talk because he felt bad for your situation, and the stuff said about him by you is by far enough toxicity in general to warrant a complete separate ban in my opinion, yet he handled it like a champ and let you play.

 

I don’t try to have grievances with the players on the server, in most cases I often try to befriend people regardless of their reputation. That goes the same way with you honestly. I have no personal issues with you, but I can’t just stand by and let all this go unchecked for the others that come to play on Rotation. When I first started getting more involved with the server and prior to your first permaban, I honestly only ever got to see that good side of you, like many others have too. But after becoming an admin, it was honestly really shocking to see just how toxic you were, as I hadn't suspected the behavior would be consistent across multiple people. A lot of the time during the unban period, I often told you of what you needed to improve or stop doing, but I was met with defensive text-walls doubling down on your stance. After so many, I wasn’t even sure if there was any hope for improvement.

 

There are a lot of ideas that I agree with other players who have discussed in this appeal so far. I say this will all due respect, but I think there’s a lot of issues that got to be sorted out within yourself, with the first being to take a break from the server entirely. For a long majority of 8 months of being first banned, you had the server on your mind with hopes of an accepted appeal. But sometimes you just got to preoccupy yourself with other things before you get into the right mindset for change. After that, who knows? Maybe you’d get in the right mentality and not actually exert toxic traits onto the Discord and server. And maybe I believe in a third chance for you only because the first chance I saw through my rose-tinted glasses and never noticed much of the bad. But it’s not for me to decide to change, it’s up to you. And MAYBE there’s a chance, but I can't make that choice for you. I wish you the best of luck with this appeal, and I do hope you take these things that I’ve stated into consideration.

Edited by AlphaOwl
omfg how do I mess up some grammar and repetition fml

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I cant argue with most of this. Cause its fully accurate, typically i liked to take specific scenarios to paint it as the only part in some complaints when there are multiple. However, im not gonna do that here cause it goes away from the main part....

7 hours ago, AlphaOwl said:

You would work against Traitor buddies by undoing their T traps/weapons, just because you don’t like how they play.

This however im pretty sure this just refers to c4s i don't recall fucking up other Traitor buddies traps unless i literally HAD to do it. Whether it be if i didn't do it the Innos would gun me down or i cannot get past or to the area of which i have to go to unless i do. C4s on the other hand yes. on roy specifically if the T buddy died i would grab their c4. Partly because i hated the c4 montra within roy. i still do, and partly to get proven in some sense. or at the very least trust worthy within the innos. But that's the only example i can think of in this regard.

The other stuff is accurate my mistreatment is noted, my bouts with paul is also noted. I apologized to him recently all the same. me and him butted heads on a lot of things and i took them too far. In my estimation there were elements of sociopathic behavior. im aware cause i also show those same tendencies from time to time. Im a Person who calls things as is and i don't sugar coat or hide a lot and that's been a big downfall on me. Cause it means my filter is capped off. Its lead me to a lot of trouble. gaining that filter has been a task. Im still even now working on it outside the server things. Ive slowed down alot on interactions with people because unless im generally in a jolly mood im making sure i don't do what i did before. Let me note i don't think badly of paul however i just expressed myself terribly to him. I insulted when i didn't need to not just to him but to others.
Part is how i talk as well i wont say its not. how i talk to people is.... unique? idk. how i explain it but my personality on the words i choose and when are different Ive been told. Sometimes actually i try and use those same insults as a comedic method of transitioning to make things not so awkward so we can play and game and not have weird feels man. ya know? but that has been....missed a good amount of the time. i think it comes with not making it as obvious as i was. which i thought i was but here we are.

People tried to befriend me that's true. I treated them unfairly. i will say there are some cases of context not being there for some which i remember about a month ago i had expressed which those were but for a lot you are correct. I think a lot was down to.... poor timing and my choice of approach during that. As you know i am a targeted person more times than not. hell sometimes i invite the targeting so others don't get fucked and its only me. Sometimes i don't but there are signs to a targeting. consistent signs of it and we've been aware of those. If someone does those to a perfect T of those targeting signs. yes i will auto assume that is the case. i cant find any reason they would perform the same actions as others who have targeted me maliciously in the past would. But....there have been cases of misidentifying that. Napalm is one of those.
Let me just say..... if i blocked them...they DID do something malicious. i make sure of it. The only case where that was different was napalm and i have the block list if need be to prove that. it has old players from back in the day who hate me to a core and others who i have extensive problems with which you guys know about.
I do think i have the right to block who i feel but on the same end it doesn't excuse me of then being a complete ass wipe to those people when i could just ignore them as a whole after that.

Yes i am very hypocritical on a lot of things. I have a tendency to get over specific to justify why i do it and why its fine and why another person did it and it wasen't fine that sort of thing but it does lead this... superiority complex type feel to it. I am well aware of that and i have been aware of that for much longer than this entire process.


As much as this appeal and this ban and stuff has taken a lot of my time and a good amount of stress ive taken time to focus on a lot. in fact the only times i had this appeal open for these 14 days was just to respond and close out. not right away i would have it open most of the day but eventually i kept it closed until i got a reply. id talk in the discord but i tried to vein away from thinking too much about it so i could focus on work. Focus on completing Yakuza or something. ya know my usual shit.
I cant... fully get the server out of my head. I don't think i can i never could before. There was no grantee for an un-ban last time. but i just... fought for it.
Though...there was more on the improvement end i think..a few realize.

I am on a furry server i call it my home. im a staff member on there. i pride myself with that server. id do anything for it. I am on there everyday. all day. when im working driving all day im in their vc all day. I talk to people all day there and i notice a lot of stuff. i have friends that are super close that tell me things and my girlfriend even does the same. A LOT of what the concerns are here... have happened over there.... ive made a connection with a lot of events to really see how universal it is. But while ive made improvements over there with it. here i had not.... my focus was more on other shit than improving what i thought was already "improved"
which is weird cause in the same sense i say it a lot ive worked a lot on how i say things or what i say here to what i say on my furry server. i cannot say some of the shit here i do over there. ive worked on watching my conduct but yet i have not done it with the other shit as much.

But the servers gonna be on my mind at the very least in the back.... in-game im a lot different than i am outside of it. So its hard to tell improvement in-game. it always has been. Im not gonna say im gonna be perfectly 100% switched right away ill need  to catch myself a lot but its a lot of internal shit I will need to work through. hell i was already not playing as often as i used to tbh. i made a post about it even a bit before the ban. I think i was.... nearing that.. taking time away to do my shit and reflect and also improve slightly. i was nearing a good portion of that but.. the past shit caught up with me. like you said it doesn't outweigh it and your right. it should have been sooner. im sorry.

Personally i think there's a chance. I hope so anyway. This is the only server i find much enjoyment in. my playtime compatibility to hours on steam can attest to that. I know a lot of players have that confidence in me and a lot have told me you need to fucking change and show that fucking change. Its been drilled into me. I cant promise it immediately. Im still gonna play like i have been on a game play level but as for conduct ill be... slowing how i typically respond or present myself i think cause i need to catch niches in how i do it.

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