Lord's Anarchy Staff Resignation

[lord of burgers 67 / 2,162]

I'm resigning from TTT Anarchy staff. This might be sudden for some people; and I'm sorry, but I feel like this is the best thing for me to do at the moment.

 

 

An incident happened today in our staff channel that I won't get into, I can't really share it as it's private information, in my opinion. In all honesty, I've been having less and less fun on Anarchy. I don't know exactly why, maybe it's just general burnout after almost a year of staffing and over a thousand hours of playtime. From what happened today, I can only think that I am one of the leading causes of this feeling. I contributed to my own disinterest in the server, and I can't help but feel that other people have been affected too. I didn't know I was causing this for my long period as staff. If I had asked others, asked our managers, hell, even questioned myself, things would be different. I just feel like if I did things properly, the server would be much better. People would have more fun, people would play more. I can't bear the guilt of this.

 

 

I'm not trying to say that the server is in a bad place right now, we've got a great playerbase, an incredible staff team, majorly talented managers and higher-ups, and a mechanically interesting server to boot. Overall, the server is doing fantastic and I only hope that it will continue to grow and flourish in the future. It's had its issues before (and some very recently), but we've always come back and improved.

 

 

This was also my first time being incredibly invested into an online community. I made my mistakes, but I didn't give it my all. I could've been more caring, I could've been more outgoing. When I recall the past, I'm only reminded of how differently I could have handled things. I should have been more social. Gotten to know people better. Interacted with them more outside of Anarchy, Garry's Mod and GFL. I feel like my only real contribution to the server is my sub-par map edits that I didn't put a lot of effort into. I also don't really know if people enjoyed my presence or not. I could've done so much more. Maybe I could've become a senior admin if I'd tried. I feel like I'm an outlier in the team, and there's nobody to blame but myself. If I could start over and try again, I would. I'm sorry.

 

 

Despite all of this, Anarchy was one of the most positive virtual experiences I've ever had. I met tons of people that were helpful and kind. Players that are incredibly funny and talented. Staff members that are dedicated and exemplary. The vast majority of memories I have of this server are positive and I probably won't forget them for a long time. I don't know if I'll continue playing as a regular member, or if I'll ever come back to the staff team.

 

 

I'm not going to specifically mention anyone in this post. Almost everyone I've met has been incredible. I don't like being judgmental, mean, or rude about people, and I'd feel awful if I left anyone out. Of course, there have been negative experiences with people, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in any way. And seriously, I don't want to blame anyone for this. Please don't think that any of your actions led to my decision. This is purely of my own accord and I don't want anyone to be negatively impacted.

So, with that being said, thank you all for (almost) an incredible year (as a staff member) on Anarchy. And I hope the server is great while I'm gone.

 

- lord of burgers

[Joshy 4,297 / 42,800]

Thanks and I wish you well.

 

It sounds like to me you're experiencing something that is totally normal in any leadership role.  Maybe if you didn't really feel too disinterested it could be something to sit on for a week?  That's up to you and your manager, but sometimes when something happens I need a little extra time to think about it and I think it's worth just kind of a little extra time even if it's not productive this week it could offer so much more value for the future.

 

Regarding what's normal in leadership roles: We all make mistakes (I make a lot!), and we all have to sometimes make some frustrating decisions.  I don't have a deep dive details of what you're talking about, but you could probably imagine that a lot of the things I see on Discord and sometimes the Forums is not black and white.  When we're out in the gray like that we're going to run into a lot of opportunities where right and wrong is murky... funny enough people are even more vocal on these things and it's very hard to satisfy everyone or everything.  Sometimes I just straight up make some epic mistakes maybe it's something we've overlooked or misunderstood.  It happens.  It's definitely concerning when I see a ping right after I run a command it says something like "Joooossshhhhyyyy...  WHYYYY???!!!! 😞 " (happens all the time too) You don't even want to know what the other half of this meme is, but you know it's bad when your own team is meming about you.  We just try our best to do the right thing- we shrug off and laugh off that sometimes we make mistakes and value the lessons learned with no hard feelings 🙂 

 

No matter your decision or choice I can only thank you your contributions and wish you well.  It sounds like to me you've done a pretty a good job and are well-liked.

 

(Credit to @DaPainWayne for this creative artwork)

Edited June 11, 2022 by Joshy

[no hands hand 12 / 412]

Hi Burgs, I’m not an admin or anything like that but speaking as a player I feel like you’ve always been fair and fun. If this is what you need to find your personal peace, then go for it. I know that I’ll miss seeing you on

[Doctor Pig 111 / 3,008]

I won’t lie, seeing this came as a shock to me, and I’m sure it did to other admins seeing this post. I understand burnout all too well, and I haven’t been active at all on anarchy over the last month. Before I became an admin on anarchy, you were always one of the admins that I was happy to see connecting because of how fair you were. Anyway, you will be missed, and I personally would love to see you again on anarchy at some point in the future. 

[Cpt.Haxray 753 / 11,921]

It was great having you on anarchy.

[annoying furry 6,264 / 62,597]

good luck with your future endeavors ❤️

 

[RealUberZ 2 / 172]

Thank you for your time on the server lord, one of the few people who is nothing but enjoyable to play with, you did an excellent job.

[xilon100 5 / 184]

Lord ! 

 

I am sad to see you go but I hope you come back to play once in a while. I feel similar to you - I feel I offer very little due to other life commitments and I could be doing better. I have a hard time with it sometimes as well. This is also my first time being this into a community online. 

 

If I'm honest, you played a decent roll in pulling me in to the server and making it fun. I think because you were similar in perspective to myself, that made it easier. You have a really positive attitude and it's always fun being lied to by you in-game and being mercilessly murdered down some alley.  You've always been super level-headed and really good at managing tasks. 

 

It's a shock to see you go, but it's for your own good and there's often nothing better than that. 

 

Take care and good luck with all your things !

[VilhjalmrF 2,097 / 29,981]

Holy shit, I remember you back on TTT. Didn't know you became staff. From what I can remember, you were a fun dude to play with. Wish you the best mate!

[lobsterpaw 154 / 2,334]

arguably one of the best and most responsible admins out there, it's a shame you're leaving. later gator 

[212th Jib 14 / 968]

Honestly Man playing with you on the purge server was great and seeing you around the community whether I was Under jib or UmoniaLauds It was always nice to see you on and interact with you

[Daedra Daddy 75 / 2,899]

I completely understand what your feeling, and although I honestly don't know the situation my experience with you was one of admiration. I always enjoyed your presence and atmosphere on the server, I hope to see you around ❤️

[Jdot. 43 / 1,461]

Damn one of the best staff on anarchy gone😢😢😢😢 

 

 

[Admiral Chin Chin 2 / 1,558]

Wow, I didn't even know about this. You were great Burgers and I hope you find what you enjoy in the long term. (forgot to put a punctuation mark at the end, lol). (double p.s. I guess have fun wherever). (Triple p.s. now, I was concerned and wondered what happened to you. since you were on every so often.)

 

Edited July 3, 2022 by Admiral Chin Chin