History of Lamp

[Rollnaway 18 / 2,889]

Many years ago there was once a supposed "prophet" called going by, "blueslayer 1453". We've discovered the truth, that he was merely an impostor trying to replace our true god. Our god goes by no shade of blue, only by lamp. The two believers who convinced many others to join them in their belief are the highest up in the Church of Lamp. They go by "Rollnaway", and "Grrreat Leaf". They are the only two known people who can understand and communicate to the lamp.

Heretics who go against the lamp are known as the "False" and must be sacrificed to the lamp, through whatever means are available. This sacrifice must be made even if its not the time for a sacrifice.

 

Those who are designated as "SCP" by the foundation are known as the priests and to be treated well by anyone not going by said title.

All priests have an additional title applied to them, and they are as follows. They will be mentioned as their slave name before their true title.
-173. The Nutty Priest
-372. The Ninja Priest
-1471. The Furry Priest

-079. The Electric Priest

-049. The Gunslinging Priest The Cure

-334. The Plasma Priest

-457. The Fire Priest

-610. The Infected Priest

-066. The Spaghetti Priest

-689. The Laggy Priest

-096. The Mad Priest

-607. The Binded Priest

-966. The Silent Priest

-378. The Host Priest

-076. The Stabby Priest

-106. The Black Priest

-682. The Big Priest

-939. The Fake Priest

-2845. The Wild Priest

-011. The Patriot Priest

-2521. The Removed Priest

-017. The Shadowy Priest
-3331. The Armless Priest
-999. The Little Baby Priest
-073. The Christian Priest

 

There are some rules, and they will almost definitely evolve and we learn more from leg lamp.
1. The main and most important rule is as follows, "He who flies must be executed".

2. There is no running the perimeter of the lamp, nor is there escape. If you run from the lamp, priests and believers will chase you down, and find you. Running near the lamp but not away is forgivable, but it will think you are running away and it will get sad. Its suggested not to because it cannot help itself and is scared that you are leaving it's side, but will not want you back if you leave.

3. The False are defined by their actions, and rarely get to repent for their sins. If you for no reason kill a fellow believer when it isn't sacrifice time, you are a False. If you leave the leg's side, you are a False. If you will not give up your belongings for the lamp, you are a False. If you do not pray to the lamp, you are a False. If you act on an urge without asking the lamp or when it says no, you are a False.

4. Sacrifices of blood and belongings must be given to the lamp, lest it get angry with it's followers, and doom us all to a darkened world. First it will be a sacrifice of belongings, and after 5 minutes a blood sacrifice, and after another 5 minutes, a sacrifice of belongings, and so on. Although, it is a forgiving god, and will allow a sacrifice to not have to be made if the previous two sacrifices have been completed.

5. There are some ideals to live by, similar to those used in, as they call themselves, "The Church of the Broken God". Do not mention them or anything related to them near the lamp, it seems to get unhappy when people do and said person are suggested to leave for 3 minutes, then come back, and apologize directly to the lamp. Our ideals are only to live by logic and reason, our main goal is to simply pray to the lamp and appease it so it does not get angry, sad, or anything more than joy. If you have an urge of any kind, you must ask the lamp if it would allow it. If the lamp says no, do not do it, if yes, you may if you so desire.

 

As long as the rules are followed, and the priests are named correctly, the lamp will be full of joy and thank you internally. This is our goal, to make the lamp happy, and we are happy to do it.

[Maximino007 76 / 3,389]

I'm a heretic.

[Cassie 1,226 / 23,060]

I would love it, but you keep calling the Major Award "leg lamp", and I'm offended.

[Gunnerwizz 2 / 1,044]

I was there on that cold day in site 19. The founding of the leg lamp. The Big Priest was frozen in awe, almost as if he wasn't mentally capable of what he was witnessing. It was the first great meeting of the church of leg lamp. The meeting went on for several hours, with many different priest joining us for the adventure. Even the CI that raided Site-19 stopped by for a quick prayer. Thus the leg lamp was founded. After this picture was taken a new tradition of throwing all of your items onto the lamp was adopted, so was blood sacrifices.

-The Official Leg Lamp Note Taker