Favorite (or most annoying) Joke of All Time

[starsandspiders 63 / 2,586]

Okay so I'm always curious about this because I like to be known for PARTICULARLY cringey, long, convoluted jokes. So here's mine, feel free to post yours down in the comments.

 

There was once a boy named Joshy who just loved trams and trolleys. He had toys, he had books illustrating them. Eventually, Joshy grew up, and he decided that he would become a trolley driver. So he moved from the town of Nowhere to San Francisco, famous for its trolleys. He became certified, took tests, and became an official trolley driver. One day, he was driving when a woman began yelling in his ear for him to stop, and Joshy became very angry. How dare she SCREAM at him and distract him from the road? Instead of stoping, he began to speed up more, and more, and more... Until he ran over an old woman in the street.

At any rate, he was immediately caught, arrested, and sentenced to death for brutal manslaughter. Before he was sent to the electric chair, the guards asked him what he wanted for his last meal. He thought for a second, then said: "I would like three blue bananas from Bangladesh." The guards looked at him rather oddly, but didn't want to refuse. After all, it was the man's last meal. Anyhow, they tracked down the bananas, he ate them, and was sent to the electric chair.

He was strapped in, and looked perfectly at ease. The guards flipped the switch... And nothing happened. They turned it on, turned it off, turned it on... They checked the fuse box, and everything was operational. Scratching their heads, they sighed. "This has never happened before... So we'll have to let you go. But you can't stay in San Francisco."

So Joshy scratched his head and moved to Amsterdam, where he heard there was a booming trolley system. He was recertified, but on one of his drives, ANOTHER person decided to shout for him to stop. And Joshy became so enraged that he just went faster and faster... And mowed down 5 people.

Needless to say, he was arrested again and sentenced to death. For his last meal, he asked for three blue apples from Angora. The guards were incredibly confused, but gave him the apples, and he was sent to the electric chair. They strapped him in... Turned it on... off, on, off. And NOTHING happened. They sighed and said that they would let him go.

So Joshy moved to a remote town in Australia, where he founded a trolley business and became the only driver. But one day, a woman began yelling for him to stop. So, NATURALLY, he sped up, went faster, faster.... and mowed down the 40 people standing in the street for the concert happening. Because obviously. They arrested him and REFUSED him a last meal, but he begged them for three blue avocados. They caved, and, after he ate the avocados, he was sent to the chair. They strapped him in and turned it on, off, on, off, AND NOTHING HAPPENED. So the guards, FULL of confusion, asked Joshy:

"We've talked to other prisons around the world. They too had this problem with you. We'll let you go, we WILL. But please, tell us, is it the blue food? We're dying to know."

Joshy looked up at the ceiling and sighed, then looked at the guards. "No, it's not that. I just like blue fruit." He thought for a second, as if coming to terms with something, then said: "I guess... I guess I'm just a poor conductor."

[Jroek97 64 / 2,777]

 

[starsandspiders 63 / 2,586]

7 minutes ago, Jroek97 said:

 

Why do you do these things

[-_Fx_- 666 / 11,186]

 

[-_Fx_- 666 / 11,186]

 

[TheClassyBandit 463 / 7,670]

This is from the joke section on the SCP Foundation Wiki. I highly suggest reading the whole thing before going to the punch line.

 

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1960-j

[Lone Sniper Skeleton 219 / 5,103]

Can I stab you on your T round for the terrible pun at the end?

 

And my favorite joke is: Me.

 

But real answer to my favorite joke: Why would I ever have I reason to trust Atoms? They make up everything!

Edited December 19, 2017 by LoneSniperSkeleton

[starsandspiders 63 / 2,586]

On 12/18/2017 at 9:18 PM, TheClassyBandit said:

This is from the joke section on the SCP Foundation Wiki. I highly suggest reading the whole thing before going to the punch line.

 

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1960-j

You know WHAT @TheClassyBandit,,, I can't this is worse than when I was sad and went to @Zer0 and he was like: Oh! Here's a funny link to make you feel better! (And obviously sent me a 10 hour "you've been trolled" video). 

[TheClassyBandit 463 / 7,670]

On 20/12/2017 at 7:12 PM, starsandspiders said:

You know WHAT @TheClassyBandit,,, I can't this is worse than when I was sad and went to @Zer0 and he was like: Oh! Here's a funny link to make you feel better! (And obviously sent me a 10 hour "you've been trolled" video). 

 

:c

[starsandspiders 63 / 2,586]

12 hours ago, TheClassyBandit said:

 

:c

It's all good I still love you