[WARNING VERY OFFENSIVE/ish] My diary

[XxShadowxX 5 / 1,734]

Once upon a time there was a young old man named XxShadowxX.  XxShadowxX was 16 years old and lived in swamp, New swamp states.  While walking home from school one day, a apple Shrek jumped out from behind a Dog shit and tackled XxShadowxX to the ground.  But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, XxShadowxX realized that the apple Shrek was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off.  At that moment, XxShadowxX decided to keep the apple Shrek as a pet.  And on the way home he decided to name his pet apple Shrek ''Admam.''  

When XxShadowxX and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch?  That's right, it was XxShadowxX's mother, Weeaboojones.  And boy was she surprised to see a apple Shrek following XxShadowxX into the yard!  ''What in world is that?'' shouted Weeaboojones.  ''It's a apple Shrek,'' answered XxShadowxX.  ''Dah, I can see that, XxShadowxX, but what on earth is it doing here?'' said Weeaboojones.  ''It's my new pet!'' answered XxShadowxX.  ''Oh you think so do you?'' remarked Weeaboojones.  ''I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates apple Shreks.  But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.''  And with that XxShadowxX grabbed Admam by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house--even though he knew his father was probably going to dissaprove.  

Once in the house, XxShadowxX and Admam played and played, that is until XxShadowxX's favorite television show, ''Minecraft,'' started.  At that point XxShadowxX forgot all about Admam having an unsupervised run of the house.  That is until half way through ''Minecraft,'' when XxShadowxX was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout, ''Fuck!!!  XxShadowxX! Get your Asshole in the Mom...NOW!!''  With that XxShadowxX rushed into the Mom to see what all the fuss was about.  When he entered the Mom, there stood his father, Filthy of the franks, pointing toward the Furniture.  ''Will someone please explain that?'' asked his father.  Then, as XxShadowxX followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about.  There,  dab in the middle of the Furniture, was the biggest pile of Shrek Shit he had ever seen!  ''I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,'' said Filthy of the franks.  ''But you had better get it cleaned up now!  And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!''  Well, knowing his father as well as he did, XxShadowxX knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep Admam for a pet.  

So without hesitation, XxShadowxX set out to find where Admam was hiding.  After a few minutes of looking, XxShadowxX discovered Admam crouched beneath the table that XxShadowxX did his Shitting on.  ''Come on, Admam, it's time to find you a new home.  And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the Furniture!'' scolded XxShadowxX.  ''Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet Shrek!!  And with that XxShadowxX led Admam out of the house and down to the local walnurt.  They had a pet section and XxShadowxX knew the owner would find Admam a good home.  

So after saying good-bye to Admam, and thanking the owner of walnurt, XxShadowxX walked backed home and attempted to dround his sorrows by chuging down a full bottle of Bleach.  But XxShadowxX's pitty party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up.  

And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, XxShadowxX suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.  

The End.

[BLAZE 179 / 6,866]

Interesting good but interesting

[Chormee 2,973 / 29,227]

What

[XxShadowxX 5 / 1,734]

http://gigglepedia.com/f/story-creator.asp You will understand... 

 

[McFallen 2 / 2,128]

I apologize for this

 

Once upon a time there was a young boy named Asswipe.  Asswipe was 19 years old and lived in Buttfuck, Depressed.  While walking home from school one day, a Asstan llama jumped out from behind a Pile of Dead hookers and tackled Asswipe to the ground.  But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, Asswipe realized that the Asstan llama was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off.  At that moment, Asswipe decided to keep the Asstan llama as a pet.  And on the way home he decided to name his pet Asstan llama ''Dick.''  

When Asswipe and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch?  That's right, it was Asswipe's mother, Bitch.  And boy was she surprised to see a Asstan llama following Asswipe into the yard!  ''What in world is that?'' shouted Bitch.  ''It's a Asstan llama,'' answered Asswipe.  ''Dah, I can see that, Asswipe, but what on earth is it doing here?'' said Bitch.  ''It's my new pet!'' answered Asswipe.  ''Oh you think so do you?'' remarked Bitch.  ''I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates Asstan llamas.  But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.''  And with that Asswipe grabbed Dick by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house--even though he knew his father was probably going to dissaprove.  

Once in the house, Asswipe and Dick played and played, that is until Asswipe's favorite television show, ''Brazzers,'' started.  At that point Asswipe forgot all about Dick having an unsupervised run of the house.  That is until half way through ''Brazzers,'' when Asswipe was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout, ''Motherfucker!!  Asswipe! Get your Ass in the Sex Dungeon...NOW!!''  With that Asswipe rushed into the Sex Dungeon to see what all the fuss was about.  When he entered the Sex Dungeon, there stood his father, McCunter, pointing toward the rape table.  ''Will someone please explain that?'' asked his father.  Then, as Asswipe followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about.  There, smack dab in the middle of the rape table, was the biggest pile of llama doo-doo he had ever seen!  ''I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,'' said McCunter.  ''But you had better get it cleaned up now!  And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!''  Well, knowing his father as well as he did, Asswipe knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep Dick for a pet.  

So without hesitation, Asswipe set out to find where Dick was hiding.  After a few minutes of looking, Asswipe discovered Dick crouched beneath the table that Asswipe did his Mastubation on.  ''Come on, Dick, it's time to find you a new home.  And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the rape table!'' scolded Asswipe.  ''Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet llama!!  And with that Asswipe led Dick out of the house and down to the local Pornhub.  They had a pet section and Asswipe knew the owner would find Dick a good home.  

So after saying good-bye to Dick, and thanking the owner of Pornhub, Asswipe walked backed home and attempted to dround his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen cups of Bleach.  But Asswipe's pitty party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up.  

And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, Asswipe suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.  

The End.