Unstable Mind: A look into the psyche(story)

[AverageDrink 174 / 3,360]

Unstable Mind: A look into the psyche

Before your comment no this story is not meant to be edgy lmao just a fun little window into other people's lives we never knew about.

This is a true story with some dramatizion elements read to your dismay or enjoyment this story will follow real events that transpired years ago up to the present day.

 

The day is October first a day that will never leave my mind, as this was the day I met someone I don't think I'll ever have the ability to forget. My now former friend George introduced me to her that very day I didn't know it yet but this person would become something more than a passerby but a reminder of what the different winding roads each person travels can cause. But this would be the day that we became friends, Her name was Brianna but everyone called her "Bri". Formerly we were acquaintances from 8th grade English class before this day I didn't even know she existed she just was another one drop in the sea of faces seen each day each day as I ground through the education system. We seemed to enjoy the company of one and other, so her friend Stacey would come with her to our neighborhood and hang out with me and my friend George who introduced us as he lived down just about fifty or so meters from my house. We became somewhat of good friends and this led to a group being formed out of mutual friendship for all parties involved. They frequently came to visit us and hang out, from there weeks turned into months, by this point and time she dated my and the group continued on. This would continue on for about 3 months until problems arise between Brianna and George turns out, George had done some very questionable and horrible things to her. He really did a number on her happiness, verbally abusing her when I and Stacy were not around and asking for sexual favors. We knew we had to intervene, so that's exactly what we did. We waited for George to come over as he was on his way so we waited for him to knock on the door and it began with Stacy and me being direct and to the point, Why? I at this point was fervently angry and I took control of the talking, " why would you do this George? Did you think you wouldn't get caught? What do you have to say for yourself? ". He began his explanation, "To be frank with you I don't know. I don't know much about many of the things I do but look, I could sit here and give you a bullshit explanation about why I did what I did to her but I know you've never done that to me. But I don't regret what I did if she decides to leave so be it." We were stunned by his answer we just simply can't believe that he would not even try to defend himself like we had theorized the night before he just came out and said it, at this point, we knew he was not someone we wished to continue to be friends with nor did we want him to go unpunished but we respected Bri's wish to leave this anonymous as she wanted it to "fade away" it would be years before I could fathom how she would be able to forgive him. They broke up and George became a distant memory we stopped speaking to him almost days after that confrontation. We carried on with school and life and the anger we felt towards him slowly subsided. Months passed until Bri and Stacy began having problems in their friendship and began to bitterly bicker,  Stacy cut ties with Bri and slowly stopped talking to me it would be quite a long time before I realized why she severed ties with Bri. Before she left from our lives she gave me a final warning and goodbye telling me through one of our last texts: " Brianna isn't someone you should keep around you'll regret in the long run if I were you I'd distance myself from her. " She never gave a reason she kept dodging questions as to why I should take such an action so I disregarded her warning and continued speaking to Bri. As time went on I grew more and more attached to the friendship I had developed with Bri and we came to be very close friends for years but as I became more close as a friend with her I learned things about her past and her situation. It was troubling and very depressing to watch as she deteriorated more and more as I knew her.  She never had much of a stable family as both of her parents were from my view completely deranged. Her father was a junky no good piece of shit who abused his wife and horribly treated his daughter, so much for a family man. He would come home drunk abuse physically and verbally his wife but more so his own daughter until it got to the breaking point. She was molested by her dad which was only stopped by her mother in a desperate attempt to gain custody of her child. It turns out her father Mathew was a sexual predator and had child pornography of his daughter and other children. When Bri was seven years old he was tried and convicted of possession and distribution of child pornography with other counts such as domestic abuse and battery. The C.P.S (Child Protective Services) gave his Sarah full custody of Brianna in hopes of giving her a better life with a much more suitable parental figure. Turns out the C.P.S were wrong she was no better but in a much different way than her husband, one just as damaging and longer spanning. Her mom at least had an excuse, she was lied to by her family, abused and raped from what I've been told. These events would come to shape her mom to be an obsessive control freak who isolated her socially and monitored every aspect of her daily activities down to when she was allowed to eat and what she could talk about to other people. This was partially successful but obviously not completely or I wouldn't know this much. This combination of terrible parenting caused Bri to slowly slip away mentally becoming emotionally unstable and leading to increasingly worrying results of the depression caused by this state of living. Unfortunately, the C.P.S have not been able to intervene as her mother is hellbent on making sure this information could not be relayed to the authorities as Brianna has tried several times to no avail and has been called a psychotic spinster trying to "hurt" her mother and brothers. She eventually gave up trying to leave this living situation and for some twisted reason still adamantly loves her abuser. It's a classic case of an abusive household and the effects it can hold on people. As the years passed I became a shoulder of comfort for whatever misfortune that had been dealt upon her and whatever misfortune she had caused upon herself. What I found most disturbing is her lack of self-awareness, constant mood swings, and lack of perception of how she keeps hurting herself. I've known of four relationships since our friendship that she has partaken in. All of them have ended the same way her, being mistreated and her blind eye to said mistreatment until too late. She has knowingly picked the worst kind of people and surrounded herself with them. Eventually becoming the subject of bullying by our classmates. This would come to cause her to try one of the many attempts at suicide I would know about.Her need of me to rationally give her support and be the pillar of reason became too strenuous and hurt our friendship dramatically as a result. Due to my own problems, I never realized how toxic this friendship was until I left it. Asking me to leave during any point of the friendship, later on, would have given you the response of I was being kept hostage as I would be reminded after one particular night. We had an argument over something petty leaving me frustrated and I ended the conversation on her the same night I received a text from her cousin that she had been admitted to the local mental institution for an attempted suicide by vehicular manslaughter I.E she had jumped in front of a moving truck on the highway close to her home after our argument luckily the man behind the wheel reacted quickly enough to slam the breaks and save her life. I would've known sooner but my phone died after the argument showing a list of phone calls from her and one text with a goodbye message. I was horrified and I felt that if I ever left the friendship or upset her she'd try again and might not be so fortunate. The Institution gave her mother two options she is sent to the psychiatric ward for nine months or given in and out of home therapy for six. Understandably she chose the therapy. Shortly after her detainment, her mother made the choice and she came home and contacted me via phone call. I decided to talk about her attempted suicide and appeal to her not to try and commit such a thing ever again for her and her family's sake. She listened and took it to heart, or so I thought months would pass before another incident as big as this. The next attempt is one I'll never forget, it was three A.M I was woken up by a phone call I checked to see who it was that possibly be calling this late I answered the phone without seeing the name and to my surprise and horror, it was Brianna I can remember the words she told me that night like there etched into my memory. She said to me in a quivering and nasally tone "I'm sorry but I just don't think I can keep going I just want you to know that I hope you live a good life and you will always be my best friend". Adrenaline rushed through my veins and my hands began shaking I started to tear and without hesitation, I simply said as sharply: "Don't, I care about you too much to know that you died in such a way think about your family and friends think about everyone this will affect before you do something stupid". She responded angrily "What friends do I really have besides you that care about me you know my family doesn't give a fuck if I die or not". I snapped and I said with as much compassion as I could ever muster with so much stress and care "I'm not the only one who cares about you. What about your brothers, your mother, your teachers. You do have people that care about your life and I'm not the only one", I began listing names of the people I knew cared about her to try and convince her this was not something she could do so carelessly. I was not about to let her throw her life away when she still had her whole life ahead of her. She began to sob and came back to her senses I would continue to speak to her until she calmed down and thought rationally. I was too scared to end the call as I didn't want her to slip back into that state of sadness. She told me I could sleep, I gave initial resistance but she reassured me she would not do anything stupid. I trusted her and she ended the call. I looked down at my hands, they were still shaking and I was profusely sweating I couldn't sleep that night after the events that had transpired so I watched breaking bad and comedies to calm me down and waited until I had to go to school. I would come to find that as time went on she became worse and worse at controlling her mental state. I thought I could help her and that I was helping her but this turned out to be a wasted effort she attempted another suicide attempt a year later but failed once again as her mother found her in time and she was rushed to the E.R. So far she had tried three times and failed all three, thank God she didn't succeed. The third attempt made me snap mentally I couldn't take it anymore and I cut off our friendship after a long and heated argument.  This would the last I spoke to her, I regret that decision to this day. As on December 31st, 2017 Brianna would no longer be with us. After such a long time pondering this I finally realize why Stacy warned me to abandon my friendship with her. My synopsis: pick your friends carefully. This has been a look into a broken mind. 

 

                           

                                                                                                                                                                 -AverageDrink signing out.

 

 

 

 

Edited August 21, 2018 by AverageDrink

[Nick 1,249 / 17,857]

This needs paragraphs, lol.

[AverageDrink 174 / 3,360]

ik but im lazy and so i just made it one shot.

[AverageDrink 174 / 3,360]

@Nick It is whatever I guess.

[Joshy 4,367 / 44,991]

Sorry to hear about your friend or whatever you may call her given the end of the story (choosing your friends).  I have no idea what you're talking about in regards to fantasy elements...  never seen one with the CPS involved.  Paragraphs would be nice.

[AverageDrink 174 / 3,360]

By fantasy elements, I meant a little bit of small flavor text to supplement the story here and there.

Apologies for the lack of paragraphs.

[Joshy 4,367 / 44,991]

Edit feature on the forums is quite nice 

 

 

The day is October first a day that will never leave my mind, as this was the day I met someone I don't think I'll ever have the ability to forget. My now former friend George introduced me to her that very day I didn't know it yet but this person would become something more than a passerby but a reminder of what the different winding roads each person travels can cause. But this would be the day that we became friends, Her name was Brianna but everyone called her "Bri". Formerly we were acquaintances from 8th grade English class before this day I didn't even know she existed she just was another one drop in the sea of faces seen each day each day as I ground through the education system. We seemed to enjoy the company of one and other, so her friend Stacey would come with her to our neighborhood and hang out with me and my friend George who introduced us as he lived down just about fifty or so meters from my house. We became somewhat of good friends and this led to a group being formed out of mutual friendship for all parties involved. They frequently came to visit us and hang out, from there weeks turned into months, by this point and time she dated my and the group continued on.

This would continue on for about 3 months until problems arise between Brianna and George turns out, George had done some very questionable and horrible things to her. He really did a number on her happiness, verbally abusing her when I and Stacy were not around and asking for sexual favors. We knew we had to intervene, so that's exactly what we did. We waited for George to come over as he was on his way so we waited for him to knock on the door and it began with Stacy and me being direct and to the point, Why? I at this point was fervently angry and I took control of the talking, " why would you do this George? Did you think you wouldn't get caught? What do you have to say for yourself? ". He began his explanation, "To be frank with you I don't know. I don't know much about many of the things I do but look, I could sit here and give you a bullshit explanation about why I did what I did to her but I know you've never done that to me. But I don't regret what I did if she decides to leave so be it." We were stunned by his answer we just simply can't believe that he would not even try to defend himself like we had theorized the night before he just came out and said it, at this point, we knew he was not someone we wished to continue to be friends with nor did we want him to go unpunished but we respected Bri's wish to leave this anonymous as she wanted it to "fade away" it would be years before I could fathom how she would be able to forgive him. 

They broke up and George became a distant memory we stopped speaking to him almost days after that confrontation. We carried on with school and life and the anger we felt towards him slowly subsided. Months passed until Bri and Stacy began having problems in their friendship and began to bitterly bicker,  Stacy cut ties with Bri and slowly stopped talking to me it would be quite a long time before I realized why she severed ties with Bri. Before she left from our lives she gave me a final warning and goodbye telling me through one of our last texts: " Brianna isn't someone you should keep around you'll regret in the long run if I were you I'd distance myself from her. " She never gave a reason she kept dodging questions as to why I should take such an action so I disregarded her warning and continued speaking to Bri. As time went on I grew more and more attached to the friendship I had developed with Bri and we came to be very close friends for years but as I became more close as a friend with her I learned things about her past and her situation. It was troubling and very depressing to watch as she deteriorated more and more as I knew her.  She never had much of a stable family as both of her parents were from my view completely deranged. 

Her father was a junky no good piece of shit who abused his wife and horribly treated his daughter, so much for a family man. He would come home drunk abuse physically and verbally his wife but more so his own daughter until it got to the breaking point. She was molested by her dad which was only stopped by her mother in a desperate attempt to gain custody of her child. It turns out her father Mathew was a sexual predator and had child pornography of his daughter and other children. When Bri was seven years old he was tried and convicted of possession and distribution of child pornography with other counts such as domestic abuse and battery. The C.P.S (Child Protective Services) gave his Sarah full custody of Brianna in hopes of giving her a better life with a much more suitable parental figure. Turns out the C.P.S were wrong she was no better but in a much different way than her husband, one just as damaging and longer spanning. Her mom at least had an excuse, she was lied to by her family, abused and raped from what I've been told. These events would come to shape her mom to be an obsessive control freak who isolated her socially and monitored every aspect of her daily activities down to when she was allowed to eat and what she could talk about to other people. This was partially successful but obviously not completely or I wouldn't know this much. This combination of terrible parenting caused Bri to slowly slip away mentally becoming emotionally unstable and leading to increasingly worrying results of the depression caused by this state of living. 

Unfortunately, the C.P.S have not been able to intervene as her mother is hellbent on making sure this information could not be relayed to the authorities as Brianna has tried several times to no avail and has been called a psychotic spinster trying to "hurt" her mother and brothers. She eventually gave up trying to leave this living situation and for some twisted reason still adamantly loves her abuser. It's a classic case of an abusive household and the effects it can hold on people. As the years passed I became a shoulder of comfort for whatever misfortune that had been dealt upon her and whatever misfortune she had caused upon herself. What I found most disturbing is her lack of self-awareness, constant mood swings, and lack of perception of how she keeps hurting herself. I've known of four relationships since our friendship that she has partaken in. All of them have ended the same way her, being mistreated and her blind eye to said mistreatment until too late. She has knowingly picked the worst kind of people and surrounded herself with them. Eventually becoming the subject of bullying by our classmates. This would come to cause her to try one of the many attempts at suicide I would know about. 

Her need of me to rationally give her support and be the pillar of reason became too strenuous and hurt our friendship dramatically as a result. Due to my own problems, I never realized how toxic this friendship was until I left it. Asking me to leave during any point of the friendship, later on, would have given you the response of I was being kept hostage as I would be reminded after one particular night. We had an argument over something petty leaving me frustrated and I ended the conversation on her the same night I received a text from her cousin that she had been admitted to the local mental institution for an attempted suicide by vehicular manslaughter I.E she had jumped in front of a moving truck on the highway close to her home after our argument luckily the man behind the wheel reacted quickly enough to slam the breaks and save her life. I would've known sooner but my phone died after the argument showing a list of phone calls from her and one text with a goodbye message. I was horrified and I felt that if I ever left the friendship or upset her she'd try again and might not be so fortunate. 

The Institution gave her mother two options she is sent to the psychiatric ward for nine months or given in and out of home therapy for six. Understandably she chose the therapy. Shortly after her detainment, her mother made the choice and she came home and contacted me via phone call. I decided to talk about her attempted suicide and appeal to her not to try and commit such a thing ever again for her and her family's sake. She listened and took it to heart, or so I thought months would pass before another incident as big as this. The next attempt is one I'll never forget, it was three A.M I was woken up by a phone call I checked to see who it was that possibly be calling this late I answered the phone without seeing the name and to my surprise and horror, it was Brianna I can remember the words she told me that night like there etched into my memory. She said to me in a quivering and nasally tone "I'm sorry but I just don't think I can keep going I just want you to know that I hope you live a good life and you will always be my best friend". Adrenaline rushed through my veins and my hands began shaking I started to tear and without hesitation, I simply said as sharply: "Don't, I care about you too much to know that you died in such a way think about your family and friends think about everyone this will affect before you do something stupid". She responded angrily "What friends do I really have besides you that care about me you know my family doesn't give a fuck if I die or not". I snapped and I said with as much compassion as I could ever muster with so much stress and care "I'm not the only one who cares about you. What about your brothers, your mother, your teachers. You do have people that care about your life and I'm not the only one", I began listing names of the people I knew cared about her to try and convince her this was not something she could do so carelessly. I was not about to let her throw her life away when she still had her whole life ahead of her. She began to sob and came back to her senses I would continue to speak to her until she calmed down and thought rationally. I was too scared to end the call as I didn't want her to slip back into that state of sadness. 

She told me I could sleep, I gave initial resistance but she reassured me she would not do anything stupid. I trusted her and she ended the call. I looked down at my hands, they were still shaking and I was profusely sweating I couldn't sleep that night after the events that had transpired so I watched breaking bad and comedies to calm me down and waited until I had to go to school. I would come to find that as time went on she became worse and worse at controlling her mental state. I thought I could help her and that I was helping her but this turned out to be a wasted effort she attempted another suicide attempt a year later but failed once again as her mother found her in time and she was rushed to the E.R. So far she had tried three times and failed all three, thank God she didn't succeed. The third attempt made me snap mentally I couldn't take it anymore and I cut off our friendship after a long and heated argument.  This would the last I spoke to her, I regret that decision to this day. As on December 31st, 2017 Brianna would no longer be with us. After such a long time pondering this I finally realize why Stacy warned me to abandon my friendship with her. My synopsis: pick your friends carefully. This has been a look into a broken mind.

Edited August 21, 2018 by Joshy
I use it too

[im not inactive you are 888 / 16,340]

That's dark asf, it's best when your friends call, one of my best friends in high school 2 years ago shot himself in the head, the bullet didn't kill him though, as he missed the shot. He was rushed to the ER, and died there. No one ever knew why he did it until some time after, and no one knew that he was really that destroyed inside, not until he actually did commit suicide at least. I still keep the video of our class project up on youtube as he was a funny guy, and a picture/invitation to his funeral in my wallet.

[ZombieSurvivalist 99 / 5,250]

@AverageDrink Make another story about a fantasy Porn Star then I will approve of it. 

 

[im not inactive you are 888 / 16,340]

Taken from reddit, here is another story:

 

It was weird, one day I was an only child, the next I had an older brother. My parents didn't even warn me. Just one day he arrived and took my room and I had to sleep in the basement.

He arrived in a large waxed raincoat. I remember the water droplets that hung to its surface as he leaned over me and offered his hand. I ran behind my mother's legs and stayed there. He smiled back. My mother apologised for me and that was that.

It was obvious after a few days that he was their favourite. I had a lot of issues and I knew I was a disappointment to them. I visited a therapist twice a week, though I didn't talk much. I never did. I think that was my main problem. I was fine. My parents thought otherwise.

One day, my new brother came downstairs and handed me a used painting set and canvases. I ignored him, upset he'd usurped me. He didn't say anything, instead, set up the easel and began to paint. He was incredible. I watched in awe as within minutes he had painted things I couldn't imagine were possible from a paint brush. He finished with a painting of a door. It looked familiar but I wasn't sure. He set down the paints and walked back upstairs. I stared at it for weeks. Then one day, I decided to try for myself.

At first I was terrible, but as the months rolled on I got better and better. I still didn't have the confidence to speak to my brother, but every now and then he'd make his way into the basement and look at what I'd painted. He'd stare at them with nostalgia in his eyes. He would cry. I though, hid behind the sofa, watching him mentally critique my work.

"Keep it up," he said in a hushed tone. The hairs on my neck stood up and I felt a warm glow around me, something I'd not felt before. So I continued to paint.

By the time I was a teenager, my brother was around less and less, but my painting was as good as what his was when he first showed me. I really wanted him to see what I'd created. It was all because of him after all.

I waited one day, in the living room. I stole glances out of the window, waiting for him to come home. When he did, I jumped out of my chair and ran to the door to greet him. He stepped back, as if not wanting to embrace me.

"Look at what I painted," I said to him.

My parents appeared surprised. Even though I was sixteen, I rarely spoke.

I ran to the basement door.

"I think you should follow him," my mother said to my brother.

I waited for what seemed like hours, until my brother walked down the stairs. I could barely see his face under the hood of his waxed jacket.

"What do you think?" I offered.

He stepped into the light, examining the painting. Tears rolled down his cheeks. I put my hand to my mouth.

"It's beautiful," he said quietly, and he began to cry.

Upset I raced over to him and hugged him.

"Thank you for teaching me," I said.

I then felt his body sway, I tried to hold onto him, but my grasp wasn't strong enough. He collapsed, hitting his head on the side of my desk and onto the floor.

---

The following months were the worst of my life. My brother was dead. With my mental history, I was sent to a psychiatric hospital. They said I had an episode and tried to kill my brother. I didn't. I swear. He fell.

They said it may have been a side effect of the medication I was on or my psychosis in general.

After many sessions with the in house psychiatrist, I was allowed access to painting material. To be honest, it wasn't that bad. I saw my parents once a week and I was able to paint. I thought about my brother a lot. I thought about that painting he did for me, the one of the door. I tried my best to remember it, and over and over I tried to paint it. Each time, I stood back and looked at it. Something wasn't right and I never knew what. Until one day, I got it spot on.

That's when I realised what it was of. It was the front door of our house. Seeing it in front of me, it was so obvious.

I peered at it from different angles. I remembered it all. I started to paint in all the little details. The room began to get cold, so I put on my jacket.

I placed the paints in my pocket when I was done and gazed in awe.

It was almost real.

I stared and cried. I wasn't going to see this front door for a long time, if ever. That frightened me. The longer I gazed, the more I wished I could just be standing outside it. Knocking on it. Waiting for my parents to answer.

I pretended I was standing outside. For the first time in months I felt free. I imagined the wind blowing as the rains fell. I imagined reaching out to turn the handle.

I closed my eyes and reached.

I could feel the rain on my forehead. I could feel the cool air. I could hear the water slap against my jacket.

I opened my eyes.

I was there. Outside my parent's house.

I panicked briefly before, almost on autopilot, walking towards the door.

I knocked.

I felt I must be dreaming.

Then the door opened. My mother stood there.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Mum, it's your son."

She tried to close the door. I placed my foot in the way.

"Please, just listen to me."

She looked into my eyes. There was a recognition in them, she knew I was truthful.

"Come on in," she said, confused.

I saw a little boy in the living room. I knelt down to talk to him. He ran behind his mother's legs. I smiled, remembering myself doing that.

I tapped my pocket, feeling the painting set in there. I knew what I needed to do.