JuicyBenny's TTT Rotation Mute/Ban Appeal

[AlphaOwl 307 / 7,603]

I’ve tried to refrain from posting anything here for a majority of the time to see what others had to say about the whole situation, but as the voting nears a close, I’d like to bring forth a collection of accounts from players that have been victim to some of your actions, whether it be toxicity or interactions in game. I feel that it’s necessary to represent these individuals as I feel all accounts should be taken into consideration, even the unspoken ones. Although this is not representative of my true feelings regarding you, I will back up the information that I gathered from what I've personally discussed of and seen. Of course, behind every opinion there is bias, so I can’t necessarily take their word entirely for an accurate account. However, what I can do is bring forth a lot of what people consider of you and your actions, in order to seek the change within yourself instead of only going after what was mentioned.

 

With that in mind, here are a majority of the notes that I figured were the most important bringing up, as well as some agreements from me that can back up their cases:

• Mistreatment of players who are random players/regulars who are not friends with you, whether it be calling them out excessively or rude behavior towards people that’s generally uncalled for.

  • You’ve led efforts to paint specific individuals in a bad light, whether it be through slight interactions you’ve had on the server or Discord and blowing them up to sizable proportions in efforts to get punishment dished out against them. One of the worst cases that I’ve seen from you is calling one of our Server Managers a “sociopath” just because of some interactions on Discord or some poorly thought out decisions.

  • In some cases criticism was well deserved (as stated by the players), but you often went a little overboard with it, sometimes throwing in insults.

  • Some players may not realize that you’re extremely upset about something and may accidentally do something against you, but instead you start treating them like shit and belittle them for their actions.

  • I’ve also gotten reports from some that you’d revenge RDM players if they might’ve transgressed you in some sort of way you didn’t believe was fit, whether it be a previous RDM or a report.

• Despite some players hearing of your reputation and what not, they’ve tried to reach out and befriend you. However, you often ignored their friendship and took some actions made by them as attempts to harass you, which would lead you to mistreat these players by blocking them or RDMing them if they did something small. 

• Players are often discouraged from hopping on the server simply for the fact that you are on, as they don’t want a repeat experience again so they avoid the server in general. Even regarding the appeal process, people are avoiding getting involved just because of how much they’ve gone through to deal with you.

• You would work against Traitor buddies by undoing their T traps/weapons, just because you don’t like how they play.

• RDMing people, regardless of them being friends or not. Not only are you very exclusive with it (being generally with people you consider friends), but your playfulness with it leads people to believe they can join in on the fun, which isn’t often the case. Even though RDM shouldn't be encouraged, you should keep a level of consistency with how you do it with others in general.

• There’s a level of hypocrisy with how you treat things. One moment you can be mad at someone for doing something KOSable or it pissed you off, but you yourself could be replicating what they were doing the next round after. You’ve complained about a lot of leniency towards handling certain players, but at the same time you don’t recognize the amount of leniency given to you to keep you unbanned with all of the things mentioned above in consideration.

People are flawed, it’s just human nature. But that doesn’t always give us the excuse to only think of people like that if they’re not good in our eyes. Everyone here isn’t out to make you their enemy, but in some cases you make it seem that way for them. I’d like to bring attention to the response made by Davoony at the beginning of the year on your previously denied permaban appeal. Similarly in this appeal, it’s good to accept responsibility for your actions, but it still nonetheless does not excuse the behavior behind the incidents now brought to your attention. These shouldn’t have happened in the first place, especially this being your THIRD ban appeal for a SECOND permaban. You did start making strides towards the end, but it wasn’t enough to outweigh the bad in the grand scheme of things. 

 

Even with the stuff mentioned previously in that appeal, you also had guidelines given by both of our Server Managers to follow to keep safe. Yet not only were they likely disregarded, but you’ve also disrespected both of them in more ways in one, especially with what I’ve seen you talk of Paul. He said he only dealt with all the shit talk because he felt bad for your situation, and the stuff said about him by you is by far enough toxicity in general to warrant a complete separate ban in my opinion, yet he handled it like a champ and let you play.

 

I don’t try to have grievances with the players on the server, in most cases I often try to befriend people regardless of their reputation. That goes the same way with you honestly. I have no personal issues with you, but I can’t just stand by and let all this go unchecked for the others that come to play on Rotation. When I first started getting more involved with the server and prior to your first permaban, I honestly only ever got to see that good side of you, like many others have too. But after becoming an admin, it was honestly really shocking to see just how toxic you were, as I hadn't suspected the behavior would be consistent across multiple people. A lot of the time during the unban period, I often told you of what you needed to improve or stop doing, but I was met with defensive text-walls doubling down on your stance. After so many, I wasn’t even sure if there was any hope for improvement.

 

There are a lot of ideas that I agree with other players who have discussed in this appeal so far. I say this will all due respect, but I think there’s a lot of issues that got to be sorted out within yourself, with the first being to take a break from the server entirely. For a long majority of 8 months of being first banned, you had the server on your mind with hopes of an accepted appeal. But sometimes you just got to preoccupy yourself with other things before you get into the right mindset for change. After that, who knows? Maybe you’d get in the right mentality and not actually exert toxic traits onto the Discord and server. And maybe I believe in a third chance for you only because the first chance I saw through my rose-tinted glasses and never noticed much of the bad. But it’s not for me to decide to change, it’s up to you. And MAYBE there’s a chance, but I can't make that choice for you. I wish you the best of luck with this appeal, and I do hope you take these things that I’ve stated into consideration.

Edited September 28, 2021 by AlphaOwl
omfg how do I mess up some grammar and repetition fml

[JuicyBenny 91 / 0]

I cant argue with most of this. Cause its fully accurate, typically i liked to take specific scenarios to paint it as the only part in some complaints when there are multiple. However, im not gonna do that here cause it goes away from the main part....

7 hours ago, AlphaOwl said:

You would work against Traitor buddies by undoing their T traps/weapons, just because you don’t like how they play.

This however im pretty sure this just refers to c4s i don't recall fucking up other Traitor buddies traps unless i literally HAD to do it. Whether it be if i didn't do it the Innos would gun me down or i cannot get past or to the area of which i have to go to unless i do. C4s on the other hand yes. on roy specifically if the T buddy died i would grab their c4. Partly because i hated the c4 montra within roy. i still do, and partly to get proven in some sense. or at the very least trust worthy within the innos. But that's the only example i can think of in this regard.

The other stuff is accurate my mistreatment is noted, my bouts with paul is also noted. I apologized to him recently all the same. me and him butted heads on a lot of things and i took them too far. In my estimation there were elements of sociopathic behavior. im aware cause i also show those same tendencies from time to time. Im a Person who calls things as is and i don't sugar coat or hide a lot and that's been a big downfall on me. Cause it means my filter is capped off. Its lead me to a lot of trouble. gaining that filter has been a task. Im still even now working on it outside the server things. Ive slowed down alot on interactions with people because unless im generally in a jolly mood im making sure i don't do what i did before. Let me note i don't think badly of paul however i just expressed myself terribly to him. I insulted when i didn't need to not just to him but to others.
Part is how i talk as well i wont say its not. how i talk to people is.... unique? idk. how i explain it but my personality on the words i choose and when are different Ive been told. Sometimes actually i try and use those same insults as a comedic method of transitioning to make things not so awkward so we can play and game and not have weird feels man. ya know? but that has been....missed a good amount of the time. i think it comes with not making it as obvious as i was. which i thought i was but here we are.

People tried to befriend me that's true. I treated them unfairly. i will say there are some cases of context not being there for some which i remember about a month ago i had expressed which those were but for a lot you are correct. I think a lot was down to.... poor timing and my choice of approach during that. As you know i am a targeted person more times than not. hell sometimes i invite the targeting so others don't get fucked and its only me. Sometimes i don't but there are signs to a targeting. consistent signs of it and we've been aware of those. If someone does those to a perfect T of those targeting signs. yes i will auto assume that is the case. i cant find any reason they would perform the same actions as others who have targeted me maliciously in the past would. But....there have been cases of misidentifying that. Napalm is one of those.
Let me just say..... if i blocked them...they DID do something malicious. i make sure of it. The only case where that was different was napalm and i have the block list if need be to prove that. it has old players from back in the day who hate me to a core and others who i have extensive problems with which you guys know about.
I do think i have the right to block who i feel but on the same end it doesn't excuse me of then being a complete ass wipe to those people when i could just ignore them as a whole after that.

Yes i am very hypocritical on a lot of things. I have a tendency to get over specific to justify why i do it and why its fine and why another person did it and it wasen't fine that sort of thing but it does lead this... superiority complex type feel to it. I am well aware of that and i have been aware of that for much longer than this entire process.


As much as this appeal and this ban and stuff has taken a lot of my time and a good amount of stress ive taken time to focus on a lot. in fact the only times i had this appeal open for these 14 days was just to respond and close out. not right away i would have it open most of the day but eventually i kept it closed until i got a reply. id talk in the discord but i tried to vein away from thinking too much about it so i could focus on work. Focus on completing Yakuza or something. ya know my usual shit.
I cant... fully get the server out of my head. I don't think i can i never could before. There was no grantee for an un-ban last time. but i just... fought for it.
Though...there was more on the improvement end i think..a few realize.

I am on a furry server i call it my home. im a staff member on there. i pride myself with that server. id do anything for it. I am on there everyday. all day. when im working driving all day im in their vc all day. I talk to people all day there and i notice a lot of stuff. i have friends that are super close that tell me things and my girlfriend even does the same. A LOT of what the concerns are here... have happened over there.... ive made a connection with a lot of events to really see how universal it is. But while ive made improvements over there with it. here i had not.... my focus was more on other shit than improving what i thought was already "improved"
which is weird cause in the same sense i say it a lot ive worked a lot on how i say things or what i say here to what i say on my furry server. i cannot say some of the shit here i do over there. ive worked on watching my conduct but yet i have not done it with the other shit as much.

But the servers gonna be on my mind at the very least in the back.... in-game im a lot different than i am outside of it. So its hard to tell improvement in-game. it always has been. Im not gonna say im gonna be perfectly 100% switched right away ill need  to catch myself a lot but its a lot of internal shit I will need to work through. hell i was already not playing as often as i used to tbh. i made a post about it even a bit before the ban. I think i was.... nearing that.. taking time away to do my shit and reflect and also improve slightly. i was nearing a good portion of that but.. the past shit caught up with me. like you said it doesn't outweigh it and your right. it should have been sooner. im sorry.

Personally i think there's a chance. I hope so anyway. This is the only server i find much enjoyment in. my playtime compatibility to hours on steam can attest to that. I know a lot of players have that confidence in me and a lot have told me you need to fucking change and show that fucking change. Its been drilled into me. I cant promise it immediately. Im still gonna play like i have been on a game play level but as for conduct ill be... slowing how i typically respond or present myself i think cause i need to catch niches in how i do it.

[Pyros 1,796 / 30,750]

Denied.