Teach me: The Birds and Bees

[FSG 88 / 3,216]

Teach me the birds and the bees in the worst possible way 

Can't wait for this to get closed 

[Winter 1,707 / 25,782]

 

Edited February 28, 2018 by Winter

[annoying furry 6,300 / 63,975]

 

[Chormee 2,973 / 29,227]

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

 

no wait

Edited February 28, 2018 by charmy

[Kubnair 1,158 / 17,225]

You put your butt in her vagina

[Aireesan 115 / 3,568]

1. Hit it than quit it
2. Ejaculate and evacuate
3. Rock her box and change the locks

[Toasted_Chromosomes 249 / 4,935]

 

 

 

Edited February 28, 2018 by Toasted_Chromosomes

[Nap14hockey 1,244 / 17,875]

2 hours ago, Aireesan said:

1. Hit it than quit it
2. Ejaculate and evacuate
3. Rock her box and change the locks

I mean, the original
Kum and Go

Then
Blow your load and hit the road

Jizz and Whizz

Edited February 28, 2018 by Nap14hockey

[Aireesan 115 / 3,568]

1 hour ago, Nap14hockey said:

I mean, the original
Kum and Go

Then
Blow your load and hit the road

Jizz and Whizz

SHOOT THE JIZZ AND OUT YOU IS

BUST THE NUT AND OFF YOU STRUT

BLOW YOUR LOAD AND OFF YOU GO

SMASH THAT GASH AND THEN YOU DASH

Edited February 28, 2018 by Aireesan

[-_Fx_- 666 / 11,186]

White creamy stuff spews from yo ballsac out yo dick hole into a girls veggie hole

[Cassie 1,226 / 23,065]