_Rocket_ 656 / 8,277 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 Hey, trash panda is talking. The past couple of months have been extremely eventful for me. There's a lot of details I'm going to leave out for privacy reasons. However I will give a general jist. My mental health has been on a steady decline since 2017, something I was totally blind to. It all came to a boil about 2 months ago. Suicidal ideation reached a pique and I came up with a suicidal plan that I was going to follow up with. I informed 3 close friends of what I was about to do with the intention to help them grieve sooner. However one of them called the police and stopped me before I could follow through with my plan. This landed me in Cottonwood Creek Behavioral Hospital, a mental hospital of which I had a week long stay at. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and told I have anxiety. This explained so much for me. I genuinely thought this was how everyone felt, and sometimes I just thought it was me being a naturally bad person. My self esteem was extremely low due to the depression I did not know I had. Thankfully, my self esteem has recovered tremendously since my diagnosis. However, I left too early. My mental health issues were so deeply routed at this point that another crisis situation was inevitable. Sure enough, 2 weeks later I had a really bad suicidal ideation episode that I informed my family about. They took me back to the hospital. I was in the hospital for a month and a half. I left yesterday. My birthday was 2 days ago as well, and I am 18 now. I can tell people I had my 18th birthday in a mental hospital lol Therapy has helped me to glide on a stable surface, but I still require long term treatment before I'm safe to go home. Due to this reason, I now live in a shelter. Yes it's a homeless shelter, but it's a place to sleep. I can't complain. I will be going to treatment groups for another couple months. By then I may be safe to go home. But until then, I'm going to be out on the streets living life to the best of my ability. Oh and fun fact. Do you guys know pseudo bulbar effect? It's a mental condition where you can have uncontrollable laughing and/or crying fits. It was famously shown in the movie "Joker". Yes, it's a real condition. And I developed it, sadly lol. I have the laughing fit portion of it. Strong emotions trigger it, the stronger the emotion, the worse the laughing fit. Sometimes I can't breathe during them. People tell me it's like a scene from a horror movie 😕 Anger and extreme stress cause the worse laughing fits. However I think these laughing fits have been developing for years. I have had a tendency to chuckle when I'm overly stressed. I think this was early signs of pseudo bulbar effect. Thanks for reading. I write programs and stuff. If you need to contact me, here is my discord tag: Dustin#6688 I am a busy person. So responses may be delayed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexis 578 / 12,012 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 Lot's of love! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krucial 7 / 460 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 Edited February 25, 2021 by Krucial Best of luck and I hope the treatment works out for you. Edited February 25, 2021 by Krucial Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Rocket_ 656 / 8,277 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 @Jerry Hat Trick this response made me smile. I strongly appreciate it, man. I write programs and stuff. If you need to contact me, here is my discord tag: Dustin#6688 I am a busy person. So responses may be delayed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora is smelly 192 / 5,018 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 @_Rocket_ so does this mean me you and @Aurora csgo comp again? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheJitFace 699 / 18,162 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 We spoke a few times I believe and from my interactions with you, I can tell that you are a very kind person. I also noticed that you are very skilled at computer programming, and especially for someone at your age. I am only a year younger than you and I could never be as talented as you. Like seriously, you are really good. I believe that you have a bright future ahead. jitticus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Rocket_ 656 / 8,277 Report Post Posted February 25, 2021 Edited February 25, 2021 by _Rocket_ - Edit Reason: grammar r fun 59 minutes ago, CSS ZE Secretary said: @_Rocket_ so does this mean me you and @Aurora csgo comp again? Lol dude I'm literally living in a shelter. Unless the library has a graphics card installed into their tiny HP computers I'm sadly not playing any games for a while hahaha 54 minutes ago, TheJitFace said: We spoke a few times I believe and from my interactions with you, I can tell that you are a very kind person. I also noticed that you are very skilled at computer programming, and especially for someone at your age. I am only a year younger than you and I could never be as talented as you. Like seriously, you are really good. I believe that you have a bright future ahead. I'm gonna be real with you, dude. I'm a wreck. I was pretty much sheltered at home for most my teenage years. It gave me the time to practice programming. The only talent I really have is singing haha Edited February 25, 2021 by _Rocket_ grammar r fun I write programs and stuff. If you need to contact me, here is my discord tag: Dustin#6688 I am a busy person. So responses may be delayed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VilhjalmrF 2,099 / 30,694 Report Post Posted February 27, 2021 wish the best for ya! Average HL2RP Enjoyer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options... Achievements
Joshy 4,370 / 45,021 Report Post Posted February 27, 2021 Same here. Wish you well. I'm glad your friends said something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alucard33rd 1,175 / 15,145 Report Post Posted February 27, 2021 I overcame all of my mental/social problems through meditation and mindfulness. Being aware and making the effort to overcome issues will be your greatest success. Get better, don't just accept what people tell you. It's all in the brain, so learn to overcome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Rocket_ 656 / 8,277 Report Post Posted March 5, 2021 I decided to record a laughing fit to show what it is like. Check this out when you can! I write programs and stuff. If you need to contact me, here is my discord tag: Dustin#6688 I am a busy person. So responses may be delayed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshy 4,370 / 45,021 Report Post Posted March 6, 2021 What does it mean to say that it's pseudo? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
