An unfortunate longterm goodbye

[JuicyBenny 91 / 0]

Hi, betcha didnt expect me to be here again.

I made a post not too long ago on taking a break from TTT to focus on other life things. That post has aged fucking poorly as i really didn't do that.
However since then events happened and a ban and a failed appeal and we are where we are. Its aight.

I kinda made a commitment that if the appeal failed i would leave for a certain period of time. Its a multitude of reasons collected over the span of two months. But i wish to better myself and not focus on GFL as a whole for a good bit. It added unneeded stress to myself along with the long standing issues i have had for a good while. I need time not thinking about Rotation and its people. I need time bettering and improving myself on the main aspects that need improving. Being a better person above most.
 

I left everything rather abruptly and didn't say much else. So i guess this post is to at least give some light onto where i went a few days ago.

However unfortunately while i thought this would have been while a good amount of time. not a long term thing. it has become a long term thing. Recently i went into the doctors to get some issues checked and turns out i have a pretty big problem with my heart. My left Atria is not working properly which is causing irregular heart beating which is getting very dangerous. The climb of my heart beats is staggering. In addition to that I was born with Pectus excavatum. Google it its like a dent in your chest basically. I was told when i was younger that when i got older more than likely ill have issues with it down the line but stressed surgery wouldn't be needed then. Well turns out that "issues" happened sooner than expected as my breast bone is pushing against my heart. So both side of my heart basically are damaged. Left atria aint working right, and the front and right sides of it are being pushed by my breast bone. However the rapid heart beat is not related to either of those two. So i have some unknown issue with my heart beat as well.

All and all, im pretty much guaranteed surgery at this stage. With it being as serious as it is im advised to not do anything to induce stress or do anything to make my heart climb. The fact i have been doing things that have made it climb for most of this year is already bad. So im in a preventative stage.

That said with the surgery. The time to find out the unknowns, my work, and all the things in between. This will be more extended than i expected. Hell i guess it gives me time right? unless i die then whoops lol. But hell if that happens yall know how now XD

With that said i guess i got to do the atting and stuff right. guess so

@Duck. Though me and you never really got along outside of game shit i respect you a lot and hope you continue to do well.
@BraeLyn2212 Are you gay? i never really figured it out or not but i had this thought you were gay and i just cannot tell
@Paul. Make rotation great, continue to do great shit.

@JadedJade Sorry i never really listened to you when it mattered. I don't know where your roads will take you but i do hope you stay well regardless.

@Clavers Had good fun with you lad. stay well and same with @HeavenlyAsHell the two of you have been wonderful
@Random Noise Ill miss your jihads coming at me all the time. right as i get that feeling back it slips away from me again.

@Avi Im sorry for the stress i put onto you. I hope you stay well and i hope i can apologize properly one day
@Meow Chan Keep it up my man. I had a blast with you and hopefully school don't take up too much of your time cause you are a joy within the server.
@KeiraJJ Glad i got to help you when i could and im glad to have had some fun moments with ya
@Mystaldi Penis

@TheOneOnlyHero Ill miss your laughs as they were genuinely the fucking best out of anyone. no one had a more contagious laughter than you. I hope you enjoy yourself and have a great time my man.
@iLoveNapalm Thank you for being there for me when you never needed to. thank you for accepting to befriend me even when i had tossed you. Thank you for sticking your neck out for me when there was no benefit in doing so. I'm happy to have fixed something i broke with you. Wise guys live on.
@NorthernBear You don't check forums often but sorry i fucked up again my friend XD hope when you get that new PC you play like you used to.

@NOT Karkles Thank you! just for being you idk you were the first person to genuinely ask questions about my sona which seems like a dumb thing to be thankful for but when you are constantly targeted and harassed for something that's part of you and for the first time a person  genuinely asks things and is interested in them. It feels nice.
@Kettermelon shiiiiiiit. You know its always fun playing with you and vibing with you. Don't spend all your money on cases please. i hope you can continue like you always have been.
@shinywhiscash My friend my buddy my pal my mate. I'm sorry you are left without me again. You are literally my other half when it comes to TTT. I don't really feel complete without you. I hope you can continue like you did before without me. also i know i told you before but ill say it again uh sorry for getting you banned XD clean record gone. If all things work out you know ill be back and we can continue like we used to once again.
@AlphaOwl Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being that friend that has stuck it out for me a lot more than a lot of other people, you've talked with me and to me about a lot of things and through a lot of shit when really it would have been easier to just ignore and let it go but ya stayed there for me. I wish i could have taken a lot of your advise sooner but i just didn't. I think out of everyone in Rotation i think Ive talked to you the most. I really do think your the guy i connect to the most even if we never talked for a whole game it still resonated. I made promises to you and ill keep them to the best of my ability.

Aight there's my many of ats. get pinged nerds. I hope to see you all again someday. Rotation still has a place in my heart even if my heart is currently failing on me lmao. Until that day i return if it comes. Take care all of you. Anyone i missed you know who you be if you were a friend to me. Please take care. don't blow up the god damn server xd I love you all dearly.

[TheOneOnlyHero 21 / 767]

I hope your condition gets better man, I enjoyed playing with you and i'm glad to have met you even if it was a short time. You genuinely gave me good laughs and I enjoyed every moment with you. I hope one day it'll happen again, message me anytime and take care of yourself.  

[Kettermelon 136 / 4,927]

Its been a wild ride Mr. Benny, and I enjoyed almost every bit of it. I truly hope you can come back as a reformed man and regain your position in the unbanned club. I believe that this break will be good for you, I could see that Rotation was a major detriment to your mental health before you even got unbanned the first time, and it was massively increased when you where unbanned leading you to make some pretty questionable decisions. Where ever you decide to go, I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed Rotation, and I hope to see you back again in the long run.

[annoying furry 6,300 / 63,955]

the few times I've spoken with you, you were pretty chill. Sad to see you go.

 

hope your condition improves, good luck

[Alexis 578 / 12,012]

Wow, no mention of me? SMH.

Jokes aside, hopefully you return soon with good improvements, I look forward to it.

[Meowww 12 / 1,034]

It's been a while since I meet you for the first time. We have played a lot. Tbh, you are very fun to play with. You helped me out a little bit when I became trial. And also you always make me smile. But now I feel bored not seeing you on the server but I hope you return soon with your improvements and be careful not to split your beans again.

[Rhysin_ 540 / 13,182]

I only played with you a few times, but 95% of the time I did you were chill. I hope to see you back again eventually having improved yourself. This is sadness

[Lonely 151 / 4,215]

Didn’t play too much but talked a few times. Sad to see ya go. Come back soon!

Good luck!

[VilhjalmrF 2,099 / 30,689]

rip

[AlphaOwl 307 / 7,593]

While our chats may have produced staggering results, I always enjoyed our back and forths and getting to understand each other more and more. Additionally too, you were there to help out when I needed it and we've had a lot of laughs. There's always two sides of a coin, and often not a lot of people get to see both. But I think understanding how both sides came to be gives you a better understanding of the whole coin in general and why the coin may do what it does. It sucks that sometimes it just gotta end up on one side after it falls. Get some rest and take care of your health mate. And when and if you're back, hopefully I'll still be around to greet ya. 

[Duck. 489 / 0]

I can't say I'm sad, this is for the best, you need to get away from the community and focus on something else, I could feel your mental health break while being here. Take it from someone whose mental health took a heavy hit while here, sometimes it's for the best to leave.

 

It was fun in game with you, me you and Northern vibed well, the mass amount of prop kills we got on each other will live on (and I maintain I'm the best prop killer) and those times will be missed. Go get yourself better and come back a much healthier person, will be good to see you again.

[Deme 22 / 1,051]

No mention? My disappointment.

Fr, you were cool guy. GFL won't be the same without you. Hope shit gets better

[NOT Karkles 64 / 0]

Going to miss you~ !!!! (but you're in my discord so,,,, hehe)

Also idk why I never got a notification for this I'm so sorry this is late, LMAO.

I'm going to miss reading you argue about hitreg and stuff in general, you're always a joy to spend time with.

[Nocapp 21 / 0]

Im sorry it didnt work out I was rooting for you juicy hopefully we will see the great return when you feel better 

Edited October 19, 2021 by Nocapp

[PSYCHOWARRIOR34456 1 / 813]

wish you good luck for the surgery ❤️

[edboy 61 / 1,337]

juicybenny

[HeavenlyAsHell 22 / 794]

Sorry I'm not always on the forums but I did enjoy playing with you most of the times and hope things get better for you soon ❤

[iLoveNapalm 134 / 3,969]

At first i thought leaving a like and letting the post be was enough but I've sorta come around and thought I should definitely say something. JuicyBenny I know you hated me at first and times were rough between us but to me it didn't matter. Believe me, when I "stuck my neck out for you" it was no problem man, it was really the least I could do. I've said this before and I'll always say it, you're a fine guy, just a break will clear your mind and fix you up like you need. I really do hope everything goes well for you, including that surgery, and really do wish the best for you as I do with anyone. You're a real wise guy, and I look out for fellow wise guys 🙂