Council and their complete screw ups.

[Joshy 4,368 / 44,996]

Was getting to that.  Thanks!  You may have noticed some posts were hidden. 

 

It's a very touchy and hot topic.  For that reason people react more strongly to the comments made here compared to a lot of other threads.  I personally have a strong preference for leniency, but the team has decided  on a direction they are going to be a little bit more critical of low quality content.  We're all trying to be consistent with each other; we're also trying to avoid warnings if we can although it's still a possibility.

 

The reason for keeping this topic open is we want to be transparent and allow people to voice their opinions and perspectives that have been brought up.

 

Example of low quality content that might be hidden is something like (just making fake examples here)

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It's just a game.  Get over yourself.

 

Something else that might be hidden is something like this

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*insert very thoughtful sentence or two here* but you're kind of a dick and nobody likes you

 

A good strategy to not get tangled in that is to really think about what your posting.  Try not to make it about a person; focus on a topic.  Try not to name and shame.  I think that will help a lot.  You can also talk about your own experience too say for instance maybe you applied for a position and you felt that your application was more carefully vetted than others.

 

I think a few good things that could still be talked about is like:

• Application process for team positions. 
• The flow or process if you don't get along very well with a council member or team leader.
• Demotion process where do people draw the line
• Accountability for people in higher tiered positions making not very good statements (are there are higher standards for them)? 
• Opinions about the council rework and its direction.

Edited December 29, 2020 by Joshy

[oCall Me Shifty 22 / 637]

I wanna make this as efficiently as i possibly can, firstly i want to disclaim that im attempting to come from a mutual standpoint here. In the time that i've been here, from back then and from my return, moving forward till today, I've seen enough of a chunk from duck. I've also considered his potential personal issues as a huge factor to his behavior as well. Now i dont know the full story of everything, duh. I'm simply another person who has witnessed what others have already more or less. Theres alot of matters im sure, that cannot be made public for the reasons laid out already by other higher staff members, however, for the matters that i have seen and such, i want to say the execution of everything so far has been... so poor. As mentioned before im talking about the public side and im not bashing on anyone in specific. So its been said duck has been given multiple chances in regards to how he did things in terms of a social standpoint, as well as explained to him thoroughly but to be honest, with newer information coming out, there is simply aspects MOSTLY no one can relate to. I dont want to mention some of those here because i dont feel like its my place to, rather i urge those to learn what i have. I.E discord. Simply put, i truly believe this matter should be further evaluated and MAYBE determined differently. I know the decisions have been made already but anything is subject to change. We all eagerly await to see what duck can say, as do i. Simply put, i would like to see a different outcome if possible with the all the right approaches. I'm not saying to excuse duck but to really sit and fully understand everything and then make a move, for him. Sadly i've seen more attack responses than i have for responses that can voice something reasonable. Though some exist already but cmon ya'll..

[Worgee 812 / 13,264]

I guess Duck never finished dinner 😕 Hope he's okay

[calebevb 106 / 3,072]

Okay can we all agree that MC and Modded TTT are both completely fucked by not poggers admins here?

[Duck. 489 / 0]

I'm still typing, but went to bed, will finish tomorrow 

[Duck. 489 / 0]

Gumb4ll'98
 

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That transphobic part is pretty much taken out of context. Before Jesse/Rosa became admin, I asked them why they had that MtF tag in their name and their response was that it exposed the toxic individuals (or people who were just up to no good) to try and make fun of her for it, and she wanted to argue with these individuals and let people on the server to know that these people are just terrible people in general. My response to that was that she should not have that in her name because that would be openly trying to get drama and toxicity on the server when drama/toxicity doesn't need to be there in the first place, and she did it and i thought she would be better because of it (wasn't exactly the case).

This I wasn't aware of, it was all apart of an abuse report made on Jinzu back in August.

 

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My second disgreement with you is that you argue that Jinzu broke his own rules (which may or may not be the case as it's hard to tell based on the screenshot alone), but i remember when i made an abuse report on one of your admins for actually breaking the rules on your own server and your response was that it was fine, when it was in fact not fine (another server manager had to actually come in and tell me the situation was resolved after i discussed my disconcern with your response to that situation). It may be petty to bring it up but we're all bringing receipts here.

Summary of that was that one of his admins killed someone for having a T-weapon like 30s into the round without a T being dead, so the admin killed the person who claimed the T-weapon and said that no way no one would have a T-item that early without any T's being dead, which i refuted that a T could've just deliberately dropped the T-item (which i have done before)

I talk about all of the abuse reports with Brae before making any response. We then got more information about misbehaviour from this admin and they were dealt with accordingly. But for that situation that was talked about in the abuse report, it was dealt with as we both agreed.

 

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I also made an abuse report on you about your discord moderating behaviour and i didn't get any response from you so i don't think you actually saw that. But it was just going over the fact that you were inconsistent with your punishments and descriptions of those punishments.

The first instance is warning people in MC for posting memes in general but not immediately warning his own admin for posting memes in Rot General until i called him out on it.

The second instance is him warning a few people for posting NSFW related content that wasn't necessarily NSFW but his description for it did not match how he handled that situation.

I'm not able to respond to abuse reports made about me. And the difference there was that there were multiple memes being posted in mc-general and only one posted in rot-general. i had been going throught that whole day dealing with MC General acting out because of their offtopic channel being gone. And the NSFW content was minor, where you guys were talking about lolis and shotacon and leaking to a certain hentai website and putting the numbers to certain hentai mangas on the channel too. Hence why only warned.
 

 

Pyros

 

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Please inform yourself prior to making such claims. Council had nothing to do with that decision and I, alone as the Division Leader of Garry's Mod division, took the call. Council members did criticize my decision. Don't blame all when they had nothing to do with this.

I only said Council because they were involved in it, and you were apart of Council at that time so I thought you guys were working on it together.

 

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I will use Bue as example. She did a very good job on Rust. Got promoted due to it, people that are not around Rust division will only see as getting roles because of gender. Salad, who has been in GFL for years, did a good job and was promoted to other positions, I fail to see how it compares to your old community where the owner gave someone a role for existing.

I just didn't want to watch the community go down the same hole, as I do love it here. Hence why I keep comparing the two.

 

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If that happens, doesn't that mean your arguments are bad and/or missing parts?

I just meant that Liloz has picked at what I've said many times before, and was worried it'd happen again.

 

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By this logic, everything that happens in a private discord shouldn't be punished?

Not at all, but surely criticism where only staff and team members can see isn't that bad? Or am I alone in thinking that?

 

Nick
 

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Let's just start with your demotion. This is not some spur of the moment decision, but rather months of trying to work with you. Many staff members have had talks with you regarding conduct, but it would always repeat itself. A little over a week ago (December 19th) this culminated in a stern message from Pyros where you were told to pick between staying as an admin and work on your behavior or leave the staff team. Pyros was very generous and allowed you to stay as manager (albeit with a 24-hour suspension) after you promised to work on your tone, reread everything before you send it, and you even went as far to promise going no-contact with most other staff. However, only a little over a week later, you had already relapsed into the old patterns which you clearly showed in your interaction with Salad. This was the final straw; all our leniency had been used up. I then made the decision to demote you.

I wasn't trying to relapse into old patterns, I was just tired and wanted to get everything out of my system to try and move on. It didn't work how I wanted as instead of a discussion, he went to you. I just wanted to talk.

 

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• The handling of the mentioned server manager was a GMOD decision; not a Council decision. His punishment might have been too mild, but he used it as an opportunity to work on himself and get the issues sorted. And he has since then tried to repair relations, but from what I have seen this has not been reciprocated.

I have received no message from Jinzu regarding repairing relations after the abuse report was made. He has instigated more trouble in Rotation since then, with him and some MC admins and players targeting rot-general to personally attack me as they "hate my guts".

 

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• The mod team ordeal was a mess; I think everyone knows that and has commented on it; which is good. The Council took all of this into consideration and did their best to rectify the things that went wrong by e.g. sending out apologies and allowing old moderators to somewhat smoothly join the new team.

And that's all well and good, but the fact it needed to get that far is a problem in and of itself. And I'm not bringing these up to reopen old wounds, I'm bringing them up to inform where I lost confidence.

 

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• Your remark about Salad was in bad taste, and you should know that it would be a very bad idea to do so. A lot of eyes were on you at this point especially since you had already brought the matter of your moderation position up to me. I am not sure what you expected. Salad did not ask for you to "lay everything on the table", and what you did to him is harassment in my book; unacceptable conduct from a staff member to another staff member no matter if you send it in a public channel, internal channel, or a private message.

Like I said above, I just wanted everything out there. I was tired. I am tired. I just wanted to get it all on the table. This makes it seem like I should only ever send happy compliments and am not allowed to share my reasons why I don't trust people.

 

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• You pointing fingers at Liloz and others does not help your case. You should reflect on your own actions instead of justifying them by arguing that others did something "worse".

My point in posting this point is that I've been held at such an insanely high standard, where I can't even joke around anymore for fear of being punished for it. You know of the toxicity of Liloz and you do nothing, you allow him to continue it. You're enabling it by not doing anything about it.

 

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No one here is doing anything with malicious intent; we are all just trying our best

As am I, I'm doing my best for my community, for Rotation, but I can't just sit back and be silent when I see poor decisions being made (in my eyes), it's like I'm being told I have to be silent.

 

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I have tried to be very objective here, but I have to say that I am very disappointed that you used the argument that you are no longer harassing another staff member as a way to justify your continued harassment of Salad (as can be seen in the last message in your recent DMs). And you even seemed proud of it when we talked and tried to use it as some gotcha-moment.

I have never tried to harass anyone, I've called out behaviour I don't like, decisions that make it seem like favortism is being had, but I have never attempted to harass anyone, I've avoided it. It's a huge slap in the face to see that you think it's harassment.

 

Adversary
 

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Personally speaking, as someone who has dealt with suicide in multiple fronts, I do think that the part concerning Liloz's analogy (suicide "joke") the context does matter. Yes, the words were very crude and similar language should be refrained from going forward (especially from higher-ups). However, I do think that going and saying Liloz's intentions were to make a joke on suicide is a bit slanderous and inaccurate and I cannot say that I agree even slightly with the way that it is being used here as a weapon.

Context matters, but when a concern is bought up that it makes someone feel uncomfortable, the least he should've done is apologized, instead he doubled down and said it's not a joke but a figure of speech and then ignored it when it was said it still made the person uncomfortable.

 

olliemas
 

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I think you're misunderstanding the reasoning here, Duck has pointed out others because he feels he's being held to a much higher standard as they're getting away with 'worse'. The inconsistency is the problem, Liloz joking about suicide isn't acceptable, Jinzu being racist transphobic etc. (if true) is also completely unacceptable. Duck is a human being who can see all these people getting away with stuff that he feels should be punishable whilst he pays the iron price.

This is exactly what I mean. Lilozs toxicity is well documented but nothing ever happens.

 

Infra
 

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Hi, Social Media Team Leader here. This was not solely a Salad decision. Allow me clear this up completely.

I claimed it was Salad as it was him that put the welcome message in Teams and the Promotion details where his only reason for promoting JG was "cute" in the staff discord

 

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JGuary helped us for about 7 hours straight with setting up that event stream on such short notice, keep in mind he wasn't even staff. Considering he has expressed interest for ages, right from when we were first writing the proposal for the team, along with the dedication shown in this - Salad and I decided an application would just be wasting time, especially considering the team is brand new and still in its formation stages, where promoting people without apps is not an uncommon thing to do.

The team was over a month old at the time and all of the current members had made apps. An application should be made no matter the person. Friend or not, qualified or not. At least then you can have something to point to when asked about it.

 

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People make mistakes, but what did you think about said mistake? Oh, perfect opportunity to start a fight and attempt shitting on Council! After all, everything is their fault! So yeah, fuck Salad - lets start a fight in front of every single team member and blow shit out of proportion!

This is just wrong. I don't want to start fights. But are you expecting just full compliance and people to just accept what's happening? I will always speak out if there's actions that I don't agree with. To try and stop people from speaking on their concerns is shameful.

 

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How is it so hard to comprehend that, as a member of staff, your conduct in public and around fellow staff is incredibly important? Obviously, I had to raise my concerns internally on how you were staff at all with such terrible conduct, it was that bad.

I acknowledge that internally, my behaviour was bad. But all I did, I did out of genuine concern on things happening around the community. Don't think it was just random hatred because it definitely wasn't. I only ever wanted to help.

 

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1. Yes, you absolutely have been.
2. No, it absolutely hasn't been contained to private Discords.
3. Yeah, it absolutely never is kept private because you constantly go out and make subtle references/jabs to them.

I said mostly, there were a few posts outside on Main, mostly regarding the Mod Dissolution, and the thing about having no trust in Salad, which, if you check the screenshots, I wasn't toxic about it at all. I was just expressing concerns.

 

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You may have been acting on your heavy hatred of Salad and other council members

I have no hatred for anyone, I dislike how a lot of things go on around here but I don't hate anyone. I don't have trust in some, that's not the same as hatred.

 

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This has been communicated several times to you, but you clearly just don't care.

I do care, hence why I wanted to hash everything out with Salad so we can come to some sort of understanding. Instead, it was used against me.

 

LunarBlade

 

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Earlier this month, on one of my random check ins in discord, I commented on how Rot isn't as active as it used to be. Duck seemed to have taken that as a personal insult to his management, got defensive, and replied with hostility. Now, I try to be understanding, and laughed it off. Joked about it later on during my discussion with Adversary. However it was clear to a few people that were there that Ducks wording sounded like a personal attack rather then... discussing his view on why the servers population has dropped. Even a few weeks ago, it was clear that Duck was stressed out about things, likely related to people. And if you let those things get to you, your going to eventually break. 

I never meant to come off as hostile, as I said a few moments later. But you keep coming on to the Discord to insult me and how the server is going while not having played on it in months, so it's breaking me down to continuously see from you. I do what I can for my server, I do my best, but to see you constantly bash my efforts hurts, I know the pop is down right now, but I was still trying to give the best experience I could for my players.

 

Joshy

 

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I wish you didn't post this.

I was told to post this by Nick, instead of continuing in the Gmod Discord.

 

Salad

 

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I am confused as to why you would bring this up once again, when I and most everyone else has tried our hardest to move past this, yet here you are bringing it up once more in an attempt to strengthen this argument.

I bought it up as I wanted to get everything off my chest, not to reopen old wounds.

 

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Here we have an example of you inserting yourself into a situation because you dislike me.

I saw something happening that was unfair to others and I hate seeing that, so I said something. It's not because I dislike you, I don't trust you. And you've given me many reasons why I shouldn't trust you.

 

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I'm now going to address your claims that I am the reason you received your demotions. I am HEAVILY involved in several of the aspects of the community, such as holding a moderation position as well as a council position. As I told you in our DMs which you posted publicly on this thread already, I was not the only person involved. I don't have an all powerful say to get someone demoted. I can only provide the evidence necessary to prove why someone is unfit to hold a position, which is evidence you've provided on many occasions.

Are you calling me out for posting DMs publicly when you made them public first? And you know your word holds a lot of power, you can make or break any team you want, you know this.

 

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I was trying to just joke around and the joke kept going, your response came some hours later after the convo had finished, and when I saw you took offense I went straight to DMs. As I was told to, keep it in DMs.

 

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For a little backstory on some of the other fun times Duck has aired his "criticisms" of me publicly, lets take a trip down memory lane with one specific instance, that of me becoming a GMOD Server Manager:

I see nothing there that can be seen as toxic, except for you saying that people who don't like others having so many roles are "smoothbrains" which is just another word for the R word. The thing about Council ganging up on others is something I've personally experienced when I was in the Teams Discord, where I was talked down on when it came to the Mod Team Dissolution. And then as for taking it to Teams, I dropped it as soon as I was told that you got the position as you were the one who suggested it, which I hadn't been informed of at the time. I instantly dropped it as soon as I found that out.

 

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You attempted to go over Ben's head to Nick and even Roy over your demotion from moderator and had a nice lengthy conversation with Nick about your behavior and the way you conduct yourself, and you yourself once again could not hold a civil conversation and air your grievances in a professional and contained manner, and continued to act out publicly after being informed it was not the proper thing to do, regardless of if it was a joke you made about me or not. 

I attempted to "go over Bens head" because prior to that whole thing, he had been ignoring me, I messaged him four times beforehand, each time I was ignored up until my demotion. How else am I meant to get a response, because he wasn't giving me one at all. So I went to Nick. Why am I the only one being this intensely scrutinized? Others, some in Council, have done far worse, and yet I can't even joke around without you getting offended. How is that fair at all? I just wanted to joke around.

 

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For example, you created holiday themed Discord icons for a few of our community Discords, and I asked if you had the original files so that I could make some for our other discords (I ended up being too busy to actually get it done though lol)

Which I responded with and spent time making a new template as I deleted the old one, when I'm spoken to politely I'll respond politely.
 

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I truly have tried to be nothing but nice to you since your demotion from mod but you continue to hold past mistakes over my head and others heads. We are all human, and for you to say that I have this unprovoked anti Duck campaign that I am running in GFL is completely and utterly false.

It just seems that way as you were one of the first to attack me for asking for better communication in Teams Discord, yes, I got toxic, but that's because I was being treated like an utter waste of space because I disliked how the situation was being handled.

 

Bloopers

 

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I, too, feel like my past actions are only being taken into consideration, rather than the change that is being made.

The issue here is that you were given many chances, from being unbanned last year after a 5 year ban, to your last ban which got revoked due to the majority not happening in game, but which lead to a ban on Discord. I don't deal with your appeals or anything anymore. I leave that for Pyros and inform him when one comes up, and the last one was a staff vote on whether to unmute you or not.

 

Alexis

 

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I never understood the appeal of me sucking up to higher ups came from. I was expanding myself in the community and making friends.

As I said in DMs to you, my concerns came from the fact that you were really only active for a week on other Discords, just starting to expand out, before going for Discord and Forum Moderator. It seemed out of nowhere and a big leap, and did seem like at the time that you were going for power. As of this time, I'm not too sure anymore as your activity has fizzled out which does give me concern for any other role you go for.

 

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Even during your time as a Discord Moderator, instead of disuading the argument between you and a banned member from Rotation, you continued to argue with him, even going as far as telling people to ignore him and that his opinion doesn't matter because said player is banned. 

I believe what I said was "Don't vote on this if you don't play on Rotation or are banned" as it was a vote for something affecting current players of Rotation at the time. It wasn't a jab at him at all. It was a blanketed statement.

 

JuicyBenny

 

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You handled situations poorly in my estimation as a regular amongst the server, Im aware of my history. im aware i should be no one to judge behavior, however i also recognize what ive done wrong and ask what i need to improve on and do it.

Your behaviour has varied greatly, and you've had so many excuses for it. From the toxicity being your brother, to blaming it on a medical condition, to celebrating each time you got banned. You've been told by so many about your behaviour and you ended it with a Mass RDM which lead to your final ban, which, again, you came onto the forums to celebrate it in the status updates.

 

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You had multiple times where people had told you issues before you ignored it and even when they reminded you

If you're speaking on your messages to me, I always checked the PMs and looked into issues but I never responded, because when I did message you, you turned all of your behaviour around on me like it was my fault.

 

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You decided to take in server drama to the discord for no reason other than to boost ego. In my case you decided to personally go at me even when i was in a period of working on myself and helping people when need be. you labeled me toxic and misquoted me on multiple occasions. You had laughed and mocked concerns i brought up or questions i asked just because of my history and id say you made potential for encouragement of others to do the same to me. You even talked shit about me when i wasent around. Made fun of people talking kindly about me for how fun i was.

This is just false, I never shit on anyone for saying you were fun, I didn't comment on it at all. I never even talked about you when you weren't around. And none of the Moderators at the time dealt with your complaints as literally all the guy was doing was saying "benny". He said it once and you pinged mods and wanted him punished for saying your name. When we didn't do that, you left the discord for another day. You were labelled as toxic because of the things I've said above. Not because you weren't and I was trying to make you seem like it. It was because of so many past behaviours.

 

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I understood i have a bad history and theres not alot of excuses for some of my actions. Ive admitted fault to them yet you labeled me as playing a victim. Yet i never saw you once untill this forum...where you said somethings you shouldent have done. this is the first time ive seen you admit fault and its a half assed fault because of your justifications. Other than that ive never seen you take fault when the fault is yours. I was hoping some of this was going to show a little bit of that duck i knew a long while ago but its not. its the same shit dude.

I label you as playing the victim because you think you're right in every situation. To quote one of your rants "im the ego never wrong". You failed to do anything, you'd say you're working on things but then never did and went back to saying everyone else is wrong all the time.

 

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Oh and before you ask for screenshots. You know i dont have any.  Cause you told me a while ago during my time of wanting to change how i am said i need to "let go of petty grudges" and said i should delete my "issues" folder. which contained all sorts of screenshots. All of them ingame. All the discord ones were infront of moderators themselves so they know those. It pains me because you always used that. Yet when i asked you for screenshots of things i did or said you could never provide yourself.

Now this is some new lie I've only seen twice, where did I ever say that? I've checked our DMs and I've found nothing regarding that at all. This is just a big lie that's being spread for some reason.

 

Everything I've done, I've always done out of genuine concern for myself or others. I see how it is toxic, and it definitely is, and for that I do truly apologize. But I did everything I could to make the community better. I put my entire soul into Rotation/Modded. It's all I have done in my free time. It's all I had. I just wanted the best experience I could give for my players. But then I see people that don't play say how everything is so much worse now, without even stepping on to the server. It's broken me. I only ever wanted the best for the players, that's all. That's all I ever wanted. And now I have nothing.

 

I am sorry, I really am to those I've hurt, to those I've failed, to those who put their trust in me, and to those who I've needlessly bashed out of my own warped perspective of what's best for the community.I do want to return to my Server Manager spot and continue updating the server as I had so many plans for future holidays, the wellbeing of the server, and I just want to continue making things better.

 

I can see from comments that were here and that were deleted that the general consensus is that I'm nothing but a toxic, worthless piece of shit, and I don't want to leave, because I still just want to help Rotation/Modded out, but if everyone feels that's best then I'll leave. I'm sorry for everything.

[Alexis 578 / 12,012]

15 minutes ago, Duck. said:

I can see from comments that were here and that were deleted that the general consensus is that I'm nothing but a toxic, worthless piece of shit, and I don't want to leave, because I still just want to help Rotation/Modded out, but if everyone feels that's best then I'll leave. I'm sorry for everything.

There is no need for you to leave the community. I'm sure everyone here wants to just see you improve your overall opinions and behavior on people.

 

I believe that you can change... you used to say that people don't really change. So, show us you can, become a better person in the community and help others and most importantly help yourself! I believe in you. I never stopped doing so.

[Ben 2,378 / 31,867]

24 minutes ago, Duck. said:

I attempted to "go over Bens head" because prior to that whole thing, he had been ignoring me, I messaged him four times beforehand, each time I was ignored up until my demotion.

I didn't reply back to you on those four messages because it wasn't necessary and some of your comments in the DMs weren't really needed. 

[Shuruia 3,145 / 28,053]

16 minutes ago, Ben said:

I didn't reply back to you on those four messages because it wasn't necessary and some of your comments in the DMs weren't really needed. 

Higher-ups should never ghost. It always makes things worse.

[TheJitFace 699 / 18,162]

3 hours ago, Duck. said:

I can see from comments that were here and that were deleted that the general consensus is that I'm nothing but a toxic, worthless piece of shit, and I don't want to leave, because I still just want to help Rotation/Modded out, but if everyone feels that's best then I'll leave. I'm sorry for everything.

Don't leave. You spoke your mind and what you really believed in, you received backlash, but that doesn't make you a bad person. There are people here who are on your side and see your point, they just won't speak up because all the higher ups are "against" you. 

Not a diss to anyone, just saying what might be going on.

[Lunar Blade 178 / 3,309]

3 hours ago, Duck. said:

I never meant to come off as hostile, as I said a few moments later. But you keep coming on to the Discord to insult me and how the server is going while not having played on it in months, so it's breaking me down to continuously see from you. I do what I can for my server, I do my best, but to see you constantly bash my efforts hurts, I know the pop is down right now, but I was still trying to give the best experience I could for my players.

 

Not once have I insulted you about how the server is going. In fact, during and after each time I've talked about my feelings on the state of things, I've made it clear that I don't believe there to be anyone at fault, and that I think you'd ran the server just fine. I know you've done your best running the server, not once have I ever said otherwise. The only issue I have with you being SM is, to put it bluntly, your poor people skills. And that's something that can be improved with effort. But you have to want to change for anything to come of it, and actively work towards that change. 

 

The state of the server will always be a fickle thing. Whether you agree or not, I believe it to be fact that the community is at least 70% of a server, and that community just isn't as strong as it used to be. There isn't much that you can do to change that, because people aren't something you control. You either have to wait it out, or make changes to draw new people in. You've leaned towards the latter it seems. And that's not bad, but that change itself will be noticed. That's all there is to it. 

 

If you actually take some time to work on yourself so that you can be a better all around leader, I can see you coming back as SM one day. But right now, coupled with how much stress you've let build up... I think you need a break. And you can use it to reflect on everything said here, and everything that's happened in the past year. Hope you had a good Christmas, and have a Happy New Year. 

[Shuruia 3,145 / 28,053]

3 hours ago, Duck. said:

I am sorry, I really am to those I've hurt, to those I've failed, to those who put their trust in me, and to those who I've needlessly bashed out of my own warped perspective of what's best for the community.I do want to return to my Server Manager spot and continue updating the server as I had so many plans for future holidays, the wellbeing of the server, and I just want to continue making things better.

 

I can see from comments that were here and that were deleted that the general consensus is that I'm nothing but a toxic, worthless piece of shit, and I don't want to leave, because I still just want to help Rotation/Modded out, but if everyone feels that's best then I'll leave. I'm sorry for everything.

I feel as though you've been put in a vulnerable position from what has happened recently, and you're speaking more from the heart here rather than the mind. This isn't to diminish anything that you said, but I think it would be best if you take a break from GFL for a couple of days to reflect on what transpired and what has been said. If you really feel the need to leave, then go. That's your choice. But you don't want to leave, and you said as much yourself. I don't want you to leave, either. In fact, I doubt anyone in this thread really wants you to leave. Sometimes it's easy to think that way when it feels as though the majority of people are against you, but Jit is right in that some people actually agree with some of your points and are just keeping it out of the thread. I happen to be one of them, as I expressed to you in Discord DMs.

 

It's good that you apologised as well. I don't see situations like this in a black & white manner—they're often a confusing mish-mash of various circumstances that make the whole thing a very grey area. I think it's undeniable that you've done some wrong, but it's respectable that you wanted to defend yourself in other matters as well. Apologising for what you did do wrong does not invalidate any of your defence, nor does it take away from any criticisms you may have towards the "accusers" in this particular case. Perhaps what you should focus on is improving yourself in the areas that led to this whole situation, while the people you criticised in turn should strongly consider what you had to say as well.

[Rhysin_ 540 / 13,208]

4 hours ago, Duck. said:

I do want to return to my Server Manager spot and continue updating the server as I had so many plans for future holidays, the wellbeing of the server, and I just want to continue making things better.

I do think you could be a great Server Manager again, once you take some time to yourself and learn how to better address concerns you may have. While this all happened and I don't disagree with your demotion, it'd be ignorant of me to say you weren't a great technical Server Manager.  (Also you can still help out Modded as a member, just talk to BraeLyn about what you were planning and you could still make it happen.)

 

4 hours ago, Duck. said:

I can see from comments that were here and that were deleted that the general consensus is that I'm nothing but a toxic, worthless piece of shit, and I don't want to leave, because I still just want to help Rotation/Modded out, but if everyone feels that's best then I'll leave. I'm sorry for everything.

I feel like your ignoring the fact that half of the comments addressing your SM position mentioned that you were good on the technical side of managing. There is no reason for you to leave the community, you just need some time to work on how you interact with others.

This is the only part ill be addressing, as I feel the people who were responded to should be the ones who comment on his reply if they feel necessary.

[Joshy 4,368 / 44,996]

Something that might be helpful with some of these ideas or challenges or is addressing them one by one in separate threads.  Let people have a concentrated take on it and spread it out over some time; note that some strategy and political maneuvering might be necessary if you want to make something of it.   Despite the bad timing it looks like some people agree with you on some of those topics...  by the time April comes around you might be able to swing yourself to the top and really have a say on it.  I think something else you pointed out too... some council members were able to gain Server Manager roles during their term (one of them even grew into a Division Leader)...  I don't think it would be a stretch for you.  I really think a practical solution is staring you down; I hope you take advantage of it.  A bit of other good news is it looks like a lot of people can relate to you and it seems to me that most of them have been able to recover despite their past stumbles.

 

🙂 

[Joshy 4,368 / 44,996]

I'm going to hide a few posts.  Moderators are looking at the posts.  It might take us a few minutes to think about what is being said and if we're being fair.  A lot of this is gray area no right or wrong answers and so it's hard.  It's okay to use the "report" feature.  I don't recommend backseat moderating (just heard that term the other day-- wow wee).

[Nick 1,249 / 17,857]

I have already covered what I want to cover, but I feel like I must respond to this since it is quite important to all of this:

 

8 hours ago, Duck. said:

I was told to post this by Nick, instead of continuing in the Gmod Discord.

 

Yes, I did ask you to make your remarks in a thread so you could collect your thoughts, but this was after you yourself said the following: (Message link)

 

The moderators would probably have had to mute you if you had kept going in the Discord channel. I have told you a few times that making a thread like this would be a bad idea. I feared it would do more harm than good to you, and I really hoped we could work this out through other means. As I have stated earlier, I think all your concerns are valid and should be brought up, but many of them have already been brought up or, at least in my opinion, does not deserve this kind of attention. Lastly, "dropping all your grenades at once", as Joshy put it, is a very uphill start to a constructive discussion. I know I was not clear with these intentions during our talks, but I was not sure how to bring it up without you feeling dismissed which I did not want to.

 

And just to make it clear, you even said this yourself: (Message 1 & message 2)

 

Making this thread is on you, and I am sad to see how it has made you felt. I hope you know that I don't want you to leave, and I have never doubted your abilities as a manager, but we can only be so lenient, and it just wasn't working out.

[Joshy 4,368 / 44,996]

I'm going to take the hit and hide the rest of it.  I'm sorry.  While we were talking about it... looked okay ish might be relevant enough, but it took a turn towards a bad direction.  If you want to reword it please think about some of the earlier suggestions focus on a topic/process and try not to make it about a person.

 

I think a good topic related to that is talking about the standards for server managers and how to hold people accountable if they are doing something that is not right (or doesn't look right).

 

edit:

 

I put some guidelines here.

 

 

Edited December 29, 2020 by Joshy

[Shuruia 3,145 / 28,053]

I think this thread ran its course, and I don't think anyone stands to gain anything from this thread any longer. Most people who participated had a chance to air their grievances and voice their opinion on things. For the time being, it will remain viewable for the sake of clarity and transparency on the matter.

Edited December 29, 2020 by Shuruia