Good Bye for awhile

[Finnick 2,355 / 32,290]

Hello, I honestly never thought I would be making one of these. I'm retiring for awhile.

 

Let me just get into this by explaining my time of being an admin in GFL and other things relating to GFL.

 

So, I ended up getting my first laptop in the December of 2014(for Christmas), and I was super excited.

I was extremely hyped of being able to finally join GFL, after playing hours after hours of GFL CS:S Deathrun at my local Gaming play store, called Area 51.

It was sort of like the Chuck-e-cheese for where I'm from, except for shitheads who didn't own a console or PC. (like me at the time)

I made my first ever, and my still to this day best friend named Zachary, His in game name was just Zac`.

Him being my friend made me feel so good about myself, because he was the most funniest person I met.
I'm going to be honest, I didn't have many friends before getting into GFL, but now I have plenty, which honestly saved me from hurting myself. 

Before I even knew about GFL, I was in a serious depressing state, and I kept having thoughts of me hurting my self very badly. ( I don't want to say killing myself, because that's a bit over excessive in my opinion)

 

But playing with people who could soon become friends, was the most amazing feeling ever. (for me, anyways.)

I was banned about 3 times before I realized that I wanted to become admin for CS:S Deathrun.

I didn't know how most things worked, and I had never used the forums and needed 25 posts to apply, and as most people these days do, they spam the forums. I did aswell.

I didn't even realize I was spamming to be completely honest, I was only commenting on posts every hour or so, but I guess it was

 

Later on, I tried as hard as I could to change my image, and it sort of worked. I made an admin application for CS:S Deathrun, and got +1's from most of the admin team.

But, I got denied by the manager, who was ACanadianAsian at the time, because he said he had enough admins at the time. Then he accepted someone the next day ._.

I was super angry when he accepted someone else, yet I had everything going good for me, Yet that still wasn't enough somehow.

I tried contacting him to see if there was anyway, that I could atleast be an Operator, and he said no. (I know that's not how it works, but it was worth a try.)

 

I soon got into Minigames, becuase my friend Zac, was playing it A LOT and I didn't really know I liked it until then. Shinigami was the manager at the time, and I didn't know him either. 

He would just keep telling me about how he was a pedophile or something like that all the time, or make jokes about it. (even going as far to making his spray to under-aged girls that were dressed inappropriately)

I again tried to apply for Minigames after getting the help with zac, and again I got most +1's from the admin team. I did however, get a BIG -1 from one guy named, oh wait, ACanadianAsian.

 

I then realized that ACanadianAsian was being SUPER biased to me. He was acting super nice to me about my app, and saying how I'm doing a good job, and to keep it up. Then he goes to say a bunch of false allegations of me, and even going as far enough to bringing up the past. Even though I had changed from being a Shit talker and troll / from a calm and collected guy.

I didn't get any response from Shinigami though, he left my app to sit there for 3 MONTHS, until I decided to bump it. At the time of me doing that, my friend Zac had gotten Trial Server Manager, after me helping him get it.

 

So, I bump my MG App ONCE after 3 MONTHS, then Zac tell's me to not do it, because everyone gave their votes. I knew that I was allowed to bump an app that had no answer within a week or 2, and yet I still got told to "drop it.".

 

 

I then got tired of CS:S, because there was no use of anyone even trying to get to know me, and understanding how much I changed, just to prove myself for others.

I moved to Gmod, since I got it recommended by Zac and Salo(old purge admin) 
I began to play horror maps with Zac and casserole(zac's other friend)

 

Minigames was being opened by Ozzy(the manager at the time) and I was kind of excited, because Ozzy didn't know who I was, and he "claims" that he knew how I was at the time of me being a cool and collected guy in CS:S.

 

I applied for Minigames admin like a few days of it opening, or when he offered it to people. I got accepted for like 5 minutes, but then @Danopulled Ozzy into a TS Channel, and told him about me jumping from server to server applying wherever I can get my hands on. I didn't mind his opinion, it did seem like it of the time span of all this happening. Ozzy then declined my app, but he told me to re-apply in 2 weeks and that he would accept me then. 

 

That's how my GMOD admin story began. But Minigames started to die (very badly) with his updates just messing up more and more due to GMOD updates, with Plug-ins not working and such.

It ended up being closed. I wasn't admin for a while, until @Hannah Offered me to be admin in her Hide and seek server. I accepted.

 

I didn't know what to think of it, I thought Hide and seek would be like Prop hunt, but I was totally wrong. It wasn't bad, I just wasn't interested in it. So I resigned.

At the time of me being an admin in Hide and Seek, I was working my way to Purge admin, because Purge had more things to do, and it was just an amazing server at the time.

 

 

I applied once, but after one incident of me being impatient because the admins that were playing, weren't answering my calls, even though a few admins (not going to mention them) we're just running around doing nothing. I was furious, which kind of ruined my chances of getting admin at that time. I didn't know what came over me at the time of me doing that impatient flip out, I just.... snapped. 

I closed my app a few days after, because I ended up getting -1's because of the incident (I know that sounds very cheeky of me).

I waited about a month later to re-apply and show that I can keep calm, and I ended up getting accepted.

Being an admin in Purge, was the best thing that ever happened to me, It was fun, chill, and a time filler for me.

For a months, being an admin was fun taking calls and helping players.

 

But, I began to lose contact with friends, my best friend Zac got dumped by his GF, and stopped playing games all together. I had no one to talk to for months.

Sure, I had the admin team, but I never really got a chance to talk to them and have fun.

 

Recently, so much things have been happening one by one, and It's been making me more upset than I ever been.

Many people from the admin team had stopped chatting with me through steam, unless I started a conversation first somehow.

Which made the friends relationship feeling one sided.

 

I had done so many things that I regret here. But I have done things that I'm proud of. Becoming an admin helped me become more mature in my personal life.

I'm not quitting games all together, I just don't think I should be filling my un-used time in a server I hardly play in.

 

Also, I felt like Purge wasn't really changing. For me anyways, I don't want to sound like a piece of shit, but I just got so bored of purge, because it was getting so dull for me. It was just a pain to get in the server for atleast a half hour. I'm not trying to diss Purge, I love purge. But I just had a rough time with it for the past few weeks..

 

These are people that I have to thank.

@Addy- You made my life so much better, you were so funny and cheered me up when I needed it. But it seems we're drifting apart. Either way, I still think of you as a friend.

 

@OGMartin- You are my meme master, You're also very funny + you have given me plenty of advice to apply to being an admin.

 

Purge admin team- I love you all, you have made my life so much better (even though some of you never even bothered to talk to me)

 

@Zebra- PENIS , Anyways, thanks for giving me the opportunity to admin in your server, It was a hell of a time!

 

@denros- I can't thank you enough, You help me with computer stuff that I know jack shit about, Thanks.

 

@Dano- You are my  king, and I will always appreciate you helping me when I needed something answered

 

@Domps- You were also there for me when I needed questions answered, you are also pretty stinky

 

@JoelSmith- Thanks for being a good friend, and helping me through tough decisions, stay fresh, eat fresh.  

 

@Bae- Derpy, thank you for helping me with decisions, and for actually talking to me sometimes.

 

@ButterKing5000- You were pretty helpful, and kind towards me, you're pretty funny and know when to be serious, thanks for being my fellow colleague and friend.

 

@Mary- There's your mention biatch, Naw jk. :D You're a cool and chill grill, You honestly we're nice to me when I needed comforting

 

I see that this is pretty long, so I just want to say this, I'm not leaving for ever either, I just lost an interest of being an admin.

I have such little time to myself, and I want to spend that time on playing the things I want.

If I ever feel like I should come back, the time will come.

 

EDIT: To summarize, I'm going through an emotional rollercoaster. I need time to myself and things are coming to me one at a time which are too much to take. I possibly will return but I'm not sure. I want to say retiring because I may come back, but yet I'm still not sure.

Edited July 9, 2016 by Finnick

[Skittlez 721 / 11,279]

I can't read all of that.. I'm sorry.. It's sad to see you go though, really enjoyed the meme's in the kik chat.

Spoiler

You still never drew me..

 

[Mary 198 / 5,248]

smh. Wheres my @ 

 

 

EDIT: @Finnick ty

Edited July 9, 2016 by Mary

[GLiTCh 376 / 6,255]

Sad to see you go from purge. It was nice seeing you there ;-;

[Addy 1,647 / 18,673]

Damn, I know we talked about this a while back, but I still didn't expect it any time soon. Hope to still see you around (even though you said you're JUST resigning, not leaving).

 

I had fun playing Purge with you whenever I was/you were interested in it.

 

Now go get that CS:S admin

[Bae 2,489 / 41,468]

I've read this through PM first then now it's on here. I will say this again, you've done your part and if people can't give you what you should deserve or appreciate your work; then leave it. You helped. You sacrifice your time to watch our servers. 

 

 

Before anyone says something about "It's your fault for making finnick leave" because as stated. I helped him make his decisions. It was Finnick/Dakota's choice to decide whether or whether not to leave. All I did was point out some things regarding GFL and Purge overall. We all have our differences and interests of GFL itself. I did not FORCE him to quit. So yeah, this was all based upon Dakota's Decision. But I am glad that I helped him realise his conclusion.

[OGMartin 302 / 5,204]

bye. 

PRANKED

UR NOT LEVIN

[Dano 933 / 15,500]

@Violator isn't to blame for that, I talked to Ozzy about you. Sorry for that, but you showed us that you've changed, anyway.

 

I'm sad to see you step down, but I hope you'll enjoy your time as much as you can and that you'll still be with us at times. Have as much fun as possible.

We'll hopefully see you fully back soon.

[Hannah 103 / 4,105]

Peace man

 

[Stud 144 / 3,973]

Sad to see you go.

Had some very fun times with you, and hopefully will continue to have them. You've been a good friend, father, and son :lenny:. Anytime you want to play a game, let Uncle Studdy Poo know, and I'll do my best to join you.

 

Edit: You've made an impact boi. 

 

Thanks for reading mah boi. Talk to you soon.

~ @Stud

 

 

Edited July 9, 2016 by Stud

[Google 9 / 2,211]

 

[Zebra 908 / 11,890]

I don't believe you.

 

No but really I'm gonna miss yo ass. It's been fun. I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

P.S. I like how the beginning of my @ is PENIS.. I love it.

Edited July 9, 2016 by Zebra

[Domps 300 / 5,273]

I have to beat Push to posting this, duces man and you are truly stinky

[Nerd 30 / 2,616]

See ya. It was nice to have another Steven Universe fan on the team.

Feel free to chat me up about it anytime you like.

[Pyros 1,794 / 30,629]

I never talked with but, sad to see someone leaving the community 

But where is the cameras from this prank?

[Joel 543 / 12,552]

Join the club Finnick  

[Finnick 2,355 / 32,290]

Would like to thank you all for the support,

This was a really tough decision to make, and I'm glad some of you we're there for me when I needed to talk about it.

@Bae, @Addy and(@GLiTChsorta) were there for me when I was making this decision.

It's not their fault for why I retired, I had been thinking about resigning for about 2 months now, but I said I don't want to full out resign, I'd rather just retire for a few months.

 

I did try talk to a few other admins, but some just ignored me which made me feel like the decision I was making was the right choice.
At times, I felt like my work was never appreciated, and that I had to be the conversation starter for others because Most of my steam friends don't even speak to me.

I had only been in TS about 3-5 times in the time span of 3 months, trying to communicate with other admins was just a shitfest full of cancerous spam and stuff like that.

I do like some quality memes through a soundboard once and a while, but when you full out blast ear rape into my earphones, I don't wanna.

 

 

But thanks for everyone who tried,

Ciao. 

[Lemon 163 / 4,972]

Even though I never really got to know you, it sucks to see you go... Anyways, I'll see you when I do, bye.

[BulldoG 18 / 2,463]

"Lip Slurping Noises"

[Chormee 2,973 / 29,227]

k bye thanks for the shoutout babe. anyway, you were one of the only non-cancer admins on purge so gg love you babe