"He was so sick of saying sorry, so he said goodbye."

[Cassie 1,226 / 22,978]

"And I realized that there's a big difference between deciding to leave and knowing where to go."
-Robyn Schneider

I wish I didn't have to make this post. I wish I could've stayed with Breach for years, being an active, effective manager. But it's pretty clear at this point that I can't be that person. Therefore, I'm resigning from Breach Manager and from the Breach staff team. I had wanted to wait until Site 65 got added since I finally was able to do something for the server, but I'm going to go ahead and leave so someone new can bring in some wonderful things. I know I should leave, but it's still hard to do, and I honestly don't know what I'll spend a lot of my time doing.

"I’m sorry for many of the things I’ve done, too. Everyone is sorry. It’s good to be sorry—but don’t make a fetish of it."
-Elizabeth Gilbert

Countless times I've tried to apologize for my inactivity, for my failure to do the job I said I'd do, for my failure to meet the responsibilities of my role and the expectations of the community. But an apology implies I believe I deserve another chance, or at least that I deserve forgiveness. I think I've used up all of my chances and that many of my actions do not deserve forgiveness. So I won't try to apologize; I'll just explain.

"We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either."
-John Green

I joined breach three years ago, in April of 2017. I almost immediately applied for admin, because I was also trying for admin on TTT and I thought being admin on Breach would be good for the TTT application. That's the truth about how this all started. I was an immature, power hungry 13-year-old. Maybe Kubnair recognized that, because my application took forever. Not that it it would be hard to recognize, I barely had any time on Breach and applied instantly. Regardless, it got accepted after a few months when Xy was manager and after I actually began to play Breach. For a time, I played Breach everyday and was almost active, though I did start playing other games pretty often as well. And then Breach died a bit after I got full admin. I started afking on the empty server. Xy noticed I was the only admin still making any kind of effort, and offered me senior admin. I'll be honest: I expected him to offer me senior. If you want a good title for my Breach story, "Ulterior Motives and Unfulfilled Promises" would probably work well.

 

Breach came back to life not long after I got senior. I believe I played it some, but I ultimately stopped afking and went to those other games again. For a guy who has had no romantic relationships, I sure have a lot of examples of infidelity. Anyways, I tried to fulfill the "duties" of a senior admin. The rank never had any clear rules or responsibilities, but it did have some rough guidelines. And I didn't perform that well there, in my opinion. I was constantly unsure of what to allow and not to allow from admins and players alike, and I was unsure of admin applicants without actually being active on the server. I understand that not knowing what you're doing is normal for people, but I seem to suffer from it almost 24/7. However, I don't think I was a completely horrible senior admin. My biggest failure as a senior was being inactive. Anyways, Xy decided to leave Breach as manager, and he made Haxray and I the new co-managers, which I had expected again (oof).

 

So, I've come to about the present. As manager, I have failed. I'm not the greatest Lua programmer ever, but that's not what really kept me from continuing to improve the server the way Xy always did. I just am not as interested in Breach as I once was. The fire for playing Breach and for being staff that was once in me has long gone cold, and it's time I accepted that and moved on. I find it hard to enjoy a lot of games now, not just breach, but that's not important. I hope the next manager for breach can update it and be active and carry with them a passion for Breach that I never had. I know I wasn't the worst manager, or the worst person, but I wanted to be better than who I was. In the end, I don't know if I left any sort of impact on the server. Hopefully I left something for the people of it.

"And sometimes things don't go as planned. And maybe that's a good thing, because too often we chase these moments around only to find out they are the wrong ones and the right ones have been patiently waiting in front of us all along."
-Mackenzie Campbell

I'm sorry. I know I said I wouldn't apologize, but after saying all that, I want people to know that I regret my actions. Maybe I'm exaggerating my failures, but it's pretty clear I did not succeed as manager like Xy did. I had such exciting plans for Breach, so long ago. But I'm always making plans, not just in Breach or in GFL, but in life. I'm so good at making whimsical plans and ideas, and so terrible at carrying them out. No plan survives first contact with the enemy, and my enemy is life. "Even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry" is more like "plans go awry" for me. I've tried to do so many things in GFL, and they all haven't gone to plan. Not that I regret doing them; I just wish I had done them better. Anyways, that's enough self pity for one post. To the Breach community: I'm sorry for not being the manager I should've been. I enjoy talking to a lot of you in the discord, and though I know I haven't been a good manager, I hope I've been a good friend.

"Sleep tight, ya morons."
-J.D. Salinger

And now, the mandatory Tagging of the Friends:
@Xy Thank you so much. You were the Breach dad. Maybe you didn't always respond instantly or with much emotion, but you were always caring for breach and made it what it is. I hope I haven't disappointed you too much.
@Kubnair If Xy was the breach dad, you were the uncle. You were only there for the baby years, and then you drifted away and became a passing memory, but you're still cool. Thanks for letting my admin app sit for a few months; if it had been accepted earlier I would've been an even bigger screw up. Also to the question I know you will ask: Yes. I would.
@Cpt.Haxray I'm sorry I wasn't that good of a co-manager. I'd like to think a lot of the decisions we made about admin apps and content weren't horrible. And you had the final say on a lot of those. I hope you enjoy Breach.
@VilhjalmrF You don't even play Breach and haven't for years, but you were the older brother of Breach when you did: cool, respectable, someone to look up to.
@Kaitsedd You're a good person, just don't let your temper get to you.
@Rollnaway I spent 190 hours on an Enigmatica 2 Expert Skyblock server rather than play Breach because of you. And you weren't even on with me for like half of those hours. smh.
@Nicole ❤️
@The Templar Hope you do good in life. I'll still be in the discord to talk to if you want.
@RaeTheGay Never forget the Jameskii riots. Sorry though, that shit sucked.
@KaitoKiriyama Thanks for all the voice acting you did for Breach. Sorry I couldn't create more stuff for you to voice.
@cd326s Hope you stick around Breach if you still enjoy it. You're one of the older admins and really fun to play games with.
@Carthing2 Go to horny jail. Also, we'll play VR together at some point. Probably.
@The1337Gh0st You're cool.
@John Jeez Man your voice is nice
@Minishogun721 Sorry the server died; you were a great admin and a funny dude.
@Deathz You were one of the first people I sponsored for admin. One thing I don't regret.
Severely Artistic: Never forget the Memory Access Violation. Also thanks for making 1162 and the 500 model.
@-_Fx_- Even though you aren't here anymore and hate all of us, I remember when you commented on my second TTT admin app "+1 I like homosexuals". You were the first to make me question my sexuality and I was only 14; thanks.

Shoutout to all the other Breach admins; past and present; you guys are the best.

[Felix whiston 24 / 1,663]

Goodbye duc, you were an amazing and nice manager, we'll miss you!

[Bastian0930 2 / 1,692]

Thanks for being a great manager, for when I did play.

[Maximino007 76 / 3,389]

 

[Kaitsedd 81 / 2,599]

Thank you for being the best manager. You made Breach an unforgettable experience. See ya later, space cowboy. We will all deeply miss you.

 

 

Edited July 11, 2020 by Kaitsedd

[Male_08 403 / 0]

Don’t beat yourself up about “failing” if anyone failed it was the community.

Edited July 11, 2020 by reme leader 049

[Joshy 4,344 / 44,234]

Part of being a great leader isn't about being the most talented or effective by yourself; it's about being the person who brings out the best in others.

 

Thanks for doing a great job.

[VilhjalmrF 2,097 / 30,612]

To be honest I rather have you think about the friends you have made in Breach rather than your plans for breach that- well... didn't go as planned. One positive thing you did get out of this was friends. Xy, Aqua, Rae, Chro, Cd, Kaito, Nicole, Gary, Haxray, the list goes on, they're all good friends. Personally that's all that matters. To be honest I wouldn't know what it'll like without ya in our little circle of friends. Anyways I'll see you around bud.

[Pyros 1,795 / 30,697]

[Cpt.Haxray 772 / 13,368]

You managed to do more than I did during the time as manager. You did not fail.

[schm aydo 81 / 1,729]

bye

[Rollnaway 18 / 1,574]

don't beat yourself up over your mistakes, you were a good manager. and I'm honored to be tagged because I didn't play something with you. so sad leaf doesn't have a forum account.

[TheJitFace 699 / 18,125]

Rip

[chan_man1 202 / 4,475]

I'm sure you'll do it all in the next endeavour.

[yoshiw2 23 / 1,475]

breach time

[Sofics 80 / 3,833]

See ya later 

[Charms 19 / 579]

A amazing send off for a perfect person and a amazing leader.

Take care fam, dont be a stranger.

 

[Buzzz 80 / 1,781]

This is sad... good luck buddy <\3 

[Guest]

Good bye duc

[Aquaticfilly0 394 / 7,939]

Duc, I hope you know the effort I went through to actually sign on to respond to your post. I may have left long ago, but it still makes me sad to see you leaving as well. There is no need to apologize for moving forward, or no longer having an interest in something. You were always a big part of breach, and I know you left a big impact on the community. You will be missed. Love you Duc

 

 

 

I know you would be worried your dear ol' furry would be mad at you for not tagging her, but I want you to know I'm not upset :3 (fuck, its been so long I forgot how to change text size.  Just imagine this paragraph is small)

Edited July 16, 2020 by Aquaticfilly0